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Zachary Zombie and the Lost Boy (Stories for Demented Children) [Kindle Edition]

John H. Carroll
4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (41 customer reviews)

Kindle Price: $0.99

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Book Description

This is a SHORT STORY approximately 4100 words, which translates to about 22 printed pages.

Zachary is the personal zombie of Gert the Wicked Witch. She sent him to fetch newts from the forest. Along the way, he finds a lost boy named Tobias who had been following an emo bunny in the hopes of holding it and making it feel better. When the boy asks nicely for help getting to his home in the village, Zachary agrees.
Along the way, they run into a cranky stag and a pretty woman who dreams of meeting a prince. A party in the cemetery isn't the proper place to take a boy, but zombies aren't always proper and one of the worst things about villagers is that they always seem to have a supply of pitchforks and torches.
Will the boy make it home? Will Zachary give in to the craving for brainsss?
Caution: This story is not for normal children. If you have any intention of raising a well adjusted child, this is not the right tale for you.


Editorial Reviews

About the Author

John H. Carroll was the youngest of seven children and was born in Atlanta, Georgia in 1970 where he was kept in a dresser drawer with the clean socks. Luckily he wasn't kept with the dirty socks or else he might have grown up to become slightly warped.

As a child, John spent most of his time wandering through the Mojave Desert in an attempt to avoid people. He would stare at the sky, imagining what it would be like to explore different worlds. One of his favorite memories is watching his dad build the fuselage of Evil Kneivel's skycycle in their garage. One of his least favorite moments was watching that skycycle fall into the Snake River. (Not his dad's fault and he has documentation to prove it, so nyah)

As a teenager, John spent most of his time driving wherever he could in an attempt to avoid people. He would stare at the road, imagining what it would be like to explore different worlds. He was the captain of the chess team and lettered in golf and band while in high school and wasn't beaten up anywhere near as much as one might imagine.

As an adult, John spent most of his time staring at a computer screen in an attempt to avoid people. He stares at the monitor for hours, imagining what it would be like to explore different worlds. He has been married to his wonderful wife for 14 years and they have three obnoxio . . . wonderful children who always behave . . . when they're asleep.

Rojuun is the first book of a series that will continue for a while. He writes in the evenings and weekends whenever possible. Regrettably, the family mentioned in the previous paragraph desires food and shelter, requiring the author to possess a full time job until such time as his writing makes him rich.

Product Details

  • File Size: 1483 KB
  • Print Length: 18 pages
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
  • Publisher: John H. Carroll (May 6, 2011)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B004ZR02XO
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #836,808 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
10 of 11 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Dementedly Funny May 26, 2011
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
In the way that young children frequently are - the young, lost village boy has absolutely no fear of the many residents in the woods near which his home stands. So that when a zombie stumbles into view just after Tobias realizes that he is lost, Tobias treats the zombie the same as any normal person and asks Zachary to take him back to his home.

I must say as a parent who taught my children manners - I was greatly tickled over how the zombie and everyone else would pause and comment on how nice it was that a little lost boy would still use "please" to politely ask for what he wanted. Maybe it was just me, but every time it happened it seemed to be funnier than the last time.

Possibly my absolute favorite scene in the story was the party in the graveyard. What a scream! Too, too funny - but if I give any more of it away, it will be a spoiler.

Some slightly unexpected twists as standard stereotypes get set at a different angle than we're used to. More ironic scenes as all the pieces pull together towards the end. I was laughing hysterically by the time I finished the very last scene.

Not a story for young children, but just fine for us older "demented children".
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7 of 8 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent Read May 26, 2011
By mlo
Format:Kindle Edition
My daughter who is 8 (and hates to read) absolutely loved this book and wished it was longer! She was laughing about the mushy faced zombie! If your child likes quirky stories and not the same bland fairytales they will love this story! Please check out this author's other story about the Emo bunny also very good!
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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Plain silly- Fun read aloud for Adults May 26, 2011
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
This was so silly- makes a fun read aloud for grown-ups. Short story about a lost young boy and his new found zombie friend. Have fun!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Enjoyable short read November 23, 2013
By Sama
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I really enjoyed this. It was a really short story but it was terribly funny in its own respect. It made fun of a lot of classic fairy tale elements, even mocking the dreaded mary sue.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars thanks :) July 31, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
This book was really good I really liked it, I didn't think I would but I did thank you so much!!!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Quick and fun. May 3, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
John H. Carroll, <strong>Zachary Zombie and the Lost Boy</strong> (John H. Carroll, 2011)

Amusing, if slight, comedy/parable about a zombie who has retained a bit of his intelligence and will and how he helps save the lost boy of the title from the teeth of his contemporaries. Certainly not the worst thing I read last month, though I wish the author had taken a few more chances and strolled down another "what-if?" path or two, it's just about silly enough to melt your resistance (and then whack you in the face with the ending once your guard is down). Not bad. ** ½
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Z. Zombie April 21, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Like the other "Demented" books, this is an entertaining read for an older child (or at least a mature one.) Zachary Zombie is probably the most disturbing "Demented" book that I've read. I actually had to pause and re-read the scene with the girl on the cliff because I couldn't believe what I had just read in a children's book. Shocking, but still funny.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Cute Story... February 13, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Cute in a Lemony Snicket kind of way, that is. I was expecting something a little longer, but this was a neat little short story. Very much in the Lemony Snicket vein, and I enjoyed it. I have no problem recommending this for early adolescents or the early-adolescent at heart :)
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars Cute book
Zachary Zombie and the Lost Boy was a great short story. I enjoyed it a lot. I will definitely be reading more of John H. Carroll's books in the future.
Published 4 months ago by Amazon Customer
3.0 out of 5 stars My 9 year old son read it.
My kids downloaded this book to their tablet. It was free through my prime membership. They read and enjoyed the content.
Published 9 months ago by Shorty9P
2.0 out of 5 stars Worth reading if you enjoy the author's work
If you enjoy Carroll's "Stories for Demented Children" collection (Unholy Cow, A Story for Demented Children (Stories for Demented Children), Attack of the Sugar Plum Fairies, A... Read more
Published 11 months ago by morehumanthanhuman
1.0 out of 5 stars not for children
This entire series is pointless and not for children of any age group. I was very disappointed that I had gotten all the books before reading a couple to find out what they were
Published 12 months ago by Sunny
5.0 out of 5 stars Good book
I love this book it is funny,fascinating and great for all age groups especially tweens or teenagers they would love to read as I did.
Published 12 months ago by Kimberly A. Sims
1.0 out of 5 stars boring
lost interest in two pages. Cliched and unfunny. Not worth even the free download--don't waste your time on this book.
Published 13 months ago by Goole
1.0 out of 5 stars A disappointment
This is not a good book at all. :( I thought this book would be better. This was truly a disappointment.
Published 14 months ago by Denver heneghan
3.0 out of 5 stars Cute read
This was a great short read. Another Kindle freebee and it was worth more that and paid for it. A children's story not really meant for children had me laughing to my self thought... Read more
Published 14 months ago by Chris Brunner
4.0 out of 5 stars A Great Bedtime Story for Demented Parents to Read to Their Demented...
This was a great little bedtime story for demented parents to read to their demented children. Kinda makes me wish I had children... and then I snap out of it. Read more
Published 15 months ago by Jessica M. Bush
4.0 out of 5 stars Funny Zombie story
I never thought I would enjoy a zombie tale, but my husband told me this was a funny short story. A quick read, and it is funny and quirky. Read more
Published 15 months ago by Kelley
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More About the Author

John H. Carroll was the youngest of seven children and was born in Atlanta, Georgia in 1970 where he was kept in a dresser drawer with the clean socks. Luckily, he wasn't kept with the dirty socks or else he might have grown up to become slightly warped.

As a child, John spent most of his time wandering through the Mojave Desert in an attempt to avoid people. He would stare at the sky, imagining what it would be like to explore different worlds. One of his favorite memories is watching his dad build the fuselage of Evel Kneivel's skycycle in their garage. One of his least favorite moments was watching that skycycle fall into the Snake River. (Not his dad's fault and he has documentation to prove it, so nyah)

As a teenager, John spent most of his time driving wherever he could in an attempt to avoid people. He would stare at the road, imagining what it would be like to explore different worlds. He was the captain of the chess team, lettered in golf and band while in high school, and wasn't beaten up anywhere near as much as one might imagine.

As an adult, John spends most of his time staring at a computer screen in an attempt to avoid people. He stares at the monitor for hours, imagining what it would be like to explore different worlds. He has been married to his wonderful wife for sixteen years and they have three obnoxio . . . wonderful children who always behave . . . when they're asleep.

Emo bunny minions surround John at most times. He is their imaginary friend and they look to him for guidance. At one point, they took over the world. No one noticed because they left everything exactly as it was. They gave the world back after a week because it was depressing.

The Willden Trilogy is his first endeavor into the field of writing. Other series and standalone works will be forthcoming. In addition, John has written a number of short stories that can be found at most eBook sites. He writes in the evenings and weekends whenever possible. Regrettably, the family mentioned in a previous paragraph desires food and shelter, requiring the author to possess a full time job until his writing makes him rich.

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