You're a Stepparent . . . Now What?: A Guide to Parenting in Families with Nonbiological Children [Paperback]

Joseph Cerquone (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 1, 1994

Joseph Cerquone investigates the unique problems that are inherent in a family with stepchildren. He compassionately shows how to set realistic expectations, establish good relationships with stepchildren, effectively deal with a partner's ex-spouse, fairly discipline stepchildren, parent stepsiblings and cope with grandparents, holidays and everyday life.

Editorial Reviews

Review

Whether you're a brand new stepparent or have been coping with a stepfamily for some time, an adoptive parent, or even a surrogate, You're A Stepparent. . . Now What?: A Guide To Parenting In Families With Nonbiological Children will provide the skills needed to stay one step ahead in the complex world of "nontraditional" families. The subjects covered include how to combine two sets of children without anyone getting "creamed", how to use humor to meet the challenges posed by pre-teens and teenagers, how to defuse potential "hot spots" in your new family, how to create personal space in families with "his, hers, ours and theirs", and how to deal with holidays, birth parents and grandparents. Joseph Cerquone writes with an immediacy and clarity that will be greatly appreciated by the reader. You're A Stepparent. . . Now What? will inform, uplift and inspire all types of parents. You're A Stepparent. . . Now What? is also recommended reading for foster parents, group home workers, adult children caring for younger siblings, and grandparents suddenly called upon to assume primary parenting. -- Midwest Book Review

Product Details

• Paperback: 173 pages
• Publisher: New Horizon Press (September 1, 1994)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0882821296
• ISBN-13: 978-0882821290
• Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.5 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.3 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 1.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #3,015,345 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

5 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars superficial advice, July 16, 2004

By 

Peter Gerlach (Portland, OR) - See all my reviews

This review is from: You're a Stepparent . . . Now What?: A Guide to Parenting in Families with Nonbiological Children (Paperback)

I have specialized in providing professional education and therapy to divorced, courting, and re/wedded couples since 1981. I am (a) 66, (b) a stepgrandson, stepson, and ex-stepfather and stepbrother, (c) an invited Board member of the Stepfamily Association of America, (d) a contributing editor to 'Your Stepfamily Online,' and (e) the author of six personal-growth and family-relations books.

I recommend this book to people with a casual interest in sensing some surface aspects of the complex role of "stepparent." I do not recommend this book to anyone seeking to understand the core requisites for building high-nurturance, enduring stepfamily relationships.

"Your a Stepparent..." appears to be based on the author Cerquone's experience as a foster parent, interviews with some stepparents, and diligent research on the writings of some respected stepfamily authors. The result is well-intended - and of little practical value to serious readers, because he omits four essential topics:

1) why and how to assess and reduce co-parents' psychological wounds from childhood;

2) the origin and impacts of blocked grief in adults and kids, and how to spot and reduce it;

3) co-parent unawareness of five key topics: (a) normal personality formation, composition, and function; (b) keys to high-nurturance families and relationships, (c) effective communication skills, (d) healthy 3-level grief, and (e) stepfamily realities and norms and implications. and...

4) little effective re/marital and co-parenting help (i.e. courtship coaching, classes, informed counseling, co-parent support groups) available in most communities and the media.

In my experience, these factors will often block the best-intentioned adults from following well-meant stepfamily advice, as in this book. If ignored, the factors inexorably promote choosing the wrong people to re/wed, for the wrong reasons, at the wrong time - and subsequent stresses and re/divorce. Awareness, acceptance, and discussion of these (and related) factors can reduce three of these stressors, and help to achieve high-nurturance stepfamilies.

For more perspective on this review, see [...]