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You're Out and You're Ugly, Too!: Confessions Of An Umpire With An Attitude Mass Market Paperback – April 15, 1999


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Product Details

  • Mass Market Paperback: 270 pages
  • Publisher: St. Martin's Paperbacks (April 15, 1999)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0312969007
  • ISBN-13: 978-0312969004
  • Product Dimensions: 4.3 x 0.9 x 6.7 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 3.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (23 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,380,611 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

After decades of abuse and spittle, Major League umpire Durwood Merrill strikes back with some pretty incisive, funny, and no-holds-barred anecdotes. When his book stays in the game, it's a real hoot, light and folksy; how can you not laugh with a guy who can admit that "Folks around the American League say I've sent a few pitchers to the Hall of Fame before their time because my strike zone tends to swell like George Steinbrenner's ego"? It's his own ego, though, that has him swinging for the seats and coming up short; he's not much of a memoirist. Thankfully, like a good umpire, he keeps his personal interference to a minimum and mostly sticks to business, offering some tough prescriptions for what ails the game, and some solid dissection of the intricacies of his craft. His thoughts on Pete Rose might lead you to believe that Charlie Hustle is the book's title character. -- Jeff Silverman, Sports editor --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Review

"By nature, umpires aren't a particularly lovable breed, but it'll be hard to dislike Merrill after reading this funny and candid memoir of his career."-- USA Today Baseball Weekly

"He's the greatest storyteller in baseball. And his stories are often metaphors for life's experiences and lessons. He's a wonderful, sensitive person, but he's also a hell of an umpire and performer. The man has a great lust for life. He's an entertainer and a real hot dog. And when I say hot dog, I mean it as a term of endearment."-- Former Umpire Steve Palermo

"Durwood, a lot of people say, is the funniest umpire in all of baseball. I happen to think he's the funniest man in baseball. Just watch him on the field sometime and your sides will hurt from laughing so much. He puts a kid's perspective back in the game, and that's what baseball needs."-- George Brett, former All Star

Customer Reviews

I can't wait for Mr. Dent's next book.
jjsjokes@aol.com
His insight on the game of Baseball and the perspective that he gives is truly unique.
str82tx@hotmail.com
This book is by far the most choppy piece of writing I've ever read.
hoopswiz@aol.com

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on August 19, 1999
Format: Mass Market Paperback
Durwood Merrill has had some interesting experiences, and crossed paths with some of the more intriguing people behind the scenes of baseball. For that, it may be worth struggling through this poorly written manuscript.
Mr Merrill is not expected to be much of an author, and should rely heavily on his editor to tighten up his anecdotes into a readable, coherent, flowing manuscript. Mr. Dent has failed him miserably here. It's as if the editor read each anecdote separately, and forgot about it once he turned the page. Spelling and typos were ATROCIOUS.
In short, this book would have been much better if it were edited down to about 2/3rds its size, and nothing of value would have been lost.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By str82tx@hotmail.com on July 21, 1998
Format: Hardcover
Durwood's Book is without a doubt probably the one of the best books I've read in a long time. His insight on the game of Baseball and the perspective that he gives is truly unique. Being graduate of the same Umpire School that Durwood went to, and Umpiring at the High School and College Level, I know what all Umpires face while trying to do their best. His stories about situations with players and managers made me laugh. He has drawn a lot of heat for what he has written, about the players, managers, and owners, "The Baseball Lords." Why you might ask? Because someone needs to tell the "Real Fans" of baseball what happens behind the scenes. He has such a way to tell his story that is unreal, he fires right back at all umpire attackers that truly don't know their head from a donkey's butt(like Tim MacCarver), and in one moment he'll make you laugh (like his story about his grandson and Nolan Ryan), and the next he'll make you cry (when he talk! s about the death of fellow Umps, Lou DiMuro, Nick Bremigan, & John McSherry, or the untimely loss of truly one of the Greatest Umpires of Baseball Steve Pallermo, or even his work with his home town at Christmas time). You feel for him and everyone around him when he tells the story, you feel the emotion as he prepares to the plate for tonights game. I think it would be a total shame if you don't read this book because you will miss out on the story of one of Baseball's Greatest Ambassadors.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By E. Vallee on August 14, 2002
Format: Mass Market Paperback Verified Purchase
It's a light read, but Durwood is very colorful and sincere in his writing. I felt as if he was my Grandpa sitting next to me telling me these wonderfull stories. You'll enjoy it even if you're not a baseball fan.
If you ARE a baseball fan. You'll hesitate the next time you "boo" an umpire at a game. (but only for a second or two)
:)
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Joseph Siegler TOP 1000 REVIEWERVINE VOICE on September 10, 2003
Format: Mass Market Paperback Verified Purchase
When I first bought this book, I wasn't quite sure what to think. I had heard a few negative things about it, and kind of had a prejudice against it. Boy, was that wrong! I found this to be a very funny, lighthearted read (for the most part). There's some really wonderful insights into what it takes to become a big league umpire - never quite realized all they went through in "Umpire boot camp" (my term). It's not all fun and games, there's a few stories about how an umpire friend of his was attacked and crippled on the streets of Dallas, and the latter part talks a lot about his charity works.
A great book - funny, light, and to be honest, something that surprised me in a very good way. What was personally annoying was that after I read this (during the last month of the 99 season), I wanted to watch Durwood, and then he up and retires during the playoffs (and then died a short time later). Damn. Really wanted to see him after reading his book. Oh well. Check it out, a good light read.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on August 23, 1998
Format: Hardcover
What was billed as a wildly hysterical look at major league baseball through the eyes of an umpire turned out to be a rather booring couple of nights of reading. If you want real humor, check out Ron Luciano's efforts. If you want "ol' boy, down home country lingo" this will do. The foreward, written by Ken Griffey, Jr. is banal and self-serving. The book itself does little more than proclaim baseball analyst Tim McCarver as a jerk, superstar Reggie Jackson as the "second coming" (presumably because he professed to enjoy the author's fried chicken) and Merrill himself as a blind supporter of his fellow umpires. Funny,,, Merrill referred to former umpire Nestor Chylak as "Nestor Shylock".Didn't his editors check this out beforehand? That's reason enough for me to ask for my money back. If your looking for baseball humor, try Luciano - and leave this book on the shelf.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Jonah Falcon on January 12, 2003
Format: Hardcover
Durwood Merrill just passed away today, after suffering a heart attack last Sunday. Godspeed, Durwood.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on May 24, 1998
Format: Hardcover
I loved this book. As a 31 year old high school baseball umpire and a Christian, Durwood sets a great role model for me. I hope I can teach my kids the values he brings to everything he does. The world needs a few more Durwoods. The only sad part of the book was the sections on Steve Palmerio. Steve was a great umpire who has tragically had his career cut short. Durwood's love shines through every word he writes, and in the era of mega salaries, and mega egos, it reminds me what I love about the game: its the friends you make and the lessons you learn.
Thanks Durwood!
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