Customer Reviews

Your Intercultural Marriage: A Guide to a Healthy, Happy Relationship

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When my husband and I started dating 12 years ago, I searched fastidiously for a book on intercultural marriage. I found two excellent ones: Intercultural Marriage by Dugan Romano and Mixed Matches by Joel Crohn. Both were informative, and helpful, but for us, they failed to offer perspective on one important piece - our common bond of faith. Marla Alupoaicei's new book Your Intercultural Marriage: a Guide to a Healthy, Happy Relationship seeks to fill this hole.

Your Intercultural Marriage seems best suited for young, Christian cross-cultural couples exploring the waters of intercultural marriage. It addresses topics such as engagement and weddings, communication skills, food, finances, and children. It is also full of movie and book recommendations, as well as lists of helpful questions to consider with a potential spouse. For a couple who has never before considered what dynamics might arise in an intercultural marriage, it is a thorough introduction to the concept. I will certainly be suggesting it to Christian college couples I know who are considering intercultural marriage.

That being said, I did have a few reservations. Being a bit further into an intercultural marriage, I did find myself longing for a deeper examination of the topic. While parts of it are well researched, organized, and written, the basic concepts (minus the Bible verses and Christian book rec's) have already been covered in Romano and Crohn's books. This isn't to say that there's no room for an update in the market, just that I didn't find anything particularly new in the book. In additional, parts of it feel contrived, stereotyped, and prescriptive. I also wish the publisher would have made it clearer that it is written for a Christian audience. If I were not a Christian, I'd find it a bit unfair to naively pick up a book of this sort only to be saturated with Bible verses and Christian language.

We've sorted through the dare-I-say `basic' issues and now wish we had more guidance in regards to less tangible struggles like isolation, integration, and surrender. However, seeing that I (married nine years w/two kids already) am not the primary target audience, I understand the spirit in which the book was written. Kudos to Alupoaicei for her contribution!

Not too long ago, our family was driving through town listening to music in our car. After several songs on our playlist, I realized that not one of them had been in English! We had sung songs in Romanian, Spanish, Italian, and Latin. It was then that I remembered, Oh yeah! We're a multicultural family.

When visiting Romania last year, Corina and I did a radio interview and were asked what it's like to have an international marriage. Our response? "It's the only marriage we've ever had. We don't know what to compare it to!"

Your Intercultural Marriage is written by an American woman married to a Romanian man. The book places intercultural marriage within an evangelical framework. To some degree, all marriages are inter-cultural, but some (like mine, I suppose) are more intercultural than others. Marla's book provides helpful suggestions in avoiding common cultural pitfalls.

My only disappointment with this book is its lack of emphasis on how an intercultural marriage spotlights the gospel. Of course, every marriage is intended to image the gospel. But intercultural couples, who sometimes feel disadvantaged, have an opportunity to shine light on the gospel in a unique way by bringing nation, tribe, and tongue together in one lifelong union.

I chose to take part in this review as a part of the Blog Tour Spot, because I thought it would be an interesting read and I was right. Although I don't have an intercultural marriage per say my husband and I do come from two very different backgrounds, he's as American as can be and I'm first generation Italian American. Alupoaicei's knowledge touches on subjects that can benefit any marriage that has religious, cultural, and race differences. Marla shares stories from her own marriage as well as those of others. Her advice includes issues such as, communicating, understanding each other's values, agreeing on food, managing finances, and raising children.


Not only does Marla explain four different types of Intercultural marriage, but she provides discussion questions for you and your partner and provides a wide range of resources for improving your marriage. I love that she includes at the end of every chapter movies to watch and quotes for reflection.

Early in the book Marla tells a story about her husband, who is from Romania, and an incident that happened at the library. The librarian asks him why he writes his 4's so funny and his answer was "Why do you?". Sometimes as Americans we think that our way is the "right" way, Marla points out that she realized neither way is the "right" way. It is only different. I had a moment of enlightenment in that story. This book is a must read in any intercultural marriage, but if you have a chance to pick it up as I did I think it will open up communication amongst friends as well.

Marla's easy writing style is inviting and her informative chapters will keep you reading. She provides a great wealth of information for Christians on intercultural marriage. I know this would be a great book to give to any of your newly wed friends or soon to be wed friends. Thanks Marla for providing an innovative and much needed resource for couples!

This book gives you a lot of insights about intercultural marriage based on the word of God. However, this book is not for Christians only, but also for non-Christians. It addresses the aspects that you normally forget to think of before you marry your loved ones such as: overcoming culture shock, deciding the place of living after wedding, finding agreement in culture differences on time, food, parenting, financial management, grieving, etc.

One thing I like about this book that it is concise and straight to the point. The writer seems to be helpful and pro-active in offering a help / marriage consultation since the writer sees this as her ministry.

This book is for you! Marla Alupoaicei provides an exceptional guide to healthy, happy relationships, regardless of your race. Born in Indiana, Marla shares insights from Scripture as well as her personal experience marrying her husband, Catalin from Romania. Even though she shares exciting and heart warming romantic stories, she also shares that relationships are not always built on feelings and emotions. Any marriage will have challenges, and Marla is authentic in sharing some of her struggles, but with God as the center, you can thrive and have a happy and exciting marriage even in the midst of cultural differences. Marla writes, "Sadly, I've met many intercultural couples who have built their marriages on sinking sand instead of cementing them to the solid foundation of God's Word. Like a little girl's sand castles, their homes are at risk toppling and being washed out to sea unless they discover the absolute importance of building their marriages on the Rock of Ages-Jesus Christ." This book provides real-life examples about dealing with finances, extended families and rearing children. For the single person, I enjoyed the practical advice on dating: "When you find the person you think is `the one.' Give yourself the seasons." Not only will you see how the person acts during each season of the year, but also how that person responds to challenges in the seasons of life (conflicts with friends or family, illness, the loss of job, a move, financial ups and downs and so on.) I recommend that this book would be used in your community group with discussion.

Marla has done an outstanding job of this book. I have only been married for three years and my wife and I are not really "intercultural" in the sense of hailing from two different countries. However, I am a Hispanic from San Antonio and my wife is Caucasian from Indiana! Nevertheless, this being the case, I thought the book was extremely helpful in understanding the differences in variety of marriage backgrounds, including my own. Many of the subjects dealt with in this book (e.g., communication, understanding each other's values) I found insightful and very practical. I definitely recommend this book to anyone seeking to understand their marriage differences (whether ethnic, cultural, or just "ways of thinking") and desires to make life-enduring improvements.

I think that Your Intercultural Marriage is a good book - for the niche that the author, Marla Alupoaicei, is trying to serve: Christian intercultural couples. With over half of the pages mentioning Christianity, the Bible, or God, little ol' atheist me am not part of the target audience. Nonetheless, I did enjoy the book, and I found useful material in here that I believe could appeal to anyone. I'd highly recommend the book to any Christian intercultural couple whose faith is a large part of their lives. For the more general intercultural couples, this book would not be among my top selections but it's worth a pick-up if you see it in your local library, or if you're comfortable picking and choosing from what's written to find valuable information for your situation.

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Marla Alupoaicei's book, "Your Intercultural Marriage," is an amazing compilation of information.
Each chapter title deals with a different topic that an intercultural marriage couple might face. Examples are: "Managing Your Finances" and "Preparing for a Lifetime of Success."
Each chapter contains touching illustrations of other couples' experiences and practical guidelines geared to each topic.
I would recommend this book for anyone considering an intercultural marriage, any family with a member of a different culture, or anyone anticipating marriage.

You love the person, but can you love the culture? "Your Intercultural Marriage: A Guide to a Healthy, Happy Relationship" discusses marriages across the cultural divide and discusses the conflicts that may arise from everything from the wedding to raising the children, family expectations, to even possible bedroom problems. With a Christian viewpoint, "Your Intercultural Marriage" offers sage wisdom that is worth considering for those in love with someone not like them.