Why You're Still Single [Paperback]

Evan Marc Katz (Author), Linda Holmes (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: May 30, 2006

This book isn't about catching men or reeling anybody in. Catching is for nine-year-olds playing freeze tag, and reeling is for trout. This is about you, considering the possibility that you're tripping over your own feet, no matter how much of an amazing, smart, hot, totally worthwhile ass-kicker you may be as a general rule. Some food for thought:

-Don't be the "men are pigs" woman. She's boring. She's unhappy. And the good men don't want her.
-Don't demand the right to set arbitrary rules, let alone change them every five minutes. Act like a crazy person and you'll be treated like one.
-Realize when he doesn't want to talk and give him that space. Men don't usually feel the need to share as much. Respect that or watch him shut down even more.

. . . In other words: If you're looking for a different approach, this book has one.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"The book doesn't take the tone of I'm So Good at this Relationship Thing and You Suck! that a lot of books engage in but proves that we are all just trying to make sense of this thing called love."

----VixenTales - book review

"I. Loved. It. None of this 'don't ever call a man' crap. No 'keep your legs crossed for-evah' nonsense. This book addresses singles as rational, intelligent people who just happen to be on their own."
---WhenWeWereLiars - book review

"Plainspoken and to the point, the guide is simple, practical, and above all, positive...There are enough small gems in these pages to reinvigorate even the most pitiful dating repertoire."
---CurledUp.com - book review

"A book by two astute, exceptionally observant single people who discuss the ways singles manage to stay single...Any woman looking to change her single state could benefit from this book."

---The Flatland Oracles -book review

I do have to say that reading self-help books is against my nature, but there's a lot of wit here...I almost stopped reading in Chapter 1 and said, "That's it! I've been diagnosed." ---CharmingButSingle - book review

A must-read for all singles! This book is like one big 'Aha!' moment. -- Rachel Greenwald, author of Find a Husband After 35 Using What I Learned at Harvard Business School, New York Times Bestseller

Mixing humor with practical tips, the authors pack a lot of relevant information into this slim volume. -- Library Journal

Puts itself at the head of the class by proving it's possible to let readers laugh while they learn. -- Dr. Ian Kerner, author of She Comes First and Be Honest- You're Not That Into Him Either

About the Author

Linda Holmes is a columnist for Television Without Pity and MSNBC.com and a frequent contributor to TV Guide.

Billed as a "personal trainer for smart, strong, successful women," dating coach Evan Marc Katz has been helping singles find love since 2003. Dozens of his clients have gotten married, started families, and found happiness - after only a few months of phone coaching.
 
Katz started his career in customer care at JDate, during which he wrote his first book, "I Can't Believe I'm Buying This Book: A Commonsense Guide to Successful Internet Dating" (Ten Speed Press, 2004). His follow-up venture, E-Cyrano, was the first company that wrote online dating profiles for thousands of frustrated singles. Quickly, Katz realized that people needed support in all aspects of dating, and expanded his suite of services into dating coaching.
 
But like many experts who say one thing and do another, Katz began to notice his own hypocrisy. His second book, "Why You're Still Single - Things Your Friends Would Tell You If You Promised Not to Get Mad" (Plume, 2006), was a critical success, yet the dating coach was ignoring the very same advice that was leading his clients to love.
 
It wasn't until Katz took his own wisdom that he met his future wife - and became a much better dating coach in the process. By opening up to a new kind of partner, Katz proved that to get different results in love, you have to make different choices. He's very glad he did.
 
These days, Katz works primarily with the clients with whom he most identifies - smart, strong, successful women who have everything... except a lasting relationship.
 
Evan Marc Katz is married and lives in Los Angeles with his wife. His third book: Why He Disappeared - The Smart, Strong, Successful Woman's Guide to Understanding Men and Keeping the Right One Hooked Forever is available on his website.

Product Details

• Reading level: Ages 18 and up
  
• Paperback: 176 pages
• Publisher: Plume (May 30, 2006)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0452287383
• ISBN-13: 978-0452287389
• Product Dimensions: 5 x 7.9 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 4.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (26 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #222,042 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Billed as a "personal trainer for smart, strong, successful women," dating coach Evan Marc Katz has been helping singles find love since 2003. Dozens of his clients have gotten married, started families, and found happiness - after only a few months of phone coaching.

It's an unlikely career for a man - much less a man who was called a "serial dater" by CNN - yet that's what makes Katz such a unique coach.

By helping women understand men - what they think, how they act, and what they really want - he empowers them to make healthy, informed choices in love. Katz likens his 12-week Commitment Course to a Masters Degree in Men, and the metaphor is apt. His clients invariably find their education about men lessens their frustration and increases their likelihood of attracting a like-minded long-term partner.

Katz started his career in customer care at JDate, during which he wrote his first book, "I Can't Believe I'm Buying This Book: A Commonsense Guide to Successful Internet Dating" (Ten Speed Press, 2004). Its release coincided with the online dating boom, and soon, Katz found himself in high demand, with features in USA Today, The Wall St. Journal, and Time Magazine.

His follow-up venture, E-Cyrano, was the first company that wrote online dating profiles for thousands of frustrated singles. Quickly, Katz realized that people needed support in all aspects of dating, and expanded his suite of services into dating coaching...even though he'd never had a relationship longer than 8 months.

The irony didn't escape him, and Katz gave his blog the tagline: "Because Who Knows More About Dating than a Guy Who's Still Dating?" The blog soon became the centerpiece of his site, with Katz answering hundreds of reader questions with logic, wit and empathy, like the unlikely spawn of Dr. Drew, Adam Carolla and Dear Abby.

But like many experts who say one thing and do another, Katz began to notice his own hypocrisy. His second book, "Why You're Still Single - Things Your Friends Would Tell You If You Promised Not to Get Mad" (Plume, 2006), was a critical success, yet the dating coach was ignoring the very same advice that was leading his clients to love.

It wasn't until Katz took his own wisdom that he met his future wife - and became a much better dating coach in the process. By opening up to a new kind of partner, Katz proved that to get different results in love, you have to make different choices. He's very glad he did.

These days, Katz works primarily with the clients with whom he most identifies - smart, strong, successful women who have everything... except a lasting relationship. With an array of products, group coaching, and one-on-one coaching, Katz offers something for every single woman who wants to get better results in her love life.

Evan Marc Katz is married and lives in Los Angeles with his incredibly cool, incredibly patient, incredibly beautiful wife.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

69 of 77 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars Not really for men, June 29, 2007

By 

John Wheeler "Jaydubya" - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Why You're Still Single (Paperback)

I read all the previous reviews before buying this book and I was geniunely excited about purchasing it because someone earlier said that even if you're a guy or gal, you can find something useful in this book. That's not entirely accurate and after re-reading the reviews, I think they were all written by women.

Let me start off by saying how dissapointed I am in the whole "self-help dating-books" market. Almost all of the books for men are geared towards helping them be better players, to get more phone numbers, to get more dates, to get more sex. Almost all the "self-help dating-books" that are geared towards women are about being a great woman, to find stability, to find great relationships, to find love, to find marriage. Essentially, most dating books assume that men don't want stability and love and that sometimes women don't just wanna get laid. I guess the assumption is based on the belief that a women can get sex whenever she wants (so there's no point in giving her instructions) and that a man can settle down whenever he wants (so there's no point in giving him instructions).

I thought this book, since it was written by both a man and a woman, would FINALLY be the book that helped both men AND women find love, stability, and a fulfilling relationship. I was so wrong. The gist of the book is to tell women to stop being crazy and realize that some parts of dating life are unfair, so get over it. Evan is FAR more interesting than Linda and I found myself skipping over her parts and just reading his. I found some little gems in the book such as women that I should avoid and some things that women are looking for; however, the book was a waste of my money and will be a waste of most men's money. I give it two stars only because I know now what I should avoid. However, if you're a man and you don't have much success with the ladies, try another book.

40 of 49 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars Nothing New, November 24, 2007

By 

Elisa 20 - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (TOP 500 REVIEWER)   

This review is from: Why You're Still Single (Paperback)

Nothing new and not even funny (which seems to be the main intent). Much too focused on generalizing about women's flaws and how these supposedly limit chances for relationships.

This book won't change your life--or even provide a good laugh. (The irony that neither author is him/her-self successful in maintaining a long-term relationship seems lost on both of these "advice-givers"). Not recommended.

67 of 92 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars "Desperation knows no gender boundaries.", May 30, 2006

By 

Luan Gaines "luansos" (Dana Point, CA USA) - See all my reviews
(TOP 500 REVIEWER)    (VINE VOICE)    (HALL OF FAME REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Why You're Still Single (Paperback)

This clever book addresses dating negatives or stumbling blocks from both the male and female perspective with suggestions on how to turn them into positive, mutually reinforcing attributes. According to the authors, everything has an opposite; this guide attempts to dissect the common stereotypical negatives and reframe them into positive, action-oriented approaches. Each chapter deals with particular obstacles, providing the male and female response to overcoming common problems in a manner that is empowering and personally instructive. But it is your journey in the end. The topics are spicy: The Desperation Tango, Women Who Hate Men Who Hate Women, Everything You Say Can and Will Be Used against You, Good Girls Don't and Deal Breakers, to name but a few. Plainspoken and to the point, the guide is simple, practical, and above all, positive, the real message valuable beyond the humorous rhetoric.

Linda Holmes is Paula Abdul to Evan Marc Katz's Simon, but this isn't a competition, it's a journey and one that offers many helpful lessons if defenses are removed. Every blunt word Evan utters, Linda tempers, smoothing the edges and reworking the dialog into female-friendly advice that women will easily relate to. It is interesting to note how each author, male and female, perceive the obstacles, the Venus and Mars approach, but both are written with an eye to solutions. In a conversational tone, each issue is discussed, all couched in the current pop rhetoric that is so familiar to the dating scene. Clearly, these are common sense approaches, but sometimes people need extra help sorting through the baggage of old behavior before moving on to the new and improved. The remarks may be couched in yin and yang, but the intent is the same, a fresh look at the dating scene, armed with the tools for a successful endeavor.

Some of the suggestions: Don't isolate- go out into the world when you can and interact; Desperation is a recipe for failure- don't set a wedding date the first time you meet him; Don't generalize- "all men are dogs"- treat each new date as an individual, not a means to an end; Insecurity is unattractive- instead, learn to know and love yourself to attract a like-minded person (we attract what we are); Don't mistake emotional clutter for emotional complexity (!!!); Have the confidence to say no without guilt and weigh the other person's reaction and willingness to consider your beliefs and opinions. These are only a few of the many ideas worth serious consideration. Seem like too tall an order? Not if you are stuck in a rut and seriously need to rework your dating skills. There are enough small gems in these pages to reinvigorate even the most pitiful dating repertoire. It's all in the perspective. Luan Gaines/ 2006.