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25 of 28 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Wrenching story of illness, loss, and love., June 15, 2006
Michelle Wildgen's "You're Not You" features Bec, a twenty-one year old college student in Wisconsin who has given little serious thought to her future. Bec is juggling an unsatisfying job as a waitress with sporadic attendance at her college courses and a highly charged relationship with a married professor.
Bec makes the life-altering decision to apply for a position as part-time caregiver for Kate Norris, a thirty-six year old woman who is suffering from a rapidly progressive case of ALS, also known as Lou Gehrig's disease. Kate's husband, Evan, does a great deal for his wife, but when he is unavailable, Kate needs help with such tasks as shopping, personal hygiene, dressing, and taking in nourishment. Initially, Bec is intimidated by the challenge of being responsible for another person's well being.
Wildgen frankly and unflinchingly describes the day-to-day life of a woman with a degenerative illness that drains her, not only of her strength but also of her independence. In exhaustive detail, the author shows the tremendous physical and emotional toll that ALS exacts from both patient and caregivers. Kate "had pockets of movement left.... Her fingers were strong enough to manipulate a remote control or a simple switch if it was placed beneath her hand." However, almost all of the routines that healthy people take for granted--eating, getting ready for bed, and taking a stroll--Kate cannot accomplish without assistance. Kate speaks indistinctly, so Bec must learn to decipher what she is saying and translate her words for others. In addition, Bec is terrified that she will drop Kate as she moves her in and out of bed, the bathtub, or the wheelchair.
Fortunately, "You're Not You" is not merely a depressing tale about a lovely woman's decline. It is a complex and thoughtful look at how life's vicissitudes affect the way we think about ourselves and relate to others. After working for Kate over a period of months, Bec realizes that the older woman is having a profound influence on her. Regardless of her infirmities, Kate retains her dignity, courage, and self-respect and Bec cannot help but admire this special individual who has lost so much, but refuses to surrender emotionally while she still has the ability to make decisions for herself. Kate jokes around with Bec, encourages her talent for cooking and baking, and gradually becomes the older sister that Bec never had. Soon, Bec identifies so closely with Kate that she has difficulty maintaining her professional distance. "You're Not You" is sensual, literate, and written with an exquisite attention to the telling detail that breathes life into a scene or a character. It is a profoundly moving and meaningful debut novel.
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17 of 19 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Evocative and beautifully written, July 9, 2006
You're Not You is an wonderful debut novel that holds your attention from page one until long after you have finished reading. The book develops the relationship between Bec, a college student enrolled in a major she finds shallow and uninteresting and Kate, a successful woman entering the final stages of ALS.
Hired as an inexperienced caretaker for Kate, as Bec takes on more responsibility for Kate's life, they become immersed in physical and mental intimacy to the point where Bec sometimes needs to remind herself that she is to speak for Kate, not herself.
Wildgen provides a compassionate but unflinching perspective about the end of a life, made bittersweet by the juxtaposition of Kate teaching Bec how to cook gourmet meals--lifegiving food that Kate herself can not eat.
All the reviews that say You're Not You is an amazing effort for a first novel are correct. This is a wonderful, well written story and I hope we see more from Michelle Wildgen.
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Recommended Read from a First-time Novelist, August 12, 2007
This review is from: You're Not You: A Novel (Paperback)
When Bec, a 21-old Madison, Wisconsin college student decides to change her part-time job from bartending at a local greasy spoon restaurant she has no idea how much her life will change or how much her charge will influence her.
Sophisticated 36-year-old Kate Norris has had ALS aka amyotrophic lateral sclerosis or Lou Gehrig's disease for two years. Happily married she to husband Evan, she is wheelchair-bound and literally unable to do anything for herself. Her speech is even getting so bad that it difficult for her to be understood by anyone other than those very close to her. Bec literally has to do everything for her from bathing her to toileting her to putting her makeup on. As the months go by Kate, a former gourmet cook who is unable to eat by mouth due to her condition, teaches Bec to make the meals she used to love. Meanwhile, Kate's marriage deteriorates and when she and Evan separate, Bec is called upon to perform even more caretaking duties.
The life of caretaker and patient are vividly portrayed in this novel, by first-time novelist Michelle Wildgen (who has done essays and food writing, editing a couple of books of food related essays). While it is void of a heavy plot, what is at stake here is more gripping than a thrilling page-turner. Bec goes from carefree college student having an affair with a married instructor, to more sophisticated young woman who grows in more ways than one from her experiences with Kate.
This book was a New York Times Editor's Choice and was selected as one of People Magazines Top 10 books of 2006. And while I was expecting perhaps a bit more, I did end up enjoying the book overall. I give it a solid B and look forward to this author's next effort.
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