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Your Movie Sucks [Kindle Edition]

Roger Ebert
4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (64 customer reviews)

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Book Description

From Roger's review of Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo (0 stars): "The movie created a spot of controversy in February 2005. According to a story by Larry Carroll of MTV News, Rob Schneider took offense when Patrick Goldstein of the Los Angeles Times listed this year's Best Picture nominees and wrote that they were 'ignored, unloved, and turned down flat by most of the same studios that . . . bankroll hundreds of sequels, including a follow-up to Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo, a film that was sadly overlooked at Oscar time because apparently nobody had the foresight to invent a category for Best Running Penis Joke Delivered by a Third-Rate Comic.'

"Schneider retaliated by attacking Goldstein in full-page ads in Daily Variety and the Hollywood Reporter. In an open letter to Goldstein, Schneider wrote: 'Well, Mr. Goldstein, I decided to do some research to find out what awards you have won. I went online and found that you have won nothing. Absolutely nothing. No journalistic awards of any kind. . . . Maybe you didn't win a Pulitzer Prize because they haven't invented a category for Best Third-Rate, Unfunny Pompous Reporter Who's Never Been Acknowledged by His Peers. . . .'

"Schneider was nominated for a 2000 Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor, but lost to Jar-Jar Binks. But Schneider is correct, and Patrick Goldstein has not yet won a Pulitzer Prize. Therefore, Goldstein is not qualified to complain that Columbia financed Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo while passing on the opportunity to participate in Million Dollar Baby, Ray, The Aviator, Sideways, and Finding Neverland. As chance would have it, I have won the Pulitzer Prize, and so I am qualified. Speaking in my official capacity as a Pulitzer Prize winner, Mr. Schneider, your movie sucks."

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Roger Ebert is the Pulitzer Prize-winning film critic from the Chicago Sun-Times. His reviews are syndicated to more than 200 newspapers in the United States and Canada. The American Film Institute and the School of the Art Institute of Chicago have awarded him honorary degrees, and the Online Film Critics Society named his Web site,, the best online movie-review site.

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236 of 241 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Ebert Defines Wit June 9, 2007
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
"I Hated, Hated, Hated This Movie" has been a perennial favorite book of mine for years. "Your Movie Sucks" is in the same genre, and is as witty as Ebert has ever been. The book is essentially a collection of sub-two star reviews from the last few years, and is both enlightening and funny.

I am a devoted fan of camp, and some of the films in this book sound as if they will definitely fall into that arena. For those of us who value movies so bad they're good, parts of this book read like a shopping list. I am embarrassed to admit that I have seen several of these features, and in each instance of encountering a film I had seen Ebert was both accurate and amusing: his edicts were unerring and frequently hilarious. Fortunately, Ebert not only displays wit, but also good judgment: some of the films in this book are so awful, despair laden, and dark (e.g. "Wolf Creek") as to inspire only genuine loathing. I appreciate that Ebert makes it clear that there some movies so bad as to not be enjoyable on any plane.

These reviews are informative in another way: they inspire critical thinking about films and specifically about what makes a film bad or good. To be sure there are times in the past that I have disagreed with Ebert, and I'm sure if I sat through all the refuse that is this subject of this book, I would find something to disagree with him about here too. Having said all that, regarding the movies I have seen, including the utterly wretched "Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo" which serves as an introduction to the book in one of Ebert's strongest efforts, and "Corky Romano" which I saw in Iceland with Icelandic subtitles (the subtitles were by far more amusing than the movie) Ebert is squarely on target and more generous in his appraisal than I would have been.

This is a great book, and I encourage anyone who loves movies (bad or good) to read it and cherish it.

Thanks, Roger.
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225 of 233 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars I Love Love Love these books April 10, 2007
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
For years I've wondered if Roger Ebert was going to release another collection of reviews of movies he hated hated hated. Along came "Your Movie Sucks". Ebert has always said that he'd rather enjoy a movie than not enjoy it. "Your Movie Sucks" is over 300 pages of reviews of movies that Ebert had to sit through, and didn't enjoy. Good thing for us, because his reviews of bad movies are entertaining to read. If we tend to watch a film based on a positive review, why do we want to rent films that get hysterically-bad reviews that much more? When "The Village" was originally released in theaters, Ebert's review got me looking online for spoilers to the movie's ending because I was so curious as to what he was referring to. I saved that review (among others) into a document on my computer. Now that "Your Movie Sucks" has been released, I have dozens of my favorite writings by Ebert in a book. One curious omission to "Your Movie Sucks" is "Life of David Gale", which became one of Ebert's most famous and controversial reviews, simply because of the film's last shot. One day I'd like a DVD to be released of Ebert's best moments with both Siskel, and Roeper. Until then, here is another book of reviews that will make you laugh laugh laugh!
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132 of 135 people found the following review helpful
It used to be true that a "thumbs down" review for a particular movie by Siskel and Ebert was enough to make me want to see it. And often enough I would enjoy a movie for the very reasons that Ebert hated it, or it would seem to me that he simply could not think beyond his rigid preconceptions about what made an enjoyable movie.

Oddly, though, as I grow older I find myself agreeing more and more often with his assessment of what makes a given movie worthwhile, especially when it comes to the current crop of high concept would-be blockbusters, brain-dead romantic comedies,empty CGI fests and music videos pretending to be feature length films. So am I growing smarter, or is he??

But in any case, one thing was never in doubt - Ebert knows how a write a truly striking review...especially when he thinks a movie sucks. The prose here is to die for - he neatly skewers target after target with epigrammatic precision that would make William F. Buckley or Christopher Hitchens smile in admiration. I kept wanting to call friends up and share especially mordant and snarky passages from YMS with them, but I realized that I soon would exhaust their patience, since I'd be reading practically the entire book, line by line, over the phone. I kept wanting to underline really good quotable passages with a yellow underliner, but I soon saw that the book would soon have more yellow than white.

Etc. If you are a fan of movies, and if you enjoy good writing and well thought out critical analysis that might expand your understanding of storytelling, literature and film, get this book. Even if you disagree with his ratings, you'll learn a lot about why you love movies.
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26 of 26 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars This Book Rocks! September 8, 2007
You gotta respect someone that sits through an average of 500 films a year, especially when a huge chunk of those are absolutely dreadful. And when that someone is film critic Roger Ebert you also need to pay attention to what he has to say. As his former reviewing partner, the late Gene Siskel, once stated on The Tonight Show, they watch the good, bad, the mediocre and all the Friday the 13th movies, so they know what they're talking about.

"Some of these reviews were written in joyous zeal. Others with glee. Some in sorrow, some in anger, and a precious few with venom, of which I have a closely guarded supply", Ebert states in the introduction to Your Movie Sucks. This isn't the first time that he's gone to that well: I Hated, Hated, Hated, This Movie (2000)--its title taken from Ebert's review of director Rob Reiner's North (1994)--was his first collection of movie reviews with a rating of one and a half stars or less. The full-on skewering continues on Your Movie Sucks and it sure is fun.

Before jumping into the 175 film reviews from this decade compiled in alphabetical order, Ebert singles out three of them for the book's prologue:

- Deuce Bigelow: European Gigolo (2005), sequel to the contemptible Deuce Bigelow: Male Gigolo (1999). The last three words of the former's review give this book its title and is the funny one among the three in this prologue.

- Chaos (2005), which its producers billed as "the most brutal, horrifying movie ever made" and engage Ebert in an open letter discussion of the movie's merits. "...Ugly, nihilistic, and cruel--a film I regret having seen." A sobering review and exchange.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars Ebert never fails to entertain
I could read Roger Ebert's reviews just for the joy of experiencing excellent writing. He seems to do it do effortlessly, yet his words jump off the page. Read more
Published 1 month ago by J. Tennant
4.0 out of 5 stars I would hate to have to see some of these movies
I would hate to have to see some of these movies! But I'm glad Roger did, and wrote about them so that I wouldn't have to waste my money. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Shirley J. Twogood
5.0 out of 5 stars Very entertaining!
My boyfriend loved it and I look forward to reading it myself. Ebert's reviews were hilarious and spot on.
Published 2 months ago by CJ_Vand78
4.0 out of 5 stars Four Stars
Love reading his opinions even when i dont agree with what he is saying.
Published 2 months ago by L. Collins
5.0 out of 5 stars Look at the movie titles first
I gave it five stars because the few movies in the book I had actually seen were great fun to read about and pretty much on the nose. Read more
Published 3 months ago by Zaphod Beeblebrox
4.0 out of 5 stars I love Roger
I love Roger Ebert. I love his reviews, and I love how much HE loves movies. This is another round of scathing reviews of movies he didn't care for. Read more
Published 9 months ago by KLR
1.0 out of 5 stars Your Book Sucks
Read the liner notes and that's about all you need to read. The highlight of the book is the exchange with Rob Schneider, which is spelled out immediately. Read more
Published 11 months ago by Patrick Cirillo
5.0 out of 5 stars A Lasting Legacy
An entertaining read from a cinema legend. As one of the last truly great film reviewers, he is surely missed.
Published 13 months ago by Jessica
5.0 out of 5 stars Roger Ebert rocks in this book giving candid (and very funny)...
Ebert was one of our finest movie critics--in this book and the others he's written in this area, he is witty and funny and passionate in his love for the movies, even as he... Read more
Published 13 months ago by Duncan Brown
3.0 out of 5 stars Finding out about what Ebert thought were the worst movies ever is...
This book is organized in alphabetical order by movie title. There is no over-arching description of how the bad movies relate to each other, which is too bad because although a... Read more
Published 14 months ago by Richard Frantz Jr.
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More About the Author

Roger Ebert is the Pulitzer Prize-winning film critic from the Chicago Sun-Times. His reviews are syndicated to more than 200 newspapers in the United States and Canada. The American Film Institute and the School of the Art Institute of Chicago have awarded him honorary degrees and the Online Film Critics Society named his Web site ( the best online movie review site

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