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Jul 13 2007
A Hindu chaplain was called to offer a prayer at the US Senate yesterday; the response of some Christian nutbags was to slip in and disrupt the prayer because the Hindu chaplain wasn’t giving his shoutout to Jesus. They were trundled out, the prayer was given, and yet, somehow, the Republic did not fall. I think we can all thank Vishnu for that.
Look, this one is simple: Some people really and truly believe that what Jesus wants is for them to be dicks to everyone who isn’t their particular, mushy-headed stripe of Christian. And if it’s what Jesus wants, then it can’t be wrong. Now, I’m entirely sure that in their minds they can come up with a better explanation for their activities than "Jesus wants me to be a dick"—they may actually be able to find some internal calculus that has them being a dick out of love for us godless idolaters and saving our worthless heathen souls, even—but the rest of us can call it for what it is. And also, of course, when these Dicks for Jesus try to offer up some alternate explanation for their behavior, I think it’s fair to remind them of a number of things:
1. Whatever the rationale, they’re being dicks.
2. At no point in the Bible does Jesus say "be a dick in My name."
3. Lots of other Christians seem to get through life without feeling called upon to be a dick in the service of Christ.
4. Indeed, when many of these Christians discover to their dismay that they’ve been a dick about something, they will frequently fall to their knees and say, "Forgive me, Lord, for I have been a total dick."
5. And He does.
6. That’s a hint.
Now, the chances of any of this penetrating the mental shield of righteousness is pretty low, so you shouldn’t expect anything more than a slightly befuddled look that shades into the growing suspicion that they’re jeopardizing their very souls conversing with one such as you, you and your heathen logic. But it’s worth a try, and if it doesn’t work, at least they know what you think of their somewhat less-than-Christlike behavior. Because nothing digs at the heart of a Christdick more than the knowledge that someone thinks they’re doing their Christianity wrong. Gets ‘em all defensive and huffy, which is better than them being smug and self-righteous, in my book.
Excerpted from Your Hate Mail Will be Graded: A Decade of Whatever by John Scalzi.
Copyright 2008 by John Scalzi.
Published in 2008 by A Tom Doherty Associates Book.
All rights reserved. This work is protected under copyright laws and reproduction is strictly prohibited. Permission to reproduce the material in any manner or medium must be secured from the Publisher.
I had to snicker at each page turn for this book. Having been a fan of Scalzi for years, I know his expertise in Science Fiction well, but this book was unexpectedly different. Read morePublished 5 months ago by Angela K. Lacey
This is a collection of blog bloviation. The fact that I agree with most of it, and that the ideas are, for the most part, well expressed, doesn't change the nature of the beast -... Read morePublished 6 months ago by Robert Lombard
Consisting of well written and frequently humorous rants on a variety of topics, these short essays cover everything from corn dogs to religion. Mr. Read morePublished 11 months ago by Aaron Smith
Funny, insightful, and full of hilarious thoughts.
If you're looking for a good read: you've found it. Read more
Biting Wit and commentary in stream of thought fashion about as far from structured writing as you can get and still make sense.Published 12 months ago by Amazon Customer
Diehard John Scalzi fans already know about this book from their contributions to whatever.scalzi.com, but for the rest of us it is an eye-opener into the mind of a very skilled... Read morePublished 14 months ago by anonymous
I'm still going though it. I can't enjoy it if I go running from front to back.Published 14 months ago by Monica Beltrami-Carter
I have to admit something here, I haven't completed this book. It's long and it's made up of a bunch of blogs that John Scalzi has published since the previous millennium. Read morePublished 16 months ago by batman
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