Customer Reviews

Not Your Mother's Divorce: A Practical, Girlfriend-to-Girlfriend Guide to Surviving the End of a Young Marriage

5 star:		(16)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(0)
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1 star:		(2)

 

 

At 32 years old, I'm the first one of my friends to go through a divorce (after 5 years of marriage), and while my girlfriends were tremedously supportive of me, none of them have ever gone through something like this and there are some things that only someone who has survived a divorce can understand. This book was like an old friend, comforting me, guiding me through the process, assuring me that everything I was feeling was normal and to be expected. A year later, it still sits on my nightstand, battered and highlighted in yellow marker, being read and re-read whenever I need support. Of course, this book is not substitute for therapy, but I don't think I could have gotten through this past year without it. I would recommend this book to ANYONE going through a divorce. I've also seen some reviews on here by someone who finds the book to be "pro-divorce", and that is not the case at all. The authors merely acknowledge the fact that divorces happen, provide comfort and advice without passing judgement on the how and why, and help those of us who are going through the process to make the best of the situation and feel somewhat hopeful about our futures.

This book is not for people who are not sure whether they want a divorce. It will not suggest that you work harder on your marriage, and it will not tell you that you are making a mistake. It will also not give helpful advice on how to save a marriage. I think the title should be sufficient warning of its target audience.
That said, it is a completely unique book that allows a young, childless woman going thorough divorce to feel that she is not alone. It gave me hope that I might someday be happy again. As someone who had been repeatedly lied to and betrayed by a husband who had been given countless "second chances," I was not interested in hearing that I should try harder to save the marriage.
Well written by intelligent, educated women who had been through divorce themselves, the book really does sound like the advice of a close girlfriend. This book was a life-saver for me.

I went to the bookstore to pick up a book on divorce - what I found was books that were either very heavy on the legal end or books for women with children. There was nothing out there for books for 20/30 somethings going through a divorce within the first 5 years -that spoke to me, not my mother. Someone recommended this book and I ordered it within the first 3 weeks after the big break-up. I was looking for something that spoke to me, in a girlfriend type of tone, not a preaching tone and this was PERFECT. It took me through what to expect in the beginning, the cycle of what would happen, how to tell people (or not tell people), and what to expect. It had great vignettes within it that illustrated situations similar to what I was going through and served as a general companion that helped me get through the healing process in the first six months. It was exactly what I needed. I would strongly recommend this to someone in their 20s/30s, first marriage, no kids - its right in-line with the chick lit out there and laughs and cries with you. Without this, I don't think I could have handled everything as well as I have. A must read over all the other books on the subject out there!

Not even 30 and struggling with ending my marriage only 3 months old has left me with a myriad of feelings. Coming from a family of divorce I obviously did NOT want to go down the same path. Not Your Mother's Divorce has shown me that I'm not alone in what I am about to go through and in "real world" terms. I found that other books tend to focus on bitter custody battles and how to cope as a single mom- neither of which applies to me or anyone else going through a "starter marriage". Moffett & Touborg give a perspective that I could completely relate to - reading this book is like having my best girlfriend sitting next to me encouraging me that what I'm about to go through will only make me stronger and that I WILL in fact survive and be better off for it and a MUCH happier person! I can hardly wait! I can only say that I am grateful to have read this book at this point in my life. I've learned a lot about myself, what went wrong in my marriage (before we got married!) and this book will with out a doubt help me face the world as a delightful divorcee!

LOVED this book. I wasn't sure if it was what I was looking for, but as soon as I started it, I couldn't put it down. As a soon to be divorcee in my late twenties, this book was really something I could relate too. The authors understand what you are going through and really give you hope for the future. I'm already halfway through re-reading it for the second time, and it won't be the last.
The only thing that was missing from this book is that it is written for women without children. It would be great if they had a section for us young mothers too. Other than that I loved the book.

Even though I have not been married, this book was truly insightful, providing helpful advice to navigate emotional hills and valleys when facing the end of any relationship. As I ended my engagement, I appreciated the lack of maudlin prose and being able to turn to the authors' comfort, sass and wisdom that was available as a resource at all hours of the night (and far less fattening than Ben and Jerry's)! A must read!

Although we'd been together 8+ years, I was still only 30 when we split, and had no idea how to handle some of the situations and most of the feelings. No kids, just lives and 'things' shared, etc.. This book was tremendously helpful when the decision was made and the 'now what' portion of the split started. The best part was--a year-plus later when I was hitting a critical but tricky new phase of moving on--I remembered some of the things I'd been thinking about lately and going through were mentioned in the later chapters of the book (all good things, but things new nonetheless!). Even though they weren't very applicable at the time (I couldn't see past the current state of feelings to imagine a time when it wouldn't royally suck), more than a year later I re-read those chapters (and earlier ones, too), and realized not only what a valuable book this was at the time, but still is today. Highly recommended, and a great gift to girlfriends going through the same situation (post decision). You couldn't say it any better, and they'll thank you for the support.

I found this book incredibly interesting, insightful, and thought-provoking. I think it's very important to think actively about what contributes to positive/negative vibes in any close relationship and this book really helped me do that, even as a happily married woman! I am recommending this book not only to friends in troubled relationships/marriages but also to many single friends who have recently entered serious relationships - the first chapter really should be required reading for life for everyone, full stop. I urge a purchase, you won't be disappointed.

A friend had referred this book to me as I was just getting over a bad marriage. And I'm glad she did!! As a young divorcee, I couldn't find any resources to help me get through my divorce. The authors did a wonderful job of providing practical advice in a way that makes sense to my generation of divorcees (especially the chapter on dating again!!). I recommend this book to any young, modern woman in a similar situation!!

This book was so helpful when I was going through my divorce. I encouraged my family & close friends to read it so they could get a better understanding of some of the challenges I faced. The book is well thought-out, compassionate, hip and humorous. Chapter ten will lift your spirits. Cheers!!!