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Zombies Hate Stuff Hardcover – March 21, 2012
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From the Author
On the bright side, I also painted 56 watercolor illustrations to accompany the text, and since a picture is worth, like, six BILLION words, you are probably now regretting the fact that you inwardly mocked my intellectual capacity while reading the preceding paragraph.
By now you are surely asking, "Greg Stones, how do you know so much about zombies? How do you know what they hate? And why do you smell of urine?"
First of all, leave my bed-wetting out of this. Secondly, I have no idea what zombies actually hate, partially because they don't exist, but mostly because research makes me sleepy.
My history with the undead boils down to this: I saw Night of the Living Dead for the first time in 2004 and thought it was really cool, so I started adding zombies to my paintings. Not gross, rotting ghouls like you see these days, but classy zombies who understand the importance of a good suit and tie. (The small amount of research that I did do showed that nine out of ten victims prefer being eaten by a professional living corpse who looks the part, versus some slacker zombie who thinks that it is actually okay to wear pajama pants in public.) Getting back to my incredibly enthralling artistic evolution: first I painted lone zombies wandering through pretty landscapes, then I unleashed the walking dead on a series of unsuspecting penguins, and finally I turned the ghouls against the entire world in a series of pieces entitled "Zombies Hate..." whatever. Eventually it occurred to me to organize all these random zombie hatreds into a book.
More imagined questions from my audience:
Will this book help us survive a zombie apocalypse?
Yes, obviously. If you know that zombies hate clowns, you will not become a clown, with the added bonus that there will be one less clown in the world. Based on this fact alone, Zombies Hate Stuff benefits the entire planet.
Should this book become a huge success, how soon will you begin to display diva-like behavior?
And so concludes my first stab at writing about myself on an Amazon product description. Either my editor at Chronicle will read this and think "Wow! What a writer! Let's have him create ten more books for us!" or "Wow...I can't believe we published one of his books..."
Let's keep our fingers crossed, because a book about a bed-wetting zombie clown who hates penguins sounds like publishing gold to me.
Thank you for your time.
From the Back Cover
Zombies don't mind babysitting.
Zombies really hate sharing.
Zombies love one thing...
More About the Author
(author photo by Brooke Stones)
Top Customer Reviews
This is an accessible book and a quick read. I brought it in to work and nearly everyone who passes by my cube flips through it. It's an attention getter, conversation starter, and a serious study of the undead. Ok, a fun study of the undead. And a good price. [Aaaaand Greg was nice when I met him at the Newport Folk Fest. Thanks dude!]
I'm nit picking at this point...I still think it's a five star book, but want parents to know if there is anything objectionable in it. Whether or not you find it objectionable is up to you (and for what age you find it appropriate). Great little book for the price.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Niche book that will not be to everyone's taste, but is just a funny little attention grabber.Published 4 months ago by Amazon Customer
Cute book! Simple and fun. Funny too! I love it and my 5 year old son loves it too! Great as a coffee table book around Halloween time.Published 6 months ago by Khrystinah
After reading Greg Stones other book, "Penguins Hate Stuff"this book was a complete let down...sad.Published 8 months ago by Steve Avery
This was a gift for my hard - to - buy - for brother. He loved it and it's a great coffee table book. We bonded a bit reading it.Published 8 months ago by Christiana
This is a fun, light hearted look at zombies written for children. If you like zombies and are still in touch with your inner child, read.Published 8 months ago by Vincent Jones
Hilarious. Bought this for my 10 year old son. It is TINY though. I was expecting something more standard picture book sized. Read morePublished 8 months ago by DeniseMomofMany