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Zen and the Art of Falling in Love Hardcover – January 7, 2003


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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 272 pages
  • Publisher: Simon & Schuster; 1st edition (January 7, 2003)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0743243358
  • ISBN-13: 978-0743243353
  • Product Dimensions: 7.2 x 5.2 x 1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 11.5 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (18 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #466,483 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

To find love, take off your shoes, sit on a cushion and do nothing, advises the author of Zen Miracles. These and 10 other Zen-based practices, Shoshanna says, will help prepare you to receive love, and, eventually, to build lasting, meaningful relationships. Each Zen instruction is like "a metaphor for our entire lives": consciously taking off our shoes teaches us about mindfulness; sitting quietly on a cushion allows us to get to know ourselves and our patterns of behavior; doing nothing helps us learn to let go of our need to control things and people. Shoshanna goes on to explain how other practices, from cooking to "struggling with your koan," also help us find our way to being in love, "our natural state." For readers seeking hands-on, practical advice for romantic rejuvenation, Shoshanna's guide may feel as weightless as the smoke rising from the nearest incense burner: there are no chapters on the Zen method to approaching that office crush, or dating someone who already has children, for example. But readers searching for broader meaning will revel in her ability to weave together the basic tenets of relationship psychology with the self-realization techniques of Zen practice. Nor is Shoshanna's advice limited to affairs of the heart; much of her counsel-to be open, loving and full of faith-feels relevant to all aspects of life.
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Review

Marianne Williamsonbestselling author of A Return to LoveDr. Brenda Shoshanna's words are wonderful. -- Review

More About the Author

A psychologist and therapist for 28 years, Dr. Brenda Shoshanna published work has integrated psychology and spirituality in facing life's crucial questions. She is the author of numerous books in the spirituality, zen, psychology and relationship genres, including FEARLESS: 7 PRINCIPLES TO PEACE OF MIND, THE ANGER DIET: 30 DAYS TO STRESS FREE LIVING (listed as one of the best books of the year by Spirituality and Health), JEWISH DHARMA, ZEN AND THE ART OF FALLING IN LOVE, ZEN MIRACLES, WHY MEN LEAVE, GETTING HIM TO TALK, SAVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP, LIVING BY ZEN, EVERYDAY GRATITUDE and THE HAPPY MARRIAGE MANUAL.

Her books all offer psychological, practical and spiritual guidance, combining spiritual wisdom with psychological insight and practical advice. She has received wide critical-acclaim for all of her books, with excellent reviews from publications such as Tricycle, Publishers Weekly, Body & Soul and others, and she has won the NABE Award for the Best Book of the Year in the Category of Health. Her books have been translated into 18 languages, and she appears frequently on national television, in national print, and in major venues online (she is the Relationship Expert on iVillage.com). She has spoken and taught at many universities and has offered over 500 talks and workshops nationally on all aspects of psychology, spirituality and fulfilling one's potential. She also hosted her own radio show on the Gary Null network, which offered her a weekly platform to address a wide range of issues dealing with spirituality and self-help.

Please visit her website at www.drshoshanna.com, to learn more, and to watch video.

Customer Reviews

It was a great and easy read.
JoAnn C. Lee
Full of insights that will allow anyone to fall in love with others, with themselves and with life itself.
Anton Uhl
Read this book and pass it on to your friends and newly engaged or married couples!
Katy Hollbacher

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

16 of 16 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on September 10, 2003
Format: Hardcover
The most important love relationship one can have is the relationship with the source of the questions within. From there, all love grows. Brenda Shoshanna has written an engaging, thoughtful book. In it, she illustrates the ways in which we thwart our opportunities to know this inner source, and the ways in which we can let go of the desire and proclivity to do so. In letting go, beauty and love become self-evident - waking from a dream. Shoshanna's book is brilliant not only in demystifying Zen practice, but in applying it in real terms to relationships of all kinds. This is not a book to be read in one shot on a transatlantic flight. It is more a book to be digested thoroughly, chapter by chapter, in one's own time. Highly recommend, highly, highly.
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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful By DelfiniBlu on November 8, 2004
Format: Hardcover
This is one of the most profound books I have ever read that brilliantly looks at the truth and shows ways to fall in love eteranlly.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By nwall on April 5, 2006
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
This is an excellent book but only for those who have some understanding of what Zen Buddhism is and generally agree with its priciples, ideas and 'world-view'. If, on the other hand, you think that Buddhism/Zen is not your cup of tea or find it confusing/esoteric/strange, then you really won't get much out of this book.

For those of us who are lay or formal practitioners of Zen (it doesn't matter for how long), this book is one of it's kind in that it takes specific Zen practices/priciples and relates them to challenges and struggles a person faces when she/he is in a relationship.

My only issue is with some of the stories of 'real-life' people used by the author. They are meant to illustrate some point the author is trying to make but they end up being annoying, irrelevant or worse, counter-productive.

Overall: Highly recommended
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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful By JoAnn C. Lee on August 8, 2005
Format: Hardcover
This book has most definetly changed my outlook on how I see myself in relationships. It has helped me to take a more realistic and responsible stance when it comes to developing and maintaining loving relationships. It was a great and easy read. It was also one of those books where I got out my highlighter and marked all of the places in the book where I really wanted to remember that particular message or lesson. This book is one that I have recommended and even purchased for some of my good friends...it has really changed a lot for me! I am so glad this book popped into my life. I know it's one I'll continue to go back and read whenever I find myself struggling in relationships. Brenda Shoshanna is an utter genius!
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By A. Katz on July 28, 2007
Format: Paperback
I was surprised by the book. Rather than preaching on how to get a mate, or what he/she meant - this book gives a glimpse into the true essence of love: self love, wholeness, respect and serenity through zen examples. It was a joy reading and learning from.
Also recommended Don Miguel Ruiz's The Mastery of Love.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By Katy Hollbacher on January 17, 2009
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
I bought this book 6 or 7 years ago, having liked what I saw from a quick browsing at the bookstore, but I was so much more impressed than I ever could have hoped. For me, it has truly been life-changing. I read it a second time a few years ago and since then have left it on my bedside table--I might read a few pages or a chapter every week or month, and plan to "always" be reading it.

The approaches and lessons taught can be applied not only to love relationships, but to work and life in general. Some of the case studies can be a little cheesy, but I completely relate to so many examples that I'm amazed. I can be pretty "Type A" about certain things, and this has helped me to... enjoy the moment by setting aside expectations, learn to just be.

I think what this world needs is a lot more Zen. Read this book and pass it on to your friends and newly engaged or married couples!
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By W. Richard on January 22, 2009
Format: Paperback
I've read this book so many times and each time it helps. Every time my heart has been broken or I feel there is something going wrong in my life or relationships, I always find a quote or story in this book that comforts me or I find I can relate to. It makes me feel like I am not alone with my thoughts and pains. You'll want to take down notes and highlight passages. This is a fantastic book, and thank you, because it is one of the first things I reach for when I am hurting.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By J. Holowaty on April 27, 2009
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Zen and the Art of Falling in Love is a simple, insightful look at the enigma that is Love. It is a look into the truth of the matter - that Love is only attainable when we look inside of ourselves first - and really look ... not just cast a brief glance into who we are, where we've been, and what we've experienced.
The quotes interspersed throughout the book, as well as the "Stepping Stones" at the end of each chapter make this a book filled with practical, meangingful and real information that is sure to affect, inspire and find its way into your life (usually when you least expect it!).
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