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Your Guide to Slide: The Slacker's Guide to College

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Not sure quite how he did it, but 'Shady' Brady Lessard has somehow caught wind of my infamous techniques for cruising through a college career and took them to a publishing house. I would expect nothing less from a fellow slacker, of which he is most definately. A well organized, entertaining read from a credible slackhound.

This highly entertaining little book, published in 1995, has much more truth to it than most would care to admit. Sadly, it has gone out of print though Amazon still carries used copies at reasonable prices. This review includes a summary of the book's table of contents as well as quotes and summaries of each chapter. Any future release of this book will absolutely need to account for how to use the Internet to elevate slacking into the stratosphere.

CHAPTER 1 -- ALL ABOARD!

Hello Down There
Get That Degree
The Big Lie
An Easier Way
The Blowoff That Wasn't
Take the Slide Challenge
Life Is Pass/Fail

"Slacker: One who has developed a method of operation that requires less than half the effort of the average person's, while achieving comparable results, thereby freeing up time to pursue more enjoyable activities."

"After I graduated, I had a major surprise. My new employer offered me a job for fairly decent cash, and he never once
1. asked about my college;
2. asked to see my diploma.
Would he be paying me more if I'd gone to Yale or Harvard?"

"I know I could apply for a hundred jobs, each time claiming a different college as my alma mater, and never get caught. If nobody checks, how important can it be? [...] And what about those other hassles -- grade point average, attendance record, class rank? Meaningless. Corporate interviewers want to know if you can turn a profit for the company. They don't care how you did in Biology 101."

"But enough philosophy. In their way, your parents and teachers were right: If you want a well-salaried career, get a degree. The days when you could work your way up from the mail room to corporate mogul are long gone. [...] (The bad news: You wanna ride the train, you gotta have a ticket. The good news: Once you have it, nobody looks at it.)"

CHAPTER 2 -- HOW TO SELECT A SCHEDULE

Wake Up, Slacker
The Big Two
The Professor: For Real, or a Joker?
The Hours: Slacker's or Chump's?
Exact Same Class, or Pain in the ... ?
Attendance
Grading System: Straight or on a Curve?
Tests and Papers: Few or Many?
All Together Now: The Schedule Selection Checklist

"Most college students who fail to graduate are forced out of school after their first two semesters. (In my opinion, they're chumps. Anyone who flunks out after two semesters doesn't understand the system. What a shame. They'll end up pumping gas for the rest of us.) [...] The decisions you make at the beginning of each semester determine not only the amount of work your courses will require but also whether you get C's or A's in those courses." The strategic planning comes in two phases: registration and the drop-add period. Be sure to tell and not "ask" your advisor about your plans. Your goals as a slacker run counter to those of your advisor. Make sure you retain the position of "boss" of your own life. You want a "joker" for a professor who gives the "B" grade generously, not a "real deal" professor who actually expects you to achieve his mastery of the material. You will judge the professor in part on "inside information" from other slackers and also on the professor's stated attendance policy, grading system, and assignments. You will want to select class hours that best suit you within those limitations. Create a "Schedule Selection Checklist" based on these criteria.

CHAPTER 3 -- HELP!

The Rules
Who and How
"Bad" Students
Easy Does It

Slackers understand how to network well. Their greatest resources include office staff, librarians, campus security, "good" students, and even "bad" students (e.g. other slackers and some athletes). These "bad" students can serve as excellent resources for the "dirt" on professors.

CHAPTER 4 -- THE TEN-MINUTE TERM PAPER

Sound Familiar?
Ten-Minute Daydreams
Writing the Paper: A Case Study

The phrase "ten-minute term paper" means spending ten minutes here and ten minutes there from the start of the semester to begin sketching and outlining the term paper. "Every minute spent planning frees up twenty for recreation and sleep." The judicious use of quotes lifted and properly cited from source books allows the slacker to "pick and 'pop'" them throughout the paper to give it a feel of substance. Excellent proofreading to perfection seals the deal on the winning term paper.

CHAPTER 5 -- THE SCIENCE OF EXCUSES

When You're Screwed, Dude
SOE: The Science of Excuses
Basic SOE
Advanced SOE: The Soft Spot Technique

Expert slackers know how to fabricate convincing excuses and how to use a professor's "soft spot" to give an excuse great weight.

CHAPTER 6 -- ATTENDANCE -- DO YOU NEED IT?

Go or No?
Lessons from the Master
Tramps Like Us
The Slacker's Guide to Test Strategy

Making "win-win" contacts with classmates can allow you to skip classes without losing grade points, especially when you understand the best strategies for performing well on tests.

CHAPTER 7 -- ME? WORK?

The "J" Word
Delaying Tactics
Misconceptions
Slacker Jobs

Parents will sometimes demand that you work while at school to help with cash flow. After exhausting every credible delaying tactic, consider slacker jobs. These include: deli worker, computer room monitor, intramural sport referee, and recreational complex monitor. If you write well and enjoy it, consider hiring yourself to other students as a writer of term papers, relying on "word of mouth" advertising.

CHAPTER 8 -- THE PARTY PRINCIPLE

Party Time
What It All Means
Party Rules
Simplify Your Space
The Last Eviction

The strategies of this book grant you many extra hours per week to party. Conduct your parties in a fun but intelligent way. Simplify your living space so that you live nomadically and can move on a moment's notice, making sure you do not have your name on any lease or bill.

This book is hilarious and useful. My son, hardly the motivated to study type, has managed B's throughout his Freshman year at Penn State. He readily admits to using the strategies in this book and I can't help but laugh. His uncle bought him the book at a garage sale and it has saved us thousands of dollars. Hard to find additional copies to send as gifts which is the only downside with the book. This book warrants an immediate reprint.

It took me seven years, three universities and tens of thousands of dollars to figure out what Brady Lessard has 'distilled' in this tounge-in-cheek guide to college survival. Common sense, down-to-earth advice combined with strategies on working the system and making it work for you are covered in amusing style. Plenty of stories that made me say "I knew that guy when I was at school!"

This book nails down very topic that a college grad will confirm. (They'll all do so with a huge smile and lots of laughter also.) Mr. Lessard lets every reader know what the "Almighty College Degree" is all about. He lets you know about the secrets that grads learn after countless hours and hundreds, perhaps thousands, of dollars in wasted effort. My only wish is that the book came out years ago. It would have saved me from dozens of all night crams before finals. I would shake your hand if I could Mr. Lessard. You have done something that will save people lots of money. I look forward to any other "Life" advise you may have. It's truely refreshing to have something funny AND honest come to the public view. Thank you.

This book was fantastic! After spending thousands of dollars getting my first two kids through college in FIVE years, I have seen the light! This guy knows exactly what he's talking about and got my third son out of college early! I figure my $7.00 investment saved my wife and I over $15000.00 for an extra year of tuition, books, etc. Thank the author for me, it's brilliant!

Alot of the advise is tongue in cheek and the book is definetly written from a mans point of view. On the other hand, if you are open minded there is more good, practical advice in here for students starting out than anything else I have ever read!!! I have gotten copies for my young cousins who start this fall - both women!