Customer Reviews

Your Second Child: A Guide for Parents

5 star:		(2)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

I got this book yesterday and I am considering returning it today. I have read the first 130 pages or so and find the overall tone to be very pessimistic and gloomy. The author's style is to first present you with some disheartening statistics and then to follow these not with strategies that will help you avoid the same scenerio, but with near platitudes. She seems to be saying that since 90% of parents in study X were less verbal, less attentive, less enthusiastic, less smiley, less EVERYTHING with their second borns, then the rest of us are exteremly likely to follow suit. As a former sociology major, I find the statistics interesting, but I bought the book looking for a parenting guide to help me avoid some of the pitfalls of parenting a second born, not as a review of reseach findings. This book should not be listed in the parenting section, it is more suited to the pop sociology/psychology section. I did glance over a small section where the auhor tried to offer some advice in how to avoid the gloomy second rate parenting we are aparently doomed to repeat, but like another reviewer I found the advice to be common sense and simplistic. If, like most of us, you are looking for encouragement for parenting the second time around; if you want to learn about the *successes* of other parents; if you would like some optimism with your statistics, then this book is not for you. I already knew that being second born is sometimes a disadvantage, and I don't need statistics to prove it to me because I am a second born. In my opinion there are only two reasons to invest in this book: 1) you're unaware of the way second children can have a totally different rearing experience with the same parents of the first born, and you need some enlightenment (forewarned is sometimes forearmed) or 2)you are the type who enjoys being motivated by fear, then read to your heart's content. Incidentally, I found her descriptions of first time parents as over-bearing, and over-the-top to be cartoonish, laughable, and insulting. I came away with the sense that the author doesn't expect her audience to be very insightful about their own behavior. ~L.W.Brossette

I'm pregnant with my second and was looking forward to lots of practical advice about preparing my toddler, myself, and my husband for the new arrival. I found the section on when and how to tell the first child about the new baby was totally inadequate. It doesn't address different ages at all - yet there must be a difference in when and how you present the information to an 18 month old, a three year old, or a four year old. The book was packed with anxiety-provoking scenarios of resentful and frustrated children and parents, unhelpful observations (some parents do this random thing, some parents do that random thing), and ridiculously obvious advice (have two children to lug around? Consider a double stroller - wow, I wouldn't have thought of that on my own!). I found it to be a waste of time. I'm reading Siblings without Rivalry, now. It's much more focused and useful.

One can only hope the children of this author do not pick up and read this book any time soon. They will be so disheartened to hear how unhappy their mother was with having a second child. I read Ms. Weiss' book with the continued hope of hearing the positive side of having more than one child. Apparently in her eyes, there isn't one.

There is a lot of practical and positive advice out there. Not to say this journey in parenthood is easy, but it is definitely not as joyless as the author would have you think

We were expecting our second child and both of us read this book. It provided some good advice on both the psychological issues faced by each member of the family and the pragmatic ones as well. It also highlighted how pregnancy can be very different from an emotional/psychological point of view than it was the first time. Highly recommended reading. I've been buying it as a gift for expectant friends.

This book was extremely disappointing. I am pregnant with my second child and I purchased this book looking for a way to introduce our second child into my first childs life, and into our new family. I found this book caused me more anxiety than answered my questions. I dont feel that this is an accurate view of how life with a second child would be. I do not recommend this book and agree with several of the other reviews, this book is very gloomy at a time when you should be looking forward to the growth of your family.

I have read the first 3 chapters (110 pages) of this book - and am going to pack it away in the back of my closet. I am pregnant with my second, and was hoping for advice on how/when to introduce the idea to my daughter...practical advice for moving her out of the crib and into a new room...etc. I cannot speak for the whole book, but the first three chapters pretty much consist of stories of how you are ruining your first-born's life by having another. It was not practical, not enjoyable to read, and has only made me more anxious than I need to be.

This book was extremely helpful to me in clarifyingwhether I wanted to have a second child. Theauthor cites many different studies on birth order and parenting, even when the results conflict, because there is no particular agenda to this book. I appreciate the author's willingness to allow the readers to sift through the information and make up their OWN minds. I am going to lend this book to a lot of my friends!