97 of 97 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Good insights if you can bridge the gap from 1979-2003, September 23, 2003
This review is from: Your Six-Year-Old: Loving and Defiant (Paperback)
Overall, I liked the book. I was really looking for the 6-year-old version of "What to Expect: The Toddler Years." It didn't go into that degree of detail, but what it did cover was useful. The overriding message is that the time from 6.0-6.5 is volatile and often not much fun. Children are going through a lot of changes, very unsure of themselves, and need lots of reassurance (even when they're misbehaving terribly). The authors make the point that kids at that age typically aren't ready for advanced tutoring in morals, and suggest that simply ignoring a lot of the bad table manners, lying, pilfering, attitude, etc. can be the best approach. They observe that you can typically accomplish the same things better at age 7.
I found the discussion of emotional development, mental development, and physical development -- and how to support each of those -- good background material. The part where I think I made the most mental notes on my personal "to do" list was in the "Techniques" chapter. The authors suggest several general techniques including
1. Praise -- Sixes need more affirmation than other ages and are more fragile
2. Chances -- Say, "you've used up one chance. I'll give you two more chances to do ___"
3. Counting -- Say, "Let's see if you can do this before I count to 10."
4. SIdestep -- change the subject, change mode of interaction, etc.
5. Bargain -- "If you play nicely with your brother until lunch, I'll let you watch Scooby Doo while he's napping."
6. Give in -- think of yourself as modeling the behavior of compromising
7. Isolation -- Good old time out -- physically transporting the 6 to timeout if necessary
8. Ignoring -- Say, "I can't hear whining" or "I can't hear potty talk," i.e., let them know you're ignoring them
9. Not noticing -- just let the little stuff slide because it isn't all that productive at this age to try to reign it in
The book is somewhat dated -- not updated much since 1979 except for some of the recommended reading. This undermines the book cosmetically and to a lesser degree substantively. On the cosmetic level, the authors talk about TV as though shows come on at particular times or you miss them. They talk about being careful with records going onto record players, etc. On a more substantitive level, the roles attributed to fathers and mothers are traditional, with mom at home and dad not all that involved in the kids' lives. They pay lip service to mom's working, but that concept isn't really integrated into the overall discussion very well. Since much of the discussion is about the intensity of 6's relationship with mom, I had to do some reading between the lines to apply those ideas to my situation. Similarly, much of the discussion about 6's dad seems based on the idea that dad is not physically around very much and is not all that accessible even when he's home, which I think is a lot less common today than it was 25 years ago.
Overall, this is a short book (125 pages), and despite being a little dated, I thought it provided numerous good insights.
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31 of 31 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Good reference, May 3, 1999
By A Customer
This review is from: Your Six-Year-Old: Loving and Defiant (Paperback)
Another in the useful series "Your 'X' Year Old" from the Gesell Institute. The "techniques" section -- for how to get through daily tasks with your six-year-old -- is helpful and on-target. The book is at its best when describing the conversation and actions of "typical" six-year-olds. Occasionally the opinions expressed are quirky. For example, the authors establish that six-year-olds are often both clumsy and moody, and say that this can make mealtimes less than pleasant. They then suggest that the solution is to seat the child close to Mother and as far from Father as possible. (Presumably Mother can prevent accidents and soothe the child, while Father must not be disturbed!) For the reader who can skip over such occasional bits of nonsense, Your Six-Year-Old is a useful reference and helpful companion to the parent trying to understand and guide a child of six.
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26 of 26 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
The Series Is Good, June 13, 2000
This review is from: Your Six-Year-Old: Loving and Defiant (Paperback)
When my then 5 1/2 year old was behaving much differently than he had at age 5, and I thought I must have lost all of my parenting skills, my mother pulled out an old hardcover version of the Gesell Institute Books and - oh my! - much of the changes seemed to be quite common among 5 1/2 year olds!
These are 'old' books (I'm one of the earliest of the baby boomers, though my child is now nearly 9), but they are still useful.
This book and all in the series are little paperbacks, quick to read. Our society has changed since they were written, so a bit of the book may seem dated if you don't like 'traditional roles. However, there is much good information and wisdom in here, unencumbered by the modern day concerns about ADD and such. In expensive, a good investment to ease a parent's mind. A nice gift from grandparents to their own children, and for young parents, just nice to have on the shelf for those days when we forget that kids behaviors and interests change as they grow up.
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