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You're Not You: A Novel (Paperback)

by Michelle Wildgen (Author)
Key Phrases: nutrition shake, Chambers Street, Lou Gehrig, Bascom Hill
4.2 out of 5 stars See all reviews (36 customer reviews)

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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly
Wildgen's first novel centers on Bec, a self-absorbed college student drifting through school and an affair with a married poetry professor, and it shows real promise. When Bec takes a summer job caring for Kate, a young married woman with Lou Gehrig's disease, it seems easy to spot the formula: lost soul comes of age through the wisdom and resolve of the terminally ill. Where Bec is anxious and aimless, Kate is sarcastic and at peace; despite paralysis, she teaches Bec to cook extravagant meals, fund-raises for ALS research and spouts wicked one-liners. But when Kate kicks out her cheating husband, Evan, Wildgen's writing becomes clear and determined, daring to spotlight an almost taboo subject—the need for sex among the sick. As Bec takes on more of Evan's roles, eventually moving into Kate's house, Bec's deep and conflicted feelings for her charge allow Wildgen to navigate the complicated moral territory of Evan's, or any young spouse's, responsibility to his terminally ill partner. The brash tone that weighs down the beginning of the novel becomes more credible and critical as Bec subsumes the powerful voice of her near-voiceless charge. Wildgen's debut showcases the talent that won her inclusion in Best New American Voices 2004, and should take her further still. (June)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Review
"What an enjoyable and deeply satisfying novel. Michelle Wildgen manages to capture, in some extraordinary way, what it's like to be a fairly ordinary college student, waiting for one's life to begin. An exhilarating debut novel" Margot Livesey, author of Banishing Verona" --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 288 pages
  • Publisher: Picador (July 24, 2007)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0312369522
  • ISBN-13: 978-0312369521
  • Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.5 x 0.9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars See all reviews (36 customer reviews)
  • Amazon.com Sales Rank: #117,880 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

36 Reviews
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 (22)
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Average Customer Review
4.2 out of 5 stars (36 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

 
20 of 22 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Wrenching story of illness, loss, and love., June 15, 2006
Michelle Wildgen's "You're Not You" features Bec, a twenty-one year old college student in Wisconsin who has given little serious thought to her future. Bec is juggling an unsatisfying job as a waitress with sporadic attendance at her college courses and a highly charged relationship with a married professor.

Bec makes the life-altering decision to apply for a position as part-time caregiver for Kate Norris, a thirty-six year old woman who is suffering from a rapidly progressive case of ALS, also known as Lou Gehrig's disease. Kate's husband, Evan, does a great deal for his wife, but when he is unavailable, Kate needs help with such tasks as shopping, personal hygiene, dressing, and taking in nourishment. Initially, Bec is intimidated by the challenge of being responsible for another person's well being.

Wildgen frankly and unflinchingly describes the day-to-day life of a woman with a degenerative illness that drains her, not only of her strength but also of her independence. In exhaustive detail, the author shows the tremendous physical and emotional toll that ALS exacts from both patient and caregivers. Kate "had pockets of movement left.... Her fingers were strong enough to manipulate a remote control or a simple switch if it was placed beneath her hand." However, almost all of the routines that healthy people take for granted--eating, getting ready for bed, and taking a stroll--Kate cannot accomplish without assistance. Kate speaks indistinctly, so Bec must learn to decipher what she is saying and translate her words for others. In addition, Bec is terrified that she will drop Kate as she moves her in and out of bed, the bathtub, or the wheelchair.

Fortunately, "You're Not You" is not merely a depressing tale about a lovely woman's decline. It is a complex and thoughtful look at how life's vicissitudes affect the way we think about ourselves and relate to others. After working for Kate over a period of months, Bec realizes that the older woman is having a profound influence on her. Regardless of her infirmities, Kate retains her dignity, courage, and self-respect and Bec cannot help but admire this special individual who has lost so much, but refuses to surrender emotionally while she still has the ability to make decisions for herself. Kate jokes around with Bec, encourages her talent for cooking and baking, and gradually becomes the older sister that Bec never had. Soon, Bec identifies so closely with Kate that she has difficulty maintaining her professional distance. "You're Not You" is sensual, literate, and written with an exquisite attention to the telling detail that breathes life into a scene or a character. It is a profoundly moving and meaningful debut novel.
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16 of 18 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Evocative and beautifully written, July 9, 2006
By E. Griffin (Wilton, CT, USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)      
You're Not You is an wonderful debut novel that holds your attention from page one until long after you have finished reading. The book develops the relationship between Bec, a college student enrolled in a major she finds shallow and uninteresting and Kate, a successful woman entering the final stages of ALS.

Hired as an inexperienced caretaker for Kate, as Bec takes on more responsibility for Kate's life, they become immersed in physical and mental intimacy to the point where Bec sometimes needs to remind herself that she is to speak for Kate, not herself.

Wildgen provides a compassionate but unflinching perspective about the end of a life, made bittersweet by the juxtaposition of Kate teaching Bec how to cook gourmet meals--lifegiving food that Kate herself can not eat.

All the reviews that say You're Not You is an amazing effort for a first novel are correct. This is a wonderful, well written story and I hope we see more from Michelle Wildgen.
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars Recommended Read from a First-time Novelist, August 12, 2007
When Bec, a 21-old Madison, Wisconsin college student decides to change her part-time job from bartending at a local greasy spoon restaurant she has no idea how much her life will change or how much her charge will influence her.

Sophisticated 36-year-old Kate Norris has had ALS aka amyotrophic lateral sclerosis or Lou Gehrig's disease for two years. Happily married she to husband Evan, she is wheelchair-bound and literally unable to do anything for herself. Her speech is even getting so bad that it difficult for her to be understood by anyone other than those very close to her. Bec literally has to do everything for her from bathing her to toileting her to putting her makeup on. As the months go by Kate, a former gourmet cook who is unable to eat by mouth due to her condition, teaches Bec to make the meals she used to love. Meanwhile, Kate's marriage deteriorates and when she and Evan separate, Bec is called upon to perform even more caretaking duties.

The life of caretaker and patient are vividly portrayed in this novel, by first-time novelist Michelle Wildgen (who has done essays and food writing, editing a couple of books of food related essays). While it is void of a heavy plot, what is at stake here is more gripping than a thrilling page-turner. Bec goes from carefree college student having an affair with a married instructor, to more sophisticated young woman who grows in more ways than one from her experiences with Kate.

This book was a New York Times Editor's Choice and was selected as one of People Magazines Top 10 books of 2006. And while I was expecting perhaps a bit more, I did end up enjoying the book overall. I give it a solid B and look forward to this author's next effort.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews

2.0 out of 5 stars Kinda blah
The characters in this book didn't make sense. Kate and Bec never really formed a true bond like I'd hoped. Read more
Published 8 months ago by LB-NH

2.0 out of 5 stars Lost
I really did not get the great reviews on Amazon. I have just recently lost a loved one to ALS and I can assure you this book is far from real. I am sure Ms. Read more
Published 9 months ago by L. Phipps

5.0 out of 5 stars From Someone With ALS
I read the hype and bought this book a few months ago. I was diagnosed with ALS in August '07. Reading the statistics -- 50% of us die within 3 years of diagnosis and 80% within... Read more
Published 10 months ago by Donita R. James

5.0 out of 5 stars Beautiful
This was a beautiful story and so touching to read. I loved the characters and felt strong emotions for all of them, except Cynthia and Evan (near the middled) of course... Read more
Published 11 months ago by Christy M. Wardlow

4.0 out of 5 stars well done
You're not you was a lovely novel about relationships across the spectrum. The author analyzes and displays her characters beautifully. Read more
Published 12 months ago by Emily A. Hartsough

5.0 out of 5 stars Well-written, honest, great read
I really enjoyed this book. It's very honest and deals with tough issues in a believable way. I look forward to more books by Michelle Widgen!
Published 17 months ago by Jacqueline Flynn

5.0 out of 5 stars Very interesting and informative novel...
Really enjoyed this book. A novel full of insight. Ponders the question "what is quality of life?" and grapples with the issue of death with dignity and those it affects.
Published 19 months ago by S. Litman

5.0 out of 5 stars Loved this book!
I loved this book. VERY well written and a great story that takes place in Madison Wisconsin present day.
Published 20 months ago by Gamma D.

3.0 out of 5 stars Sad subject matter but often very boring
Is it me or are there way too many references to food and wine in this novel? It seemed like all they were doing was sitting down to an elaborate meal or Bec was chopping... Read more
Published 20 months ago by Julia

4.0 out of 5 stars A tender novel
I loved this book. It's such a sweet and tender story. I love the characters! Will pass along to my friends.
Published 21 months ago by Amy Marshall

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