Customer Reviews

Zen and the Art of Falling in Love

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i highly recommend this book! i have read many books on zen. i have also read many books on relationships. but not until i read this book did i have a clear picture on what zen practice really is. i was finally able to grasp its concepts and approach, which i found elusive in other books. thank you, Dr. Shoshanna! it made me want to practice. i used to think of zen as this mystical, unapproachable thing. now i see that i can do it too. i especially loved the zen stories. some were quite funny! i also loved the stories of the girls in the book that were having trouble with love. like i said, i've read many other relationship books, but this one really clicked for me. i liked how it looked at relationships through the eyes of zen practice, which is a nice fit. i found there were many profound insights to be gained! i also like the fact that Dr. Shoshanna is a Ph.D. psychologist. i feel ready to start over again on the rocky road of love!

The most important love relationship one can have is the relationship with the source of the questions within. From there, all love grows. Brenda Shoshanna has written an engaging, thoughtful book. In it, she illustrates the ways in which we thwart our opportunities to know this inner source, and the ways in which we can let go of the desire and proclivity to do so. In letting go, beauty and love become self-evident - waking from a dream. Shoshanna's book is brilliant not only in demystifying Zen practice, but in applying it in real terms to relationships of all kinds. This is not a book to be read in one shot on a transatlantic flight. It is more a book to be digested thoroughly, chapter by chapter, in one's own time. Highly recommend, highly, highly.

This book has most definetly changed my outlook on how I see myself in relationships. It has helped me to take a more realistic and responsible stance when it comes to developing and maintaining loving relationships. It was a great and easy read. It was also one of those books where I got out my highlighter and marked all of the places in the book where I really wanted to remember that particular message or lesson. This book is one that I have recommended and even purchased for some of my good friends...it has really changed a lot for me! I am so glad this book popped into my life. I know it's one I'll continue to go back and read whenever I find myself struggling in relationships. Brenda Shoshanna is an utter genius!

This is one of the most profound books I have ever read that brilliantly looks at the truth and shows ways to fall in love eteranlly.

This is an excellent book but only for those who have some understanding of what Zen Buddhism is and generally agree with its priciples, ideas and 'world-view'. If, on the other hand, you think that Buddhism/Zen is not your cup of tea or find it confusing/esoteric/strange, then you really won't get much out of this book.

For those of us who are lay or formal practitioners of Zen (it doesn't matter for how long), this book is one of it's kind in that it takes specific Zen practices/priciples and relates them to challenges and struggles a person faces when she/he is in a relationship.

My only issue is with some of the stories of 'real-life' people used by the author. They are meant to illustrate some point the author is trying to make but they end up being annoying, irrelevant or worse, counter-productive.

Overall: Highly recommended

I've read this book so many times and each time it helps. Every time my heart has been broken or I feel there is something going wrong in my life or relationships, I always find a quote or story in this book that comforts me or I find I can relate to. It makes me feel like I am not alone with my thoughts and pains. You'll want to take down notes and highlight passages. This is a fantastic book, and thank you, because it is one of the first things I reach for when I am hurting.

I bought this book 6 or 7 years ago, having liked what I saw from a quick browsing at the bookstore, but I was so much more impressed than I ever could have hoped. For me, it has truly been life-changing. I read it a second time a few years ago and since then have left it on my bedside table--I might read a few pages or a chapter every week or month, and plan to "always" be reading it.

The approaches and lessons taught can be applied not only to love relationships, but to work and life in general. Some of the case studies can be a little cheesy, but I completely relate to so many examples that I'm amazed. I can be pretty "Type A" about certain things, and this has helped me to... enjoy the moment by setting aside expectations, learn to just be.

I think what this world needs is a lot more Zen. Read this book and pass it on to your friends and newly engaged or married couples!

I was surprised by the book. Rather than preaching on how to get a mate, or what he/she meant - this book gives a glimpse into the true essence of love: self love, wholeness, respect and serenity through zen examples. It was a joy reading and learning from.
Also recommended Don Miguel Ruiz's The Mastery of Love.

Of the many relationship books I have read, this book alone has helped me understand male/female relationships and the pitfalls we all fall into. It also helps one understand our relationships with everybody else, even people who drive us crazy. It is an introduction to Zen Buddhism also, but in a form that does not overwhelm. I highly recommend this book, especially to people in problem relationships.

Well stated and simple. Deeply moving and insightful. The author gives helpful examples that allow the reader to identify with the thoughts and behaviors
that no longer serve us well.