Zombies hate clowns. They also hate hippies, not to mention zip-lines, penguins, moon penguins, nudists, weddings, sharing, and kittens. They really hate unicorns, and strangely don't mind Canadians. Each ghoulishly colorful painting reveals a funny and unexpected scene of zombie disgruntlement, cataloging the stuff that really riles up the walking dead (astronauts, rain, bagpipes, re-gifting, and more) with wit, humor, and, of course, brains. Zombies Hate Stuff offers an unexpected and irresistible perspective on the zombie apocalypse and the pop culture phenomenon that will not die.
Zombies Hate Stuff
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Book Description
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Editorial Reviews
From the Author
Hello. I am the guy who wrote and illustrated Zombies Hate Stuff. And when I say "wrote," I mean that I avoided using any actual sentences and stretched 80 individual words into a 64 page book. Perhaps it is also worth mentioning that my editor thought of four of those words. So, let's do the math: Between 2008 and 2011, I wrote 76 words. The chances of my winning a Pulitzer Prize this year are fairly slim.
On the bright side, I also painted 56 watercolor illustrations to accompany the text, and since a picture is worth, like, six BILLION words, you are probably now regretting the fact that you inwardly mocked my intellectual capacity while reading the preceding paragraph.
By now you are surely asking, "Greg Stones, how do you know so much about zombies? How do you know what they hate? And why do you smell of urine?"
First of all, leave my bed-wetting out of this. Secondly, I have no idea what zombies actually hate, partially because they don't exist, but mostly because research makes me sleepy.
My history with the undead boils down to this: I saw Night of the Living Dead for the first time in 2004 and thought it was really cool, so I started adding zombies to my paintings. Not gross, rotting ghouls like you see these days, but classy zombies who understand the importance of a good suit and tie. (The small amount of research that I did do showed that nine out of ten victims prefer being eaten by a professional living corpse who looks the part, versus some slacker zombie who thinks that it is actually okay to wear pajama pants in public.) Getting back to my incredibly enthralling artistic evolution: first I painted lone zombies wandering through pretty landscapes, then I unleashed the walking dead on a series of unsuspecting penguins, and finally I turned the ghouls against the entire world in a series of pieces entitled "Zombies Hate..." whatever. Eventually it occurred to me to organize all these random zombie hatreds into a book.
More imagined questions from my audience:
Will this book help us survive a zombie apocalypse?
Yes, obviously. If you know that zombies hate clowns, you will not become a clown, with the added bonus that there will be one less clown in the world. Based on this fact alone, Zombies Hate Stuff benefits the entire planet.
Should this book become a huge success, how soon will you begin to display diva-like behavior?
Next Thursday.
And so concludes my first stab at writing about myself on an Amazon product description. Either my editor at Chronicle will read this and think "Wow! What a writer! Let's have him create ten more books for us!" or "Wow...I can't believe we published one of his books..."
Let's keep our fingers crossed, because a book about a bed-wetting zombie clown who hates penguins sounds like publishing gold to me.
Thank you for your time.
On the bright side, I also painted 56 watercolor illustrations to accompany the text, and since a picture is worth, like, six BILLION words, you are probably now regretting the fact that you inwardly mocked my intellectual capacity while reading the preceding paragraph.
By now you are surely asking, "Greg Stones, how do you know so much about zombies? How do you know what they hate? And why do you smell of urine?"
First of all, leave my bed-wetting out of this. Secondly, I have no idea what zombies actually hate, partially because they don't exist, but mostly because research makes me sleepy.
My history with the undead boils down to this: I saw Night of the Living Dead for the first time in 2004 and thought it was really cool, so I started adding zombies to my paintings. Not gross, rotting ghouls like you see these days, but classy zombies who understand the importance of a good suit and tie. (The small amount of research that I did do showed that nine out of ten victims prefer being eaten by a professional living corpse who looks the part, versus some slacker zombie who thinks that it is actually okay to wear pajama pants in public.) Getting back to my incredibly enthralling artistic evolution: first I painted lone zombies wandering through pretty landscapes, then I unleashed the walking dead on a series of unsuspecting penguins, and finally I turned the ghouls against the entire world in a series of pieces entitled "Zombies Hate..." whatever. Eventually it occurred to me to organize all these random zombie hatreds into a book.
More imagined questions from my audience:
Will this book help us survive a zombie apocalypse?
Yes, obviously. If you know that zombies hate clowns, you will not become a clown, with the added bonus that there will be one less clown in the world. Based on this fact alone, Zombies Hate Stuff benefits the entire planet.
Should this book become a huge success, how soon will you begin to display diva-like behavior?
Next Thursday.
And so concludes my first stab at writing about myself on an Amazon product description. Either my editor at Chronicle will read this and think "Wow! What a writer! Let's have him create ten more books for us!" or "Wow...I can't believe we published one of his books..."
Let's keep our fingers crossed, because a book about a bed-wetting zombie clown who hates penguins sounds like publishing gold to me.
Thank you for your time.
From the Back Cover
Zombies hate kittens.
Zombies don't mind babysitting.
Zombies really hate sharing.
Zombies love one thing...
Zombies don't mind babysitting.
Zombies really hate sharing.
Zombies love one thing...
Product Details
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More About the Author
I was born in Rhode Island. I went to school in Maine. Now I paint penguins and zombies for a living.
Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
7 of 9 people found the following review helpful
By S. Nikolaus
Format:Hardcover
This book is a real treat...a fan of Greg's artwork, I saw this book at one of his shows and purchased it immediately for a friend. I really need to buy another for myself! It's silly, funny, wacky and for those of us who are zombie fans--a must have! I agree with the other reviewers who said "buy two" because you'll definitely want one for yourself and one (or more) as the most awesome gift ever!
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
By Biodrummer
Format:Hardcover
I am a big fan of Greg Stone's work and this book is another great example of his humor. The illustrations are each beautiful little works of art that tell a funny and surprising story. He has the rare ability to be funny, edgy, and strange without being overtly kitschy or overly gross. Highly recommended and can't wait for the next installment!
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
By Emalyn
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase
Maybe it's just my crazy humor, but this book gave me a gigglespaz. It's amazing how many things zombies hate that we never realized...I got such an education out of this book. Nice and durable hardcover, pretty small and easy to keep in your glove compartment in case you get stranded and want to feel better about being un-undead.
-E
-E
Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars
Cute, simple book of funny pictures
This was just a fun book to read/look at. There are just some funny pictures and my daughter, who is now into zombies, laughed all the way through it.
Published 9 days ago by Anne
3.0 out of 5 stars
Funny
Subtle humor. My granddaughter wanted it, and she really enjoyed it.
Not sure how many times I would look at it.
Not sure how many times I would look at it.
Published 10 days ago by Danielle Garland
5.0 out of 5 stars
Zombies love this book
Very funny! It may be a little too violent and/or graphic for young kids, but my daughter just loves it.
Published 25 days ago by Jason C. Thurston
5.0 out of 5 stars
Omg lol
Zombie, we love you too!! I hate having to write more words than I can think of in book reviews.
Published 1 month ago by Katrina M. Ingle
4.0 out of 5 stars
I thought there was kinda going to be a story to it
it was hilarious, but it was basically just a picture book. i thought there'd be a little more to a story or something. Still awesome though
Published 1 month ago by Brittney Houchin
5.0 out of 5 stars
Made me LOL
I got this as a gift for a zombie loving friend and he LOVED it! It's a lot smaller book than I had imagined but is very cute and will make you laugh. The art in it is very nice. Read more
Published 2 months ago by G
3.0 out of 5 stars
Good bathroom book
I wanted some entertaining materials to put in my guest bathroom. It works great. It's very dry humor. I wish it was slightly more funny. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Riley Spiller
2.0 out of 5 stars
Not much to it
this is not worth more then 10 dollars. I feel i overpaid on this product. But i thought it was kinda funny
Published 3 months ago by matt the rat 28
5.0 out of 5 stars
Zombies hate when you read books
This books is great! I bought it for my zombie loving boyfriend and he loved it! He now uses the catchphrase "Zombies don't like....." all the time. Read more
Published 3 months ago by Carol Hagan
4.0 out of 5 stars
Funny but a little risque for preteens
My fourteen year-old thought it was funny, but he had to edit what he showed to his younger cousins. Definitely, PG - PG13 on a few pages,but otherwise silly and harmless.
Published 3 months ago by D. Himmelman
