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You're Only Old Once!  A Book for Obsolete Children
 
 
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You're Only Old Once! A Book for Obsolete Children [Hardcover]

Dr. Seuss (Author)
4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (54 customer reviews)

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Book Description

Classic Seuss February 12, 1986
If laughter is the best medicine, then You’re Only Old Once! is a delightful new defense against aging. Anyone who has ever submitted to a battery of medical tests will empathize with Dr. Seuss’s Everyman as we follow him through his checkup with the experts at the Golden Years Clinic. From the initial Eyesight and Solvency Test through all the stops along Stethoscope Row to finally being “properly pilled” and “properly billed,” Dr. Seuss lightens the aches and pains of growing old with his inimitable wit and wisdom. A perfect gift for anyone over 50!

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You're Only Old Once!  A Book for Obsolete Children + Seuss-isms: Wise and Witty Prescriptions for Living from the Good Doctor (Life Favors(TM)) + Did I Ever Tell You How Lucky You Are? (Classic Seuss)
Price For All Three: $28.04

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Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Subtitled A Book for Obsolete Children, this unusual item in the Seuss canon doesn't really belong among the children's books. Written to celebrate the nonsense master's 82nd birthday, it follows "you" (an elderly gent in a suit and white moustache) through a physical check-up in some fiendish geriatric clinic. You are measured, prodded, and subjected to all the medical indignities familiar and unfamiliar to the elderly. "You must see Dr. Pollen, our Allergy Whiz, who knows every sniffle and itch that there is... He will check your reactions to thumbtacks and glue, catcher's mitts, leaf mould, and cardigans too. Nasturtiums and marble cake, white and blue chalks, anthracite coal and the feathers of hawks." It's clear that the process is going to be long, but much shorter than the bill. The blurb on the back says it all: "Is this a children's book? Well... not immediately. You buy a copy for your child now and you give it to him on his 70th birthday." Actually, it would make an amusing gift for anyone over 40. --Richard Farr

From the Inside Flap

Dr. Seuss lightens the aches and pains of growing old with his inimitable wit and wisdom. In this new defense against aging, we follow our hapless hero through his checkup with the experts at the Golden Years Clinic.

Product Details

  • Reading level: Ages 12 and up
  • Hardcover: 48 pages
  • Publisher: Random House; 1st edition (February 12, 1986)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0394551907
  • ISBN-13: 978-0394551906
  • Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 0.4 x 11.4 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (54 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #6,401 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

"A person's a person, no matter how small," Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, would say. "Children want the same things we want. To laugh, to be challenged, to be entertained and delighted."

Brilliant, playful, and always respectful of children, Dr. Seuss charmed his way into the consciousness of four generations of youngsters and parents. In the process, he helped millions of kids learn to read.

Dr. Seuss was born Theodor Geisel in Springfield, Massachusetts, on March 2, 1904. After graduating from Dartmouth College in 1925, he went to Oxford University, intending to acquire a doctorate in literature. At Oxford, Geisel met Helen Palmer, whom he wed in 1927. Upon his return to America later that year, Geisel published cartoons and humorous articles for Judge, the leading humor magazine in America at that time. His cartoons also appeared in major magazines such as Life, Vanity Fair, and Liberty. Geisel gained national exposure when he won an advertising contract for an insecticide called Flit. He coined the phrase, "Quick, Henry, the Flit!" which became a popular expression.

Geisel published his first children's book, And to Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street, in 1937, after 27 publishers rejected it.

Winner of the Pulitzer Prize in 1984, an Academy Award, three Emmy Awards, three Grammy Awards, and three Caldecott Honors, Geisel wrote and illustrated 44 books. While Theodor Geisel died on September 24, 1991, Dr. Seuss lives on, inspiring generations of children of all ages to explore the joys of reading.

 

Customer Reviews

54 Reviews
5 star:
 (45)
4 star:
 (6)
3 star:
 (1)
2 star:
 (1)
1 star:
 (1)
 
 
 
 
 
Average Customer Review
4.7 out of 5 stars (54 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

63 of 65 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Perfect Gift for Those Whose Social Life Is Visiting Doctors, July 14, 2000
By 
Donald Mitchell "Jesus Loves You!" (Thanks for Providing My Reviews over 109,000 Helpful Votes Globally) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (HALL OF FAME REVIEWER)    (TOP 100 REVIEWER)   
This review is from: You're Only Old Once! A Book for Obsolete Children (Hardcover)
I sometimes think that retirement is when you stop going to work full time so that you can go to doctors full time. Dr. Seuss seems to agree with that observation in this witty, beautifully illustrated book.

The book starts off like most Dr. Seuss books, beckoning you towards a far distant, wonderful land. In this case, the land is Fotta-fa-Zee where there's "no smelly bad traffic," you feel fine at 103, and your teeth and hair are kept strong by chewing nuts from the Tutt-a-Tutt Tree.

Then reality sets in. You've just been reading National Geographic about Fotta-fa-Zee while sitting in the Golden Years Clinic waiting for the physical that no one should ever have. The high point of this whole experience is talking with the fish in the aquarium as you wait, and wait, and wait for the next part of the exam. Naturally, no one will tell you anything about what they have learned from the tests. You have to see more doctors first, and take more tests.

One of my favorite parts is the eye exam near the beginning, where you get both a "eyesight and solvency test." You have to be able to see and pay for the exam to pass.

Pretty soon all of your clothes have been replaced with a gown, and you cannot easily escape even though that seems like the right thing to do. Each test seems worse than the last. The stress test adds stress as well as measuring it. You smell foods, and any that smell good are taken off your diet.

At some point, you make such an impression with your test results that they wheel you around in a wheelchair.

Pretty soon you've got so many prescriptions it takes two pages of poetry to cover all of the directions.

Before you can escape you have to fill out more forms so that the bills will be paid by your estate if you don't survive.

Dr. Seuss concludes with "you're in pretty good shape for the shape you are in." That's the most we can hope for from America's answer to afternoon tea for the Medicare set.

Having been through such check-ups myself and having a father whose retirement consists of keeping doctors in business at 84 (he calls it 21 for the 4th time), I can definitely appreciate the humor here. Hopefully, you will too.

I just wish we had stayed in Fotta-fa-Zee rather than the Doctor's office.

The satirical concept is great, but the poetry, whimsy, and illustrations make it all even better. It should cheer up anyone who spends a lot of time visiting doctors.

Banish your misconception stalls about aging and medical care with humor!

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23 of 25 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Seuss for Adults, May 10, 2000
This review is from: You're Only Old Once! A Book for Obsolete Children (Hardcover)
Yes, this really is a book for adults. It has page after page of insights about the clinic "Beckoner," and the waiting room fish, and your gratitude that you're, " . . . not quite as deaf as a post." For most of us, it has been far too long (since childhood?) since anyone read to us just to read to us, rather than pass along information. So for something very special, if you are over 50 or so, read YOU'RE ONLY OLD ONCE to your Significant Other. You'll probably end up hugging each other while you chuckle.
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14 of 14 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars So entertaining for our "older" friends, January 11, 1999
This review is from: You're Only Old Once! A Book for Obsolete Children (Hardcover)
I read this book while waiting for my husband at a Cardiologist's office. I work for a senior center, and my husband & I AREN'T getting younger. I love the way it recognizes some of the worries of elders & entertains. My copy will go to our senior center's library.
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Inside This Book (learn more)
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One day you will read in the National Geographic of a faraway land with no smelly bad traffic. Read the first page
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