Customer Reviews

On Your Own: A Widow's Passage to Emotional & Financial Well-Being

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I purchased this book five years ago from Ms. Armstrong at a NAIC Congress in Florida. At the time I purchased it as a reference for my investment club's library. With 21 women in the M & D Investment Club I figured someone would need it sometime. I have skimmed it occasionally through the years but when I recently become widowed it was the first book I brought out. Ms. Armstrong has literally saved me much time and grief in trying to figure out what to do next. There is no time of greater confusion and despair than at the sudden and unexpected loss of a beloved spouse. When I can read this book gives me something to do or think about. The suggestions for organization are excellent and will allow me to make informed descisions instead of emotional decisions. While I did not expect to be the recipient of her wisdom I am grateful for it. I highly recommend it for all women, married, single, divorced or involved in any relationship that has financial involvement. We can't afford to not know how to best proceed with our financial future.

As a financial planner specializing in Wealth Preservation Planning, one aspect of my practice is providing life insurance, when appropriate. As a result, part of my job involves the delivery of death claim checks to widows. Unfortunately, many of them have never had the opportunity to deal with family finances or budgeting - but are suddenly thrown into a situation where they must assume that responsibility. It comes at a time of great instability and disruption.

"On Your Own" by Alexandra Armstrong and Mary R. Donahue deals sensitively with both the emotional and financial issues of widowhood, and provides guidance for both - with compassion and authoritative wisdom. It provides comfort and knowledge in a clever structure which allows the reader to review applications of each chapter's information in one of several optional formats, based upon her individual set of circumstances (young with children, elderly, etc.)

I am so impressed with the book that I give it to each of the beneficiaries to whom I deliver a death claim check. The thank you notes I have received have provided a wonderful reward for sharing this valuable information.

Even though this book was written with widows in mind I found it a thorougly useful and informative work about investing. I am in my late twenties and have a young child. I found that this book was written in a way that made it accessible to me, as I am new to investing and all things financial! The book really made me understand how I should be planning out my financial future. My understanding was helped by the fact that this book was written by two women; I was able to relate to it on a financial and emotional level.

I am a certified financial planner and use this book often with newly widowed persons - both professionally and personally. It is well written - easy for the novice to follow - and thorough. Despite the basic approach, the book is well researched and gives competent general advice. I have actually given it to some clients who are not widowed but need the general information the book contains.

For all who have ever asked "What do I do now?" or "Who can help me with...?" I recommend "On Your Own". Like earlier editions, this is a sensitive and insightful resource for those who have recently experienced (or are preparing to experience) the loss of a spouse. In a highly readable and usable style the authors lead the reader through important topics often thought to be too intimidating or too confusing for someone wrought with fear and sadness.

"On Your Own" is a well written, very informative book. The authors are able to cover specific financial, legal and emotional issues without being too wordy or losing the average reader in technical jargon. The content is applicable to widows of all ages and financial situations.

I keep multiple copies in my office as gifts for any recently widowed individuals I meet.

I am a male, full-time engineer and part-time financial planner. I bought this book because I am helping a 2nd widow get her financial house in order (first widow was my mother-in-law, 2nd is my mother). I plan on becoming a full time financial planner as soon as I retire from my engineering job, and thought this book might be helpful for understanding the way widows think (since the book is written by two women).

I found the book covered pretty much the subjects I have already encountered helping two widows get their financial house in order. In both of my two cases, the women were both surprised at the large amount of paperwork that needs to be completed.....and the book mentions this as well.

One thing I was personally not that familiar with is the probate process. The first widow I helped did not have to go through probate. The assets were jointly owned with rights of survivorship and probate was not required. The 2nd case does require probate because land in the husband's name only is involved. I am just getting familiar with the probate process.......the first document the court issues is a Letters of Appointment specifying the widow is the executor. The book covers this point well.

The book recommends the widow have at least 1 times (1X) net worth as an umbrella insurance policy. Most financial planning guidelines recommend between 1X and 2X times net worth for the umbrella policy. Umbrella policies are so relatively cheap; I recommend the 2X net worth guideline.

The book gives a guideline of being in at least the 28% tax bracket before considering municipal bonds as an investment. In general, municipal bonds or municipal bond funds are for people in higher tax brackets. I would recommend the widow have her financial advisor run some scenarios for her specific case.....including the impact on state and federal taxes...before buying municipal bonds or municipal bond funds.

The book repeats the age-old advice of not making any major changes or decisions for the first 6 months after the husband's death.

One fact I was not aware of is that widows wait to find the right new mate......whereas widowers often find a new mate very quickly........but often the widowers new relationship does not last long.

I can't really find fault with any of the general financial planning advice given in the book. The only area I disagree is with using actively managed mutual funds with good track records versus low cost index funds. There is not statistical data I know of which indicates investors can select actively managed funds that will outperform index funds over long periods of time. In fact the historical data says index funds always outperform actively managed funds over long periods of time........primarily because the annual expense ratios are much higher for actively managed funds.

I like the use of four fictitious widows......who are tracked from the husband's death until 3 years and 10 years afterwards. It points out that the widow goes through a multi-year adjustment process after the husband's death. I believe this technique of introducing fictional characters to explain something in narrative style is called creative nonfiction.

All-in-all, an excellent guidebook for widows. I plan on giving a copy of my mother, who was recently widowed. Once I start doing financial planning full-time in a couple of years, I may give each widow customer a copy of the book as well.

For more information about index fund investing, I would recommend either The Bogleheads Guide to Investing, or The Bogleheads Guide to Retirement Investing.