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You've Got Male [Mass Market Paperback]

Elizabeth Bevarly (Author)
2.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)


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Book Description

April 1, 2008
Can you really find the perfect man online?

Avery Nesbitt thought she might have struck online-dating gold—Adrian was perfect onscreen. But as the adage goes, if something seems too good to be true… Before Avery knows it, a flesh-and-blood man calling himself Dixon breaks in to her home. Apparently she's been under surveillance by his agency for some time, and now she's in deep, deep trouble.

Dixon has worked for OPUS for years, and he's wanted to get his hands on Adrian Padgett for most of them. He assumes that Avery is part of Adrian's criminal pursuits. But could she possibly be as innocent as she's claiming?

One thing's for sure—if Avery agrees to go undercover for OPUS, she and Dixon will be working in very close quarters.…


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Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Avery Nesbitt was in love. Madly, passionately,

wildly in love. She was besotted. She was bedazzled. She was befuddled. She was in love as she'd never been in love before.

And it was with a man who went beyond dreamy. He was smart and witty. He was creative and articulate. He was handsome and sexy. He always said what she needed to hear, right when she needed to hear it. He knew her backward and forward, just as she knew him inside and out. And he loved her exactly the way she was. That, more than anything else, had sealed her fate and ensured that her love would last forever. Andrew Paddington made Avery feel as if nothing in her life would ever go wrong again. He was just perfect in every way.

The bastard.

Theirs had been a whirlwind courtship, had come at Avery out of nowhere and swept her into a fantasy worthy of an epic romance. Andrew was in her thoughts and her dreams, in her plans and her performance, in her ego and her id. He filled her days with delight and her nights with pleasure, imbued her with joy that made her downright giddy. And that was no small accomplishment for a woman who was normally pragmatic, cynical and down-to-earth. Although Avery had only met him a month ago, she'd known after that first encounter that their meeting must have been destiny. Fate. Kismet. It was simply Meant To Be.

Bastard.

What difference did it make if they'd never actually met in person? Physical trappings weren't what love was about. Love was a meeting of minds, a melding of souls, a blending of hearts. Besides, they'd exchanged photos, and the ones he'd sent to her depicted him as a sandy-haired twentysomething with the eyes of a poet, the mouth of a troubadour, the hands of an artist and phenomenal pecs. He was an utter, unmitigated masterpiece.

Bastard, bastard, bastard.

Who cared if they'd never actually spoken to each other? Vocal avowals of devotion were as nebulous and inconstant as the wind. Avery had Andrew's love for her in writing. In the loveliest prose she'd ever read, words—feelings—wrought so tenderly, they would move a despot to tears. After only four weeks, she had a file filled with his e-mails to her and she'd logged every chat-room exchange they'd shared in a special folder titled Snookypie. On those nights when she was alone and feeling dreamy and lovey-dovey, she lit candles and opened a bottle of wine, then read over his words again and again, pretending he was right there in her Central Park West condo, murmuring them into her ear.

Bastard squared.

But now the unthinkable was happening. Andrew was cheating on her with another woman. And Avery was finding out about it just as women did on those bad made-for-cable movies. She'd walked in on him and found him in bed with another woman.

Well, okay, figuratively speaking. What had actually happened was that she'd stumbled upon him online, blabbing away with some cheap bit of cyberfluff in, of all places, a Survivor: Mall of America chat room. This after Andrew had assured Avery that he loathed popular culture as much as she did. But what really toasted her melbas was that the cyberfluff he was chatting with, who went by the screen name of—Avery had to bite back her nausea when she saw it—Tinky Belle, was clearly an idiot. But Andrew was agreeing with her that the music of Clay Aiken could, if people would just open their eyes and ears and hearts to it, bring peace and harmony to the entire planet.

Bastard cubed.

Unable to believe her eyes, Avery felt around until she located the chair in front of her desk and clumsily pulled it out. Then she nearly missed the surface of her desk when she set her bowl of Cajun popcorn and the bottle of Wild Cherry Pepsi on top of it. She tugged at her electric-blue pajama pants spattered with images of French landmarks and numbly sat down, adjusting the oversize purple sweatshirt boasting Wellesley College as she did. Then she wiggled her toes in her fuzzy pink slippers to warm them, adjusted her little black-framed glasses on the bridge of her nose, pushed one of two long, thick black braids over her shoulder and studied the screen more closely.

Maybe she was wrong, she thought as she watched the rapid-fire exchange scroll by. She shouldn't jump to conclusions. Surely Andrew wasn't the only guy out there in cyberspace who used the handle Mad2Live. It was a phrase from On the Road, after all. And there were probably lots of Kerouac fans online. Andrew loved Avery. He'd told her so. He wouldn't cheat on her like this. Especially not with some brainless ninny who said things like, "ur 2 kewl mad."

Please, people! she wanted to shout at the screen whenever she saw message-board shorthand. Speak English! Or Spanish! Or French! Or German! Or some legitimate language that indicates you're at least halfway literate! And capitalize where necessary! And for God's sake, punctuate!

Even though she was a computer geek in the most extreme sense of the word, Avery couldn't bring herself to type in anything other than the language she'd learned growing up in the Hamptons. Tony private schools could mess with you in a lot of ways, she knew, but at least they taught you to be well-spoken. That shouldn't change just because your language of choice was cyber-speak.

She watched Mad2Live and Tinky Belle—gag—swap warm fuzzies for as long as she could stomach it and ultimately decided there was no way that this Mad2Live could be Andrew. Andrew would never, ever concede that the Survivor series was, as Tinky Belle claimed, "qualty educatnl programing u cn wach w/ the hole famly."

Oh, yes, Avery thought. It's definitely mus c tv.

She was about to leave the chat room to visit another—she was, after all, supposed to be working—when Mad2Live posted something that made her fingers convulse on the mouse: You, Tinky Belle, are a dazzling blossom of hope burgeoning at the center of an unforgiving cultural wasteland.

Acid heat splashed through Avery's belly when she read that. Because those were the exact words Andrew had used to describe her that first night they met in a Henry James chat room. Except for the Tinky Belle part, since Avery's screen name—at least that night—had been Daisy Miller. There was no way there could be two Mad2Lives on the Internet flirting with women by calling them dazzling blossoms of hope who burgeoned in cultural wastelands. That was Andrew—her Andrew—through and through.

After that it was impossible forAvery to ignore Tinky and Mad's conversation. And as she watched the lines of dialogue on her screen roll past, she read more and more from Mad2Live that was pulled verbatim from some of the e-mails Andrew had sent to her. And she should know, since she'd practically memorized some of them.

Had she mentioned he was a complete bastard?

Eventually Tinky bade farewell to Mad and evaporated from the chat room, and Avery watched in astonishment as he immediately began to flirt with another occupant, this one calling herself Deb2000. But Deb wasn't impressed by any of Mad's cajoling, so, obviously disgruntled, Mad signed out of the chat room.

And Avery followed him.

Luckily she had dozens of screen names she used for her work and she could log in to rooms under several that Andrew would never recognize. And luckily, too, she knew the online community better than she knew even her own Manhattan neighborhood. Because the Internet was where Avery worked every single night. And it was where she played after she knocked off work. It was also where she shopped, where she learned and where she socialized. It was where she found her music, her books, her entertainment and her dinner selections.

Hell, she pretty much lived on the Net. And she knew Andrew almost as well as she knew the online community.

Or at least she'd thought she knew him that well. But now she was beginning to think him a complete stranger. Because he flitted from one chat room to another, all of them themed around shallow pop-culture subject matter—everything from Pilates to low-carb cuisine—and in every one of them he waited long enough to identify which of the room's inhabitants were female and which seemed to be the least, uh, bright. And then he chose one and began to work on her in exactly the way he had worked on Avery that first night he'd encountered her. And shame boiled within her when she realized that she had capitulated to his pretty words as easily as had women who thought deep-fried pork flesh was an essential part of good nutrition.

How could he do this to her? How could he think she was stupid? She? Avery Nesbitt? She wasn't stupid. She was a criminal genius! Even Time magazine had said so! And even if the criminal part was debatable, once a genius, always a genius. How could he cheat on her this way? And be so obvious about it? He knew how good she was. He knew what she did for a living and how much time she spent online. He knew everything about her. She'd even told him about her past transgressions, and he hadn't flinched. He'd told her her past didn't matter, that anything that had happened before the day he met her wasn't important because he didn't start living until the day he met her.

Oh, he was such a bastard.

Well, she'd fix Andrew. Not only would she dump him faster than you could say, "Survivor: Up Yours," but she'd give him something to remember her by, too. She'd blow off work and stay up all night if she had to to concoct just the right farewell gift.

Of course, being up all night wasn't exactly a sacrifice to Avery, since she pretty much lived her life at night anyway. Nighttime didn't have rules or expectations the way daytime hours did. So when most people were coming home from their jobs and starting to wind down, Avery was rising and revving to go. And when most people's alarm clocks were going off and signaling the beginning of their workday, Avery was pouring herself a scotch and popping a DVD of a Cracker mystery into the player and trying to wind down. Unfortunately, she'd never been as good at winding down as she was at revving up.

Because Avery Nesbitt was what some people—those who c...


Product Details

  • Mass Market Paperback: 384 pages
  • Publisher: HQN Books (April 1, 2008)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0373772769
  • ISBN-13: 978-0373772766
  • Product Dimensions: 6.8 x 4.4 x 1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 2.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,760,039 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Elizabeth Bevarly is the award-winning, New York Times bestselling author of more than sixty works of contemporary romance. Her books have been published in two dozen languages and three dozen countries, totaling more than ten million copies in print worldwide. Although she can't remember wanting to be anything other than a writer, her career side trips before publication included stints as a salesclerk, waitress, bartender and editorial assistant. She has called home places as diverse as New Jersey and Puerto Rico, but now lives in her native Kentucky with her husband and son.

She is delighted to be offering some of her out-of-print works on Kindle and is looking forward to the publication of her first women's fiction title in trade paperback. THE HOUSE ON BUTTERFLY WAY will be published by Berkley Trade in February 2012. Visit her website at www.elizabethbevarly.com or, even better, "like" her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/ElizabethBevarlyReaderPage.

 

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Average Customer Review
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0 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars Unfinished plots and subplots make it a sheer disappointment, January 25, 2009
This review is from: You've Got Male (Mass Market Paperback)
Where this book went RIGHT: she created a main character, Avery, with whom I could feel very connected. She made me care about this character in a very good way. The love interest for this character was also very good - and I could care about him. So far so good.

Where this book went WRONG: Too many subplots. The spy partner and sister were written in as if they were the main characters so strongly at times - yet their story was never resolved. Far into the book, a character came into the picture with a strange tale which had no impact whatsoever on the story of Avery and her spy situation. Why have it? It should have been cut. The main point of Avery's endeavors - and the main goal of her spy boyfriend was built up to a major climax - and then fizzled out with no resolution. What a let down to not know what happened to the bad guy after making us want him caught - where'd he go? Gone? What the ... what a horrible way to treat your readers. All in all - this was a strongly disappointing read.

Another issue with this book: Info Dumps. The author would have the story moving along nicely building tension (most of which never resolved) and then go into 'info dump' mode which means she dumped out pages of back-history on a character to tell us about them. Don't tell me - show me. Those info dumps were incredibly boring and pulled me out of the action too often.

Overall - I was always taught that subplots shouldn't compete with the main plot - but should only support it. I was also taught that all conflicts within the story should resolve together and completely in the end of the novel. This book did none of those things. I won't bother reading any more of her novels - and I'm going to be suspicious about the quality of the publisher as well.
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