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Your Two-Year-Old: Terrible or Tender Paperback – July 15, 1980
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About the Author
Frances L. Ilg wrote numerous books, including The Child from Five to Ten, Youth: The Years from Ten to Sixteen, and Child Behavior, before her death in 1981. She was also a co-founder of the Gesell Institute of Child Development at Yale.
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Top Customer Reviews
The text is reasonably neutral and instructive on hot topics such as discipline, sleep habits, and diet.
We have found this series of books to be an outstanding resource. If you look in the back of the popular Doris Herman book about preschool, you will find that she does, too.
The book does not claim to offer a solution or be the perfect expert (thank you!), but gives a few suggestions to parents to get through this period of development. I left my reading of it feeling much better about my parenting job.
Some of the language is dated (as are most classics), but I hang onto the statement, "every mother of a 2 1/2 year old needs plenty of breaks." Although one commentator questions the author's suggestion to limit choices at 2 1/2, she seems to limit that to this tough period where the child has a lot of new things happening. Limiting choices really helped in our case.
I recommend this book for any parent with a two year old.
However, that said, the book contains some really good nuggets of information for dealing with a two year old child. How many of us read a nonfiction how to or self help book and find every single iota of information is of use to us? I assume not many.
I read the book back in 1985 when my son was two. And now I'm rereading as my granddaughter hits two. The information I find to be of use includes the chapter on revisiting the characteristics of the age. The next chapter gives some techniques to handle a two year old and since it has been about 23 or so years since I've dealt with one, the review is a good one.
Even though it has been over 30 years since this book has been published, there are some useful charts about behavior that are still true today. There is also a nice resource in the back of good toys for a two. The toy list is of course centered around the toys available in the late seventies, but they are general and you should not have trouble finding the toys today or substituting like ones. For instance they recommend play-doh, legos, and dolls as well as books, balls and chalk. They are broken up by activity or skill.
If you can get past the 1976 copyright date, you'll find some valuable information for dealing with a two year old. I kept all of the books in the series and find myself referring to them as needed as the grandchildren pass each birthday.
These books are slim, fast reads with lots of really helpful observations and advice. Especially helpful to me: the explanation of the different phases between equilibrium and disequilibrium that virtually every child goes through; in later books the concept of "inwardized" vs. "outwardized" behavior is discussed and explained. These concepts were of critical importance to me in understanding the "whys" of puzzling behavior changes with my children.
Each book has the same basic layout of chapter headings, from "Characteristics of the Age", "The Child and Other People" (i.e., with mother, father, siblings, friends),"Routines, Health, and Tensional Outlets", "Discipline", "General Interests and Abilities", "The Child's Mind", and so on. The layout makes it quite easy to flip to whatever issue you are currently interested in.
They also (in some of the books) address possible food sensitivities, which I think particularly important; also very helpful -- each book has a section with advice on the planning of the birthday party for the age (with developmentally appropriate advice on how many to invite, what to expect, etc.).
My only complaint is rather minor: the pictures and some of the wording chosen are quite dated at times, which understandably might hinder credibility for some readers. However, the main concepts are not in any way altered by this. My own mother got a good laugh out of the pictures and commented that the kids' clothing and haircuts looked exactly like my siblings and I did back in the 70's!Read more ›
Most Recent Customer Reviews
I am sticking to my guns though I am sure I am going to get rimmed by some ... this book is out of date ... Read morePublished 11 days ago by thePurplePanda1
Great knowledge. Take with grain of salt. Very helpful for parents that take things to personally or feel their kids are out to do bad. Read morePublished 2 months ago by AmberJane
A great book for any parent. It is a little old so it obviously a little outdated but for dealing with small children most of it still stands strong.Published 2 months ago by Christopher Michael
While its an older book, the director of my kids' daycare recommended the book. I found it to be an easy & interesting readPublished 3 months ago by Sarah G.
Love this series of books about age appropriate children's behavior and parenting tips.Published 4 months ago by Nicki Y
Every parent should read these books...they are written in langauge you actually understand!Published 6 months ago by paulie
Perfect book...eases your mind on how your child is developing..dated? Yes. But pitch perfect book for developmentPublished 6 months ago by Julie Hennessy
The book reviews were what got me to order this book and we ended up really not liking it. It's definitely outdated, and suggests raising your voice at certain times. Read morePublished 6 months ago by Warrenisit