Customer Reviews

Why You're Still Single

5 star:		(13)
4 star:		(5)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(5)

 

 

I read all the previous reviews before buying this book and I was geniunely excited about purchasing it because someone earlier said that even if you're a guy or gal, you can find something useful in this book. That's not entirely accurate and after re-reading the reviews, I think they were all written by women.

Let me start off by saying how dissapointed I am in the whole "self-help dating-books" market. Almost all of the books for men are geared towards helping them be better players, to get more phone numbers, to get more dates, to get more sex. Almost all the "self-help dating-books" that are geared towards women are about being a great woman, to find stability, to find great relationships, to find love, to find marriage. Essentially, most dating books assume that men don't want stability and love and that sometimes women don't just wanna get laid. I guess the assumption is based on the belief that a women can get sex whenever she wants (so there's no point in giving her instructions) and that a man can settle down whenever he wants (so there's no point in giving him instructions).

I thought this book, since it was written by both a man and a woman, would FINALLY be the book that helped both men AND women find love, stability, and a fulfilling relationship. I was so wrong. The gist of the book is to tell women to stop being crazy and realize that some parts of dating life are unfair, so get over it. Evan is FAR more interesting than Linda and I found myself skipping over her parts and just reading his. I found some little gems in the book such as women that I should avoid and some things that women are looking for; however, the book was a waste of my money and will be a waste of most men's money. I give it two stars only because I know now what I should avoid. However, if you're a man and you don't have much success with the ladies, try another book.

Nothing new and not even funny (which seems to be the main intent). Much too focused on generalizing about women's flaws and how these supposedly limit chances for relationships.

This book won't change your life--or even provide a good laugh. (The irony that neither author is him/her-self successful in maintaining a long-term relationship seems lost on both of these "advice-givers"). Not recommended.

This clever book addresses dating negatives or stumbling blocks from both the male and female perspective with suggestions on how to turn them into positive, mutually reinforcing attributes. According to the authors, everything has an opposite; this guide attempts to dissect the common stereotypical negatives and reframe them into positive, action-oriented approaches. Each chapter deals with particular obstacles, providing the male and female response to overcoming common problems in a manner that is empowering and personally instructive. But it is your journey in the end. The topics are spicy: The Desperation Tango, Women Who Hate Men Who Hate Women, Everything You Say Can and Will Be Used against You, Good Girls Don't and Deal Breakers, to name but a few. Plainspoken and to the point, the guide is simple, practical, and above all, positive, the real message valuable beyond the humorous rhetoric.

Linda Holmes is Paula Abdul to Evan Marc Katz's Simon, but this isn't a competition, it's a journey and one that offers many helpful lessons if defenses are removed. Every blunt word Evan utters, Linda tempers, smoothing the edges and reworking the dialog into female-friendly advice that women will easily relate to. It is interesting to note how each author, male and female, perceive the obstacles, the Venus and Mars approach, but both are written with an eye to solutions. In a conversational tone, each issue is discussed, all couched in the current pop rhetoric that is so familiar to the dating scene. Clearly, these are common sense approaches, but sometimes people need extra help sorting through the baggage of old behavior before moving on to the new and improved. The remarks may be couched in yin and yang, but the intent is the same, a fresh look at the dating scene, armed with the tools for a successful endeavor.

Some of the suggestions: Don't isolate- go out into the world when you can and interact; Desperation is a recipe for failure- don't set a wedding date the first time you meet him; Don't generalize- "all men are dogs"- treat each new date as an individual, not a means to an end; Insecurity is unattractive- instead, learn to know and love yourself to attract a like-minded person (we attract what we are); Don't mistake emotional clutter for emotional complexity (!!!); Have the confidence to say no without guilt and weigh the other person's reaction and willingness to consider your beliefs and opinions. These are only a few of the many ideas worth serious consideration. Seem like too tall an order? Not if you are stuck in a rut and seriously need to rework your dating skills. There are enough small gems in these pages to reinvigorate even the most pitiful dating repertoire. It's all in the perspective. Luan Gaines/ 2006.

*About the Book:*

The subtitle: "things your friends would tell you if you promised not to get mad" is quite on target because certain chapters either make you mad at yourself or at your friends and family for never pointing them out, whether you got mad or not. The book is divided into eight sections:

I. You're knocking Yourself Out of the Game
II. You're Just Not That into Yourself
III. You're Being a Bitch
IV. You Know How to Be the Girl Friend, but Not the Girlfriend
V. You're the Patron Saint of Lost Causes
VI. You Fight Like a Girl
VII. You're Boring Him in the Bedroom
VIII. You're Missing the Signals for When to Get Out ... and When to Stick Around

Armed with a sense of cheek and at times downright irreverance, the authors take you through a journey of contemplation, emphasizing your sense of worth and the bottom line, you have a right to choice: to be single or not and to be a happy single or not.

Key positives: (For me)

**The authors' voice is that of everyday folk who happen to be single and not gods on a pedestal who have rarified advice to share.
**The authors themselves are still single so you're not hearing about being single from someone who sleeps with a human blanket.
**The authors keep it real (translation: blunt). At times a little too real (for me) in terms of language and approach to topic.
**The book encompasses the male and female point of view, therefore is not one-sided.

Key Negatives: (For me)

**Irreverence.
**Blue language.

Rating:

This book earned 4 out 5 stars for humor, honesty and sustained relevance throughout the book.

I picked up a copy of this book because I am a fan of Evan Marc Katz's articles and blog. Much of the advice written here is common sense for down-to-earth women, however, I see many women who would do well to heed the words of wisdom within the book. It's also engagingly written, and a quick read. But even for those down-to-earth folks, there are some gems in here that really help me in my own thinking.

I found the best chapters to be:

Guys Don't Go Both Ways
Deal Breakers (particularly Linda's piece)
Hitting on 20

There's good advice in here, and it's not all new agey, which tends to cause me to stay away from dating and self-help books. Groundbreaking? Not exactly. Enjoyable? Yes.

It was actually pretty good. It helped me look at things a bit differently, and examine a few repetitive dating errors I have. I really liked the male/female prospective. I also liked the humor and the frankness of the book. The only thing I didn't like was that they were writing more about the time when you are in the relationship seriously, not more on what you are doing wrong on first impressions and a few casual dates. I guess that's what I had the impression this book was about. All in all, it was informative and enlightening.

I think this book has some good ideas, and makes you think about your habits that may be driving people away. But it really didn't tell me anything I didn't already know. The two points of view, man and woman, were also helpful. This book was ok but not really worth the money. I'm still single.

The reason I rarely go to close friends for relationship advice is that I think they will be too much on MY side and condemn the man in question. While condemning men is certainly fun, it's not generally productive. So I really like that these authors have the [..] to tell me to look at myself and my own behavior. I truly and honestly had some Eureka moments here. I'm not even single right now, but this book kept me interested with its smart humor and chatty tone. Not all the advice and situations felt applicable to me personally, but I definitely recognized myself in some chapters. I usually find that humorous books pack no punch and are filled with silly sidebars, but this team managed to make me giggle AND think, with advice from both a man and a woman. A powerful combo! You can zip through this book quickly because it's fun, but the issues will keep you thinking for much longer.

I really enjoyed this book, and the only thing that is disappointing is the title because the book speaks to all of us whether we are single or not. The title could be "Why You're Still Unhappy" or "Why You're Still Unhappy Even Though You Are In A Relationship". The points in this book are basic ways to relate better to our fellow human beings and ourselves. It takes a lot of people a long time to learn the lesson that "it is all about me and not about them". Some people never learn it and are still looking for a partner to fill the voids in their lives.

The book's intriguing title caught my eye and I am not even single! I do have friends, co-workers and family members who are single and think that this book is a "must read" for them. In fact, I have recommended the book to my office colleagues who bought the book and told me that they really enjoyed the conversational prose and "common sense" advice suggested by the authors. Yes, the book even has instructive recommendations for situations relevant to those of us who have been married for many years. I especially enjoyed the witty and engaging writing style of Evan and Linda; the male and female perspectives of solving problems that everyone encounters in the dating/relationship scenes. The titles of the chapters are humorous but the messages in the text are sound, instructive and proactive. Read the book; it offers good, practical advice to all of us.