Customer Reviews

Zenith Men's 96.0529.4035/51.M Defy Xtreme Tourbillon Titanium Chronograph Watch

5 star:		(134)
4 star:		(27)
3 star:		(27)
2 star:		(12)
1 star:		(55)

 

 

The Zenith Men's Defy Xtreme Tourbillon Titanium Chronograph Watch or Z.M.D.X.T.B.T.C.M. as I like to call it, is by far the most awesome watch. Chuck Norris riding into the Super Bowl on the back of Godzilla and round house kicking the crowd is no where near as awesome as this priceless poon magnet. When I was just moments from sending my $100k to some needy neo-hippie help group, I stumbled onto this gem. It was like the heavens opened and Jesus himself appeared with this same watch on. I mean how can you not follow Jesus when he's rocking a watch of this caliber. So I asked "What would Jesus do?" Jesus pimp smacked me and said "Forget those hippies, buy the watch!" I was like "HECK YEAH." I busted out my Discover card and bought this rocking piece of art. I mean its art but its also practical too. Like when I take my summer trips to the Marianas Trench, I have no more worries that I am going to miss Tea Time back on the yacht, because water ruined my watch again. It can withstand the immense pressures of the deep due to the wicked awesome titanium. Deep seas, cant beat this. Bullets cant beat this. Heck, I can deflect cruise missiles and the apocalypse. With a watch like this you don't need to tell time, you tell people what time it is.

I wasn't going to buy this watch, but then I noticed Amazon had it with $58,000 off! What a deal. With the money I saved I purchased a brand new BMW and still had money left over for a Disney vacation. How many watches save you money to buy a car and a vacation?

Now whenever I see someone with money troubles I tell them to buy this watch and save $58,000. I am considering buying 10 of these watches so I can save $580,000 and buy a house on cash. Retirement saving is also no longer a concern for me, as I plan to buy one every year and live off the $58,000 I save.

When I first bought this watch I had buyer's remorse. How could I possibly justify spending $[...] on a watch when I drive a 1992 Ford Festiva don't even own a home?

Then the most amazing this happened. Last night I was out at a bar with some friends. I walked up to the amazingly beautiful woman, and she looked at me, then my watch, and said the most wonderful thing, "Nice Watch." I took that opening and asked her for her number, and she laughed and told me to go away. Normally women just laugh and tell me to go away, so this was a huge improvement and worth every penny.

I had decided on this watch, but then I noticed the shipping charge. Outrageous! I'm shelling out close to 100k, and they want me to take care of the shipping too. Forget it!

I finally received my watch after 8 days not wanting to pay an extra $[...] for express shipping. As I opened the 24 carat golden box and viewed the watch for the very first time, I hear the faint sound of angels singing. It was the closest thing to an out of body experience. I could not wait to wear it to work the next day and show all of my co-workers at the sanitation department. The next morning, as I was driving to work, I looked into my rear view mirror and noticed a school bus weaving in and out of traffic and going at an excessive rate of speed. As it passed by me doing over 100mph, I realized that the brakes on the school bus were not working. This was horrible as the bus was loaded with small children. I knew that I had to do something quick as it was headed for a bad curve along a 200 foot cliff! I sped up and got right behind the bus just when it crashed through the guardrail and hurled over the edge of the cliff, I pressed the "stop time" button on my new Zenith 96.0529.4035 Xtreme watch. Everything around me simply froze in time except myself and my car. I exited my car, opened the back emergency door of the bus and carried every child out to safety. During this, I did stop for a brief moment and ate lunch from one of the lunch boxes that had fallen to the floor. I then started time back into movement and the bus hurled over the cliff into a huge ball of flames. 48 children lived that day due to my Zenith watch. Thank you Zenith.

I think a proper review of this watch needs to be done categorically.

Awesomeness: As one reviewer succintly put it, this watch is more awesome than Chuck Norris riding Godzilla. However, that statement indicates that the reviewer clearly has not realized the full awesomness of the watch, as depicted by its "Pandora Setting" whereby a holographic image of Chuck Norris suplexing Gandhi is displayed in full scale. When I first saw it I thought "yeah, that's pretty awesome, but what if I want him to do something different like punching Rosie O'donnel in the face?" Well, my friends, that option can be downloaded straight from the watch's own satellite.

Value: Poor people can't buy it, which makes it automatically better. The sad-face expressions on people at the soup kitchen when I show it off are beyond priceless. One time I made a guy think I was going to give it to him because he liked it, but then I was like "naw man, you would probably just sell it and buy a house or something. That's lame."

Ability to conquer foreign lands: This watch actually caused several earthquakes in third-world countries when I set my alarm for multiple time zones.

Ability to offend hippies: It offends hippies. All of them.

Ability to offend bleeding-heart whiners: This one chick was like "you could sell that and build a house for poor people!" And I was like "yeah, I totally could. But that would be stupid because then I wouldn't have this awesome watch." She was upset, which was pretty cool.

Ability to cure disease: If everyone bought this watch, absolutely no money would go to disease research and all the people with disease would die so all the disease would die with them. It's sound logic and in the owner's manual for the watch.

Ability to stop terrorists: I would say that Jack Bauer wears this watch, but this watch actually wears Jack Bauer as an accessory.

Faults: There is only one fault with this watch -- that it is priced low enough for wannabes and posers to buy it. I want a watch that only the most elite can afford; I don't want to see Joe Blow wearing this watch because then I would have to throw it away. That's why it got four stars instead of five.

Also, I bought two of them because I like to put them both in a cage and watch them fight for my love.

I was looking for G-Shock Casio watch for my camping trips and I somehow came across this wonderful timepiece on Amazon.
I liked the way it looked and I was so impressed by all the features that I forgot to look at the price and placed an order. First clue that something's not right came when I got a call from my credit card company about suspicious charge on my account, but when I heard that charge from Amazon (and I blindly trust Amazon) I didn't listen further and approved the charge. When I received the watch I LOVED it, I put it on my wrist right away and took it to my camping trip. When I got back from my trip I had a credit card bill waiting for me in the mail.
Long story short. I loved this watch and decided to keep it. It's perfect for my camping trips. Yes, I had to sell my house and my car, I now live in my camping tent under the bridge, having grilled rats for dinner, but man this watch totally worth it.

It was shortly after the onset of the French Revolution that I decided to retire to my techno-chrono bio-stasis chamber under the sea, to wait out the political upheaval. My physical self thusly preserved, I hunkered in for the long wait, my 1785 Zenith Men's Defy Xtreme Pocket Watch ticking away serenely in my waistcoat pocket. I procured from the pantry (all my cabinetry is composed of a humble gold-platinum-diamond alloy) a chess set made from the bones of leprechauns I poached from my airship, and settled into a most fascinating match, with myself. I must have lost track of time, for some moments later I noticed that my trusty time-piece had ceased its ticking. A brief glance at my instruments revealed that I had wiled away the hours with a greater rapidity than I could have imagined! The year was 2010, some 221 years after I sat down for chess! Quickly, I climbed to the surface and attempted to acclimate myself once again to society. Alas, much had changed since my departure, and a key stumbling point for me was my inability to tell time. As such, I set about to find a watch suited to my everyday needs. I was fortunate that my previously not-inconsiderable accounts had garnered some not-inconsiderable interest, and therefore were now tremendously not-inconsiderable. I purchased this watch from a fellow - Amazon - whose stock of wares was impressively vast. Hereafter follows a delineated account of my arguments for the watch, as well as those against:

Arguments in the Watch's Favor:
-Tells Time with acceptable accuracy
-Complimentary PhD., which comes in the box
-Power to Alter Reality through Dark Arcane Magicks
-Deployable Cheese Wheel

Arguments Against the Watch:
-Slightly Heavy on the Wrist
-Does not come in a Left-Handed model
-Built-in Baby Seal Generator didn't work as well as advertised
-Will not fend off ravenous sharks/bears/etc. unless properly motivated and well-rested
-Always tick, never tock

... He scoffs at the single-axis tourbillon, insisting his watch parts come in powers of ten.
... He refuses to wear Titanium, prefering Fermium with its perfect atomic number of 100.
... He dismissively shrugs his shoulders at a paltry depth limit of 3,300 feet for a watch. After all, the Titanic is 12,600 feet down - and what other diving destination is there?

... He is the Most Interesting Man in the World.

"I don't always wear a tawdry, cheap watch that costs less than $100,000, but when I do, I wear the Zenith Men's Defy Xtreme Tourbillon Titanium Chronograph Watch."

Free shipping! That was the selling point in my purchase of this masterpiece. $20 for overnight shipping was way too much but free shipping... who can say no? When the UPS man dropped off my watch, I was ready and had the door open. I was kneeling on one knee as if I was being knighted by King Arthur. Instead of being given a sword, I was given this "magnet" as I like to call it. It's a chick magnet, attention magnet, and coolness magnet. I would go to a bar, pretend to reach across a pretty girl's face to get a napkin just to show off my watch. I don't even have to ask for her phone number, she just gives it to me. Simply a "magnet"! I feel cool wearing this thing. They should call this thing TourZillion instead of Tourbillon because it's way better than a billion, in fact it's a zillion times better. Did anyone else notice that Zenith forgot an "i" when they spelled TourBillion? One big tip, this watch cannot be worn with a long sleeve shirt. Who would be dumb enough to wear a long sleeve shirt and cover up this piece of art? Better yet, this watch should be worn shirtless, that way people will notice the watch first... attention "magnet" I tell you. I am a lucky guy.