It's Not Your Fault, Koko Bear: A Read-Together Book for Parents and Young Children During Divorce (Lansky, Vicki) [Paperback]

Vicki Lansky (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: December 15, 1997 | Age Range: 3 - 7 years | Series: Lansky, Vicki

This easy-to-understand children's story and parenting guide is intended for families where both parents plan to stay active and involved in their child's life. "It's Not Your Fault, KoKo Bear" revolves around a lovable bear who doesn't want to have two homes. KoKo's experience will help children learn what divorce means, how family life will change, and understand that the divorce is not their fault.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

How do you talk to your children about your divorce? How can you best handle their responses? Here's a children's book and parenting tool rolled into one. It's Not Your Fault, Koko Bear is a picture book designed to be read by parents to their children. Koko Bear's parents are getting a divorce, and Koko, a preschool-aged unisex bear, isn't happy about it. "I don't like this divorce. I don't want two homes," Koko says. Koko Bear's story doesn't minimize kids' pain, but it doesn't wallow in it either. The message is positive: children are reassured that their feelings are natural, that their parents still love and will care for them, and that the divorce is not their fault. At the bottom of each page, there are bullet points for parents that give information and advice about what the kids are going through, and the best way to handle each issue as it arises. (Ages 3 to 7 and parents)

From School Library Journal

PreSchool-Grade 2AKoKo Bear's parents are getting divorced, and the cub must go through many adjustments and deal with a wide range of emotions: anger, guilt, confusion, and sadness. At every step, MaMa and PaPa are helpful, understanding, and supportive. In fact, Lansky's introduction for parents notes that adults might think they "are unrealistically polite and even-tempered." However, this is a book with a purpose, and as such, plot and character take a backseat to message. Below each block of text are comments and suggestions for adults to deal with issues raised by that section of the story. The illustrations are similarly low-key and pleasant, adding to the overall sense of well being. As bibliotherapy, this book serves a purpose. It might be shelved with the author's Divorce Book for Parents (Book Peddlers, 1991) as well as in the juvenile section.AKathy Piehl, Mankato State University, MN
Copyright 1998 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Product Details

• Age Range: 3 - 7 years
  
• Paperback: 32 pages
• Publisher: Book Peddlers, The (December 15, 1997)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0916773477
• ISBN-13: 978-0916773472
• Product Dimensions: 7.7 x 7.6 x 0.1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 2.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (40 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #15,689 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #10 in Books > Children's Books > Social Situations > Family Life > Marriage & Divorce
  • #19 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Family Relationships > Divorce

More About the Author

Feed Me I'm Yours, my first book, began as a local fund raising cookbook in 1974 and turned me into an author. I thought it was the only book I'd ever write and then for a while, I thought that each new book would be my last. Was I wrong!

Along the way I also became a publisher. Feed Me I'm Yours was first published from my husband's and my home on Meadowbrook Lane (i.e., Meadowbrook Press). Our company grew very fast as we learned the publishing business. After our divorce 8 years later, I left Meadowbook Press with no plans of being a publisher again. However, as the books I wrote for others went out of print, I established my own imprint, Book Peddlers, which now publishes over half of my 30 titles...including (naturally) Vicki Lansky's Divorce Book for Parents.

When you write parenting books, everyone glances critically at your children. Thank goodness mine had the good grace to turn out well. Despite my mistakes (and they'll be the first to point them out) my thirty-something twosome have survived and thrived in spite of having had a "professional" mother. Lucky me!

I think my mother would be astonished to know that I give out cleaning and household advice to millions of people as a columnist for Family Circle magazine. After all, she 'not I' had made a career of homemaking. In 1988, when Family Circle asked me to be a contributing editor to their "Help" column, I was delighted. This would be a place for me to share "grown-up" tips. I was now moving beyond the days of needing to know that peanut butter removes gum from children's hair!

Writing about household hints has been more of an education than I ever dreamt. I'm often asked what my favorite tip is. Usually it's the one I've not heard before, which is what keeps my work so interesting. My books on Baking Soda tips and Vinegar tips have sold in the hundreds of thousands copies. Amazing. How lucky I am to be able to share so many helpful ideas...and it is good, clean FUN too.

Recently we have had most of my titles made available in eBook format.

I'm not sure of my next projects as I've decided to cut back a bit on my book life and work a little more on just my life. But I'm never far from my computer and I know there are idea gremlins scrambling around my brain waiting to escape. Stay tuned.....

For more about Vicki Lansky look her up on Wikipedia.(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vicki_Lansky)

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

72 of 73 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Indispensable book for young children July 31, 2003

By A Customer

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

This is a wonderful book and I am grateful that it was written and published. My kids have had this book read to them by both me and my ex-wife at both of our homes, and it made a difference to them. It teaches them that the divorce is not their fault, which is a surprisingly tenacious thought pattern. I read it to my kids 3-5 times a week for several months, and still remember my daughter's exclamation when she truly processed that the divorce was because of the parents and not the kids, "Ohhhhhhhh!"

I am purchasing this book for a second time because after not having read it for many months, I passed it on to a friend with a youngster who is divorcing. We then moved to a new house and my 8 year old is going through many of the divorce emotions again, and she specifically requested this book and said "I love that book".

There is one excellent page with nothing but drawings of Koko Bear showing him feeling different emotions. Instead of asking your child how they feel, which they often cannot explain (heck even adults have trouble!), you can have them point to a picture of Koko Bear and then talk about that emotion.

This book will not make the pain of divorce go away, but it provides a good way to learn that what they are feeling is normal and appropriate, that they are not alone in feeling the way they do, and that life will be okay even if it is not what we want.

24 of 24 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars An Absolute Must Read Book - Its a Goldmine December 14, 1999

By A Customer

Format:Hardcover

Located in a small community, resources are non existent for a parent seeking help in dealing with divorce and its effects on children. I am so glad to have found this book. It allows the child to associate and identify on his or her own. I purchased several other books on the subject, but nothing came close for this age group. I would suggest Lansky's book, "Divorce Book for Parents" as a must as well.

24 of 25 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A must-read for pre-school kids of divorce! October 17, 1999

By A Customer

Format:Paperback

This book hits home the message that divorce is not a child's fault, and that parents still love them, though now they are a family apart. My child was only 18mos. during that difficult marriage problem/separation period, and two years later raised many questions why Mommy and Daddy were divorced. This book helped to answer those important questions, and gave me excellent "talking points" to utilize.

24 of 27 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars Too direct and too much details about divorce. July 15, 2002

By L. BOWMAN

Format:Paperback

I've recently bought this book to help my three year old toddler understand about his emotions. But the two times I've read it to him, he always seemed uncomfortable, which I've never seen him experiencing this before. He couldn't stay still each time I read this book to him. This book is too direct, and too much details about the divorce issue that they're making my toddler uncomfortable each time I read this to him at bedtime. I don't think this book is helping him much with easing his emotions at all. He likes the "Mama and Daddy Bear's Divorce" book instead. And each time I read that to him, he'd always ask me to read that book over again. He's comfortable with that book.

16 of 17 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars My son really related to KoKo Bear May 19, 1999

By A Customer

Format:Paperback

My son is 3 1/2 and is having a hard time understanding why Daddy and Mommy don't live together anymore. This book helped me introduce the word Divorce to my son and was useful in explaining how to help my child cope with the feelings and trauma of separation. It gives useful tips to parents on how to talk and draw out your feelings. The illustrations were great and very realistic. My son wanted to read it twice!

15 of 16 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars It Made a Huge Difference December 13, 2000

By A Customer

Format:Paperback

To my 5-year-old, one of the hardest things to conquer was simply understanding what divorce is. This book made a huge difference to him--it gave him explanations, structure, validation and helped him to find what's positive about his new family situation. He keeps this book by his bed in a special spot because it has so much significance for him. I bought it before my husband and I separated, and put it aside for him for the time when he was ready to ask questions and be receptive to the answers. It made him feel better that a special book had been written just for young children experiencing divorce...it let him know that his experiences were shared by other children.

13 of 14 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A must have for 5yrs. and under. July 19, 2001

By "wmlilley"

Format:Paperback

It's Not Your Fault Koko Bear, is an excellent read aloud for a younger child. The fact that Koko is not gender specific makes it appropriate for all children and answers questions that many of the children will have. It is a lovely story and parents, grandparents,or councelors could make use of it. I can see this book being one of the books a young child will want read over and over. I especially loved the "bears blessing" that the mamma and pappa bear recited at night for Koko.

13 of 14 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Great book for a young boy dealing with parent's divorce September 15, 2000

By Janice Jennings

Format:Paperback

When I first bought this book I thought it was too advanced for my 5 year old son. I was wrong. My son instantly connected to Koko, the little boy bear who was very confused by the separation of his parents. The book described the exact emotions that my son was feeling. It gave my son some helpful coping tips and it also helped me explain things that I did not know how to put into words for a 5 year old. This is a great book for a young boy dealing with his parents separation and divorce.