Customer Reviews

On Your Own Again

5 star:		(5)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

I read this book when it was recommended by my therapist, after I had realized I was permanently seperated from my wife. I found I read this book in two stages. The first stage, when I fully understood that I truly was on my own again, I was able to read and appreciate roughly the first half. I found interesting insights into the day to day process of adjusting to the reality of having my marriage end, and now dealing with the crush of details demanding attention. After a few months break, I found myself diving in to read the rest of the book, and finding how closely my own life was following the path described in the book. This book is not a how-to guide to divorce or seperation. It IS a tool to help understand the emotions you are experiencing, the panic, the feeling that you are where no one else has ever been. And, it has helped me to understand that there are things that I miss and desire, but whose time has yet to come. I hope others will find similar benefits in this book. My only complaint is that at a time of such great stress, including the major financial uncertainty involved in seperation and divorce, it seemed a bit expensive for less content than I had hoped. This only served to make me think twice when this book should be a no-brainer.

This is a wonderful book with words of comfort and patience that are as up-to-date as any thing else out there. This author writes from the point of view of a therapist AND a person who has been there himself. He does not seek to explain the why of a breakup...but rather how to move on. I found the section on the most common mistakes people get into in the acute stage of breakup wonderfully "right on time." While this book focuses heavily on marriage and heterosexual relationships, I think anyone just out of a committed relationship will find it helpful.

Interestingly, most books on the subject of dealing with the aftermath of separation and divorce are aimed towards a female audience. Of all the titles I browsed, this was one that struck me as non gender specific. In purchasing the book and reading it, I found that the book was wonderfully applicable to both men and women.
Personally, I gained a great deal of insight into the things I have been experiencing since my wife announced that she wanted to separate. I started to read the book feeling that I was the only one in the world in a similar situation that was feeling the things that I was feeling. Very early into the book, I found that not only was it true that others were feeling these very same things but that these feelings were actually normal.
I took great comfort in being able to place myself in the process that the book describes. I also derived certain comfort in the knowledge of what is to come as I continue through the process. After all, if the author has defined the parts of the process I have experienced in such a correct manner, is it not logical to assume that the remainder of the process will be much as he has described in the book?
Without reservation I can say that this book has helped. It is informative, insightful and full of very true observations. If you need to come to grips with the things that are associated with being suddenly on your own as the result of divorce and separation, this book will most assuredly assist you.

Going through a separation/divorce right now myself, I was recommended 'On Your Own Again: The Down-to-Earth Guide to Getting Through a Divorce or Separation and Getting on with Your Life' by a friend. She said that it was well worth reading and helped her when her own engagement broke off. I took the book and planned on reading it but never expected that I would be so GLUED to the contents like I was. This is the rare kind of book that I will read multiple times for so many reasons. From the feelings of being alone again to missing your kids to financial woes to how to move on with your life, this book is a guide that should be read, appreciated, and FOLLOWED. The writing is taut and easy with no heavy psychological terms or examples. Case studies are relevant and helpful to make you feel like you aren't the only person that has gone through this before. The book is short but long enough to drive the point home. For all therapists that are working with people in this situation they should have stacks of this book to give out to patients. I have found this to be one of the most helpful books I have ever read and many parts of the book made me smile during these tough times. The only thing that is the "cure" for these kinds of things is time, but knowing there are others that can relate and understand makes the experience easier.

***** HIGHEST POSSIBLE RECOMMENDATION

When I decided to break off the relationship with my partner, it was truly the most difficult decision of my life - emotional, heartbreaking, and gut-wrenching. The worst part was feeling the guilt of knowing I had shattered someone else's heart. This book was an excellent way to begin the journey to healing for myself, through understanding what I need to do to prepare myself for the road ahead -- whether alone or coupled. My only disappointment is that while this book did mention that it was targeted equally to couples separating, regardless of who did the deed, the stories clearly focused on the difficult time of those who had their partners leave them, rather than on those who had difficulty coping with a decision they had made to end their relationship. Overall, however, a fantastic tool for those going through a separation or divorce.

The book provides useful insights which inturn helped me in many ways for handling through my separation and divorse. This book provides great guidance for someone going through the tough times.

This book ultimately saved me. It confirmed that all the pain I felt following the breakdown of my marriage was normal. So many books are written only from a women's point of view, but this deals with you, the reader, as a person. There are plenty of case studies of people in different situation that helped me relate, and the author himself went through a divorce, so he definately understands. The book helped ground me into knowing that what I was going through was because I cared and wasa sensative person. There is no judgement and excellent advice on how to handle (or not to handle) difficult situation. I strongly recommend this book to anyone feeling alone, isolated and pressurized by the affects of a relationship split. It takes you through all the steps of what you may have felt and are going to feel: A great book!!

My boyfriend recently broke up with me and broke my heart in a second.I'm 27 years old and never felt like this before. I searched and bought many books trying to find a way to make me feel better and find answers to the tones of questions and ifs that were bothering my mind.This book didn't help me a lot. The writing feels distant and it is difficult to see the author as a friend or at least as someone close to you and your feelings.It can be useful only if you were married and now divorced but not if you had a relationship and lived separately.It has a lot of chapters concerning how to raise your children after a divorce or how to split the money and the invstments, things that can't concern people who had a serious relationship,who loved the other very much but who haven't been married or lived together for a long time.Also I found its advice old-fashioned and out of date.