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Your Self-Confident Baby: How to Encourage Your Child's Natural Abilities -- From the Very Start Paperback – February, 2012


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Your Self-Confident Baby: How to Encourage Your Child's Natural Abilities -- From the Very Start + Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting + No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline Without Shame
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 256 pages
  • Publisher: Wiley (February 2012)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1118158792
  • ISBN-13: 978-1118158791
  • Product Dimensions: 5.9 x 0.7 x 8.9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 10.7 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (57 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #39,464 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review

Excellent ideas for fostering closeness and healthy independence... easy to browse format of anecdotes and information arranged in chronological order. -- Children's Literature, 1998, by Deborah Zink Roffino

Readers will find plenty of wisdom and common sense on these pages. -- Publisher's Weekly, January 1998

This book gave me a practical guide to giving my children enough room... has been an amazing resource for me. -- O, Oprah's Magazine, May 2005, by Felicity Huffman --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From the Publisher

Here is the "RIE" method, the increasingly popular, common-sense approach to child-raising, created by a renowned infant specialist and founder of Resources for Infant Educarers. Explains how to use observation as the main tool for growth and learning, when to intervene and when to encourage independence, how to connect with a baby through daily tasks, and how to build trust, endurance and optimism in a child. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Customer Reviews

The book is very well written, easy to read, and well organized.
Mark Twain?
This book helped me relax and realize that my child will do things when HE is ready and that I can't make him crawl or walk, etc.
Marie Ortman
I must have read a few dozen parenting books by now, but this one still has new insights worth reading.
Ivy

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

130 of 131 people found the following review helpful By Ivy on December 5, 2011
Format: Paperback
I literally couldn't put this book down when I received it. I must have read a few dozen parenting books by now, but this one still has new insights worth reading. However, as an attachment parent, I disagree with several points.

Here are the main points that I found to be useful:

1. Have respect for the baby. He is a person, not a pet. If you need to do something to him,
let him know (now it's time to change your diaper....). This is similar to how a doctor talks you through a procedure beforehand so that you prepare for it mentally. I must say that these ideas are not entirely novel. Writings of Maria Montessori advocate respect for the child (see for example Secret of Childhood. Also, talking to your baby about what's going on is suggested by Bright from the Start: The Simple, Science-Backed Way to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mindfrom Birth to Age 3. I can't remember where else I read about asking for permission from non-verbal babies (e.g. "Would you like me to pick you up now?") but I liked the idea, and has worked for me and my 2-year old. As a child what I hated most was relatives kissing and pinching my cheeks when I did not want that. My boy knows he has a choice in things that involve his body - he is not my property.

2. Crying is not the end of the world. I am one of those parents who feels like I have been stabbed in between my shoulders when my baby cries. I have, over time, figured out what different cries mean, and have relaxed. I still, however, immediately pick up my child when the cry is genuine (hurt, tired, etc.
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64 of 66 people found the following review helpful By J. Hayles on April 15, 2003
Format: Paperback
This book explores the "proper" method to raise a child who is self-confident and respectful. I know there is no "right" way to raise a child but I feel the more informed I am the better my decisions will be. This book employs a philisophy the author terms RIE (pronounce WRY)-Resources for Infant Educarers. RIE adheres to the following principles:
* Basic trust in the child to be an initiator, an explorer, and a self-learner
* Time for uninterrupted play
* An environmnet for the child that is physically safe, cognitively challenging, and emotionally nurturing
* Involvement of the child in all caregiving activities to allow it to become an active participant rather than a passive recipient
* Sensitive observation of the child in order to understand her needs
* Consistency and clearly defined limits and expectations to develop discipline
A couple of examples given in the book covers getting your child to sleep and communication. RIE recommends that you always put your child to bed awake. Why? Babies are aware of their surroundings. If a baby is lying in the living room and wakes up in a bed, it is confusing for the child. Another example is talking to your child. When you are going to change a diaper, it's recommended that you communicate this to your child and ask for her cooperation. This allows the child the opportunity to process this information and prepare for the activity as well as enable them to become a participant rather than a recipient.
I finished this book and found it extremely illuminating. For me, the things that stood out (i.e., things I didn't think about while around babies) are:
* Talk to the Baby, not about it
* Treat the Baby as a person not as an object. They have feelings and those feelings should be respected.
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50 of 53 people found the following review helpful By Mikaelah Morocco on May 31, 2000
Format: Paperback
I read this book when my son was 14 months old and began implementing Magda Gerber's philosphy of respect for infants and toddler's. It is amazing to my husband and myself how easy it was to gain the cooperation of our little boy just by explaining what we would be doing and giving him time to participate in his own care.
Primary times for interacting with your child are diapering, feeding and bathing. These times are no longer tasks to be hurried through, but moments of communication and interaction that set the stage for a lifetime of relating.
The book also addresses the needs of parents. It is the first book I have read that truly deals with the family as a unit. Realizing that parents also have needs and are better at parenting when these needs for rest and time apart from the infant are met was very helpful.
Also helpful were the ideas around creating safe areas for Noah to play in ... both indoors and out as a way for him to have space and time alone.
Allowing Noah to have his feelings when something comes up that doesn't suit him was another area that the book deals with. It is ok to be mad or upset or uncomfortable...and as a parent not to distract my son from being upset, which seems to be a knee-jerk response at times. It never occurred to me that just acknowleging Noah's feelings was enough. I didn't have to give in to all the demands to keep peace in the house. In fact, our home is very peaceful since implementing Gerber's ideas.
This is more than just a parenting book. It has helped me be more present with my son.
I only wish I would have discovered this book before we had our son so that I could have done some of the things she suggests earlier in Noah's life.
It is a book that I enthusiastically recommend.
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