Customer Reviews

You're Not You: A Novel

5 star:		(23)
4 star:		(9)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

Michelle Wildgen's "You're Not You" features Bec, a twenty-one year old college student in Wisconsin who has given little serious thought to her future. Bec is juggling an unsatisfying job as a waitress with sporadic attendance at her college courses and a highly charged relationship with a married professor.

Bec makes the life-altering decision to apply for a position as part-time caregiver for Kate Norris, a thirty-six year old woman who is suffering from a rapidly progressive case of ALS, also known as Lou Gehrig's disease. Kate's husband, Evan, does a great deal for his wife, but when he is unavailable, Kate needs help with such tasks as shopping, personal hygiene, dressing, and taking in nourishment. Initially, Bec is intimidated by the challenge of being responsible for another person's well being.

Wildgen frankly and unflinchingly describes the day-to-day life of a woman with a degenerative illness that drains her, not only of her strength but also of her independence. In exhaustive detail, the author shows the tremendous physical and emotional toll that ALS exacts from both patient and caregivers. Kate "had pockets of movement left.... Her fingers were strong enough to manipulate a remote control or a simple switch if it was placed beneath her hand." However, almost all of the routines that healthy people take for granted--eating, getting ready for bed, and taking a stroll--Kate cannot accomplish without assistance. Kate speaks indistinctly, so Bec must learn to decipher what she is saying and translate her words for others. In addition, Bec is terrified that she will drop Kate as she moves her in and out of bed, the bathtub, or the wheelchair.

Fortunately, "You're Not You" is not merely a depressing tale about a lovely woman's decline. It is a complex and thoughtful look at how life's vicissitudes affect the way we think about ourselves and relate to others. After working for Kate over a period of months, Bec realizes that the older woman is having a profound influence on her. Regardless of her infirmities, Kate retains her dignity, courage, and self-respect and Bec cannot help but admire this special individual who has lost so much, but refuses to surrender emotionally while she still has the ability to make decisions for herself. Kate jokes around with Bec, encourages her talent for cooking and baking, and gradually becomes the older sister that Bec never had. Soon, Bec identifies so closely with Kate that she has difficulty maintaining her professional distance. "You're Not You" is sensual, literate, and written with an exquisite attention to the telling detail that breathes life into a scene or a character. It is a profoundly moving and meaningful debut novel.

You're Not You is an wonderful debut novel that holds your attention from page one until long after you have finished reading. The book develops the relationship between Bec, a college student enrolled in a major she finds shallow and uninteresting and Kate, a successful woman entering the final stages of ALS.

Hired as an inexperienced caretaker for Kate, as Bec takes on more responsibility for Kate's life, they become immersed in physical and mental intimacy to the point where Bec sometimes needs to remind herself that she is to speak for Kate, not herself.

Wildgen provides a compassionate but unflinching perspective about the end of a life, made bittersweet by the juxtaposition of Kate teaching Bec how to cook gourmet meals--lifegiving food that Kate herself can not eat.

All the reviews that say You're Not You is an amazing effort for a first novel are correct. This is a wonderful, well written story and I hope we see more from Michelle Wildgen.

When Bec, a 21-old Madison, Wisconsin college student decides to change her part-time job from bartending at a local greasy spoon restaurant she has no idea how much her life will change or how much her charge will influence her.

Sophisticated 36-year-old Kate Norris has had ALS aka amyotrophic lateral sclerosis or Lou Gehrig's disease for two years. Happily married she to husband Evan, she is wheelchair-bound and literally unable to do anything for herself. Her speech is even getting so bad that it difficult for her to be understood by anyone other than those very close to her. Bec literally has to do everything for her from bathing her to toileting her to putting her makeup on. As the months go by Kate, a former gourmet cook who is unable to eat by mouth due to her condition, teaches Bec to make the meals she used to love. Meanwhile, Kate's marriage deteriorates and when she and Evan separate, Bec is called upon to perform even more caretaking duties.

The life of caretaker and patient are vividly portrayed in this novel, by first-time novelist Michelle Wildgen (who has done essays and food writing, editing a couple of books of food related essays). While it is void of a heavy plot, what is at stake here is more gripping than a thrilling page-turner. Bec goes from carefree college student having an affair with a married instructor, to more sophisticated young woman who grows in more ways than one from her experiences with Kate.

This book was a New York Times Editor's Choice and was selected as one of People Magazines Top 10 books of 2006. And while I was expecting perhaps a bit more, I did end up enjoying the book overall. I give it a solid B and look forward to this author's next effort.

I am truly astonished that this is Ms. Wildgen's first novel. To have such an intelligent, sophistcated book that is also so accessible and non-pretentious is such a breath of fresh air for me. This book, more then anything, made me grateful. Grateful for my health, my family, my friends, my triumphs and my defeats. It helps you to remember that life is what you make it. To watch Kate embrace life as she does should remind us all that no matter what hand we are dealt, life is only what we make it. And Bec is that innocent in all of us, slowly discovering the sometimes harsh reality of life and humanity. I eagerly await Ms. Wildgen's sophmore effort for both entertainment and for what it may remind me about myself and the people and world around me.

I read the hype and bought this book a few months ago. I was diagnosed with ALS in August '07. Reading the statistics -- 50% of us die within 3 years of diagnosis and 80% within 5 years -- sent me on a search for anything, fact or fiction, about ALS.

This is not a medical manual. It is a novel that I thoroughly enjoyed. I wish I had the ability to write about my own situation so beautifully as Ms Widgeon has written about Kate. Relationships change, often dramatically, as she points out. Kate's decision is understandable given the circumstances and I could relate and enjoyed & recommend this book.

Michelle Wildgen's debut novel about the relationship between an ALS patient and the young woman who is her carekeeper is well-wrought and raises important questions about such diverse topics as incurable diseases, gourmet food, and marital fidelity. It also very much has a sense of place in Madison, Wisconsin. Like many other readers, I am looking forward to future novels by this gifted writer.

I'm shocked that You're Not You is a first novel. Michelle Wildgen has written a truly touching book that never dips into sappy or preachy (which can happen in novels involving grave illness). I found myself laughing out loud at times, while I was drawn deeper and deeper into the evolving friendship between Bec and Kate. Wildgen knows her food - the descriptions of Bec and Kate's meals are beautiful - and her witty tone helped balance the tone in a very artful way. I can't wait to read Wildgen's next novel!

I found this book by accident. When I read the reviews, I was hooked: I had worked with high-level spinal cord patients for several years and I wanted to see how Ms Wildgen would handle portraying a character with
progressive paralysis. She was up to the challenge. Reading decriptions of the protaganist rendering personal care transported me through time. Watching the caregiver trying to set boundaries brought a rueful smile. Perhaps because of my history, I was not as suprised by some of the turns as some readers will be, but it was still riveting. For some reason the first 50-60 pages don't seem nearly as well written as the rest of the book. If you feel the same way-stick with it, it's well worth it.

You're Not You is nothing short of FABULOUS! I was completely swept away with the story and delighted by the writing. Here are a few gems that I especially enjoyed:

a description of the romantic relationship between Bec, the main character, and her boyfriend --

"Our relationship was a temperamental little pet, some delicate, vivid tropical creature blinking at us inside its glass tank, requiring precisely calibrated humidity and temperature and food in tiny frequent doses and lots of pure water. No loud noises, no startling prods of its scaly belly.

=====

Bec's thoughts on adultery -

"Maybe married life was like that, but no one had told me. Maybe no one ever told you until you got married, too, and then they started taking you aside at parties, drawing you into the corner to give you the lowdown on how it really was. Everybody has these moments, they'd whisper, slurping at a martini, these experiences, with other people, and it's no big deal."

=====

Bec's sense of humor is always present, especially when describing herself -

* "I was, I suspected, inches from becoming a rifler of purses, neglecter of children and smacker of dogs."

* "I tend to really love a song I hear once on the radio, then I play it into the ground and hate it in three weeks. I don't think I actually have taste. I have flings."

=====

A thoroughly enjoyable but complex book.

This was a beautiful story and so touching to read. I loved the characters and felt strong emotions for all of them, except Cynthia and Evan (near the middled) of course. Bastards, but the scenario was all too real. Kate changed a young life and taught her so much about living.

Great Job, Michelle Wildgen!

Christy W
LA