Customer Reviews

Zombiez

5 star:		(1)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(20)

 

 

The cover of the DVD looks REALLY creepy. It's a scam. Hip Hop horror has become a genre, and this is a terrible attempt to go the zombie route. This is 80 minutes of one woman running away from people with no zombie makeup on, just making silly snarling faces and grunting noises--and each "zombie" has bright red blood splashed on its white t-shirt so you know it's been chowing down. In group shots, when the zombies rip store bought meat products out of victims' shirts, some of the actors are either smiling or laughing at how stupid they're acting. It's ridiculous. Oh yeah, the zombies talk every once in a while, too. and they tote guns. And they wield a whole lot of rubber meat cleavers, and you can clearly see them faking the blows of the blade. Storyline? Simply, this woman seems to work at a construction site, gets attacked by the zombies, all her co-workers die, she runs and runs and runs, runs through the woods, finally mentions that she's going to save her husband and get away, and then eventually ends up back at the construction site after being captured several times and tied up by the zombie gang then breaking free while some other unfortunate gets sliced up. this movie is bad. NO redeeming qualities. Also, it's set almost entirely to a hip hop rhythm track. Honestly, don't waste your money.

Let's face it, there are alot of bad horror movies out there.. and this is the worst. First off the cover actually looks really good and the discription is misleading. If you ignore the poor flim quality and the shaky scenes you still are over whelmed with horrible hip hop music played over and over and over again. It's like they didn't even try, the special effects are horrible, infact so bad that it makes Godzilla look awsome. I've never see such poor acting, was this a joke? Did they think that this would be funny? This film is not even acceptable for an elementary school student.. I wouldn't reccomend this dvd to line your bird cage.. it's not even that good.

Now if you just spend your hard earned money for this movie, i
suggest you look at it in fast foward and then put it away in
file 19. This is a poor example of a movie, and should have
never been made. None of the characters are interesting and the
acting of the zombies is pitiful and embarrassing for any true
zombie fan.

"EEEK, Watch Out Lady, There's A Guy With Tomato Paste All Over His Shirt Chasing You!!!" BOOGLY!! BOOGLY!! BOO!! Did I scare you, if so you can probably still handle Zombiez. Seriosly, this has got to be one of the most offensive attempts at making a zombie movie ever known to man...House Of The Dead 1 & 2, Children Of The Dead, and Day Of The Dead 2 Contagion are all masterpieces compared to this crap. I'm about ready to boycott all of Lions Gate's straight to video horror releases, they all suck horse balls, it's like they don't even watch their own movies before releasing them. Lions Gate has been consistently been putting out some of the best theatrical horror pics to date, so what gives? All though this "Zombiez" is an awful movie, you can salvage the money spent, coffee table coaster's anyone, it would make a great miniture cutting board, you can use it as fire wood(plastic), & of course last but not least with soft jelly like substances you could use the disc as a half-assed cutting knife. All though if you're already pretty well stocked up in all those departments, you should probably save yourself the agony of sitting through this garbage and skip it, consider yourself warned. BOO!!...did I scare you?

But even though this movie is completely devoid of any redeeming value, you can still learn some important facts:
A sickle is a surprisingly common weapon for zombies to use.
Zombies find it amusing to hide, throw rocks at you, and laugh.
If surrounded by a group of 8 or more zombies, wave a meat cleaver in their general direction and they will scatter.
Zombies eat nothing but your guts, and only when you are wearing a shirt that covers the wound.
Not only do they not decay, they are even aware enough to clean up between feedings.
When the time comes for the final battle with the zombie leader, it should take the form of a co-ed boxing match. Seriously.

Don't waste your time or money on this movie. Bad from start to finish...I did make it through it. Low-budget, bad script, bad acting and bad effects. If I could I'd rate it zero, I would.

I love a large selection of horror films, but this one just fell short on every level. The only thing that was going for Zombiez was the art work on the DVD cover.

I first want to say that I love cheesy horror movies. I saw the cover and wasn't expecting anything like Dawn of the Dead, but just a cheaper and fun zombie flick. Holy crap what a terrible movie. Worst acting I've ever seen. I thought Bruce Campbell sucked in the first Evil Dead, but man. I have liked every zombie film I have ever seen (from I Walked with a Zombie in the 1930s to White Zombie, Plague of the Zombies, and everything else). Second, there are no rules for these zombies. Sometimes they talk, sometimes they snarl, they run, use weapons, occasionally speak very clearly, and have no makeup. I often wondered when I was looking at a zombie or a regular person. Third, if any prop/effect is overused in an independent film, it is fake blood - yet there is little to be found here. Just sausages for intestines/any part of the body being eaten. My favorite scene though is where the zombies (if that's what they even were) were killed by a Molotov cocktail that involved lots of smoke. No fire. Just smoke...

I'm not even done watching it. My wife is begging me to turn it off. I have never disliked a movie enough to flame it on the net while I watched it! Jeez. Amateur is fine, but this is pathetic.

This is, without a doubt, the worst movie I have ever seen. "The Blair Witch Project" is Oscar-worthy by comparison. Watching a blank TV screen would have been more enjoyable. I am, unfortunately, one of those people who has to read an entire book, never walks out on a movie and keeps living in hope that the plot will suddenly develop and this piece of tripe will make sense! It doesn't happen.

I don't have any idea who the people are that were in this movie (I refuse to call them "actors"), but their next jobs should involve something that would improve upon their acting skills - Wal-Mart greeter comes to mind. On second thought, please, let them go back to community college and find something they actually have talent to do.

I bought this one because I saw the trailer and it looked good. Unfortunately the trailer contained the only good scene in the movie. The movie starts with definitions of zombie so that we get the idea that traditional zombies aren't really dead. Our first view of them is when two zombies wielding a cleaver and a sickle attack a guy at a shipping yard that is twenty miles from the nearest working plumbing (or so the captions says, believe it or not). We then follow the plight of a young woman who works at the yard (which is in an industrial area and has a bus stop out front). She is attacked and runs away to her apartment with her husband. The zombies follow her and abduct them. She wakes at the shipping yard and escapes.

Now it gets even stranger. She runs away and winds up in the woods beyond some really high mountains. She is chased by more zombies who happen to be running around in the woods. She returns to the shipping yard where she tries to rescue her husband (she was looking for him in the woods). Then the plot falls completely apart until the end. Each phase of the story starts out with more definitions that I guess are supposed to help us understand the main character better.

These zombies use weapons and some of them talk. The effects are ridiculous at best. The opening zombie attack has the victim hid a dozen times by the cleaver and the sickle and yet there is no blood or wounding and he keeps fighting back and yelling even though he should be in little pieces. We don't really know who the zombie master is or why he is doing what he is doing. We don't know why everything seems to happen at the shipping yard or why the woman keeps going back there (except the time she is looking for her husband). The geography of the movie makes no sense. The plot makes no sense. The appearance of the zombies at every turn makes no sense. Production values are almost nonexistent. The only high point was when a big zombie asks a naked woman with a hole in her belly why she won't just die (and if that is the high point you know how bad the rest must be). Stay away from this one. Really.

It can be if it's a movie called Zombiez...

To call it the worst movie I've ever seen is too good for it. That would be saying that it's a movie in some sense, and I can't justifiably do that. What it most resembles are the stories that kids make up in those last years of elementary school-- you know the ones-- those last years that their imagination is still active and the real world hasn't corrupted their tender minds. This movie has a repetitive, improvised "story" style that is very much similar to children at play.

The "plot" revolves around Josephine who basically runs from "zombies" for 85 minutes. Yeah. That's the plot. No, I am not kidding you. Anything else that happens to pop up in the story is purely coincidental. It does not add to nor take away from the previously mentioned "plot" of Josephine running from zombies.

Now... by "zombie" I don't mean the guys you see on the awesome looking cover.... heavens, no. These zombies are a bunch of happy smiling and/or grunting guys that look like the guys you might see sitting by the drink machine outside Piggly Wiggly on any given day. And no: They never realy look much different than that. They sometimes have blood on their faces that looks a lot like that red sweet and sour sauce I get at the china buffet, but that's about all the makeup effects that really happen in the movie. And in just a few brief moments of viewing the "film" you'll notice that there are actually more happy zombies in this movie than the rotten, mindless kind you find in most zombie flicks.

Now, as far as "special effects;" well... the movie... kind of doesn't really have any. Yeah. Well... Ok. There is this one scene where Josephine makes a Molitov Cocktail and throws it at the zombies.

Well... who knew Molitov Cocktails created smoke but no fire? Crazay! It seemed to burn the zombies anyway, so who cares, right?

But by far the real concern of the film was obviously the thing the director focused on more than anything else: Josephine's butt. I'd say a good 65 minutes of the 85 minute long movie the screen was filled with Josephine's ample bottom. It was like some reverse nightmare. Death by getting too much of a good thing.

This movie is a blacksploitation movie made by black people. I have no doubt that the KKK bought the bulk of the production run of this movie to spread their assumption that African Americans are obsessed with big butts and fried chicken. I say the fried chicken part because of one scene near the end of the movie that makes absolutely no sense.... at all.... and that's saying something when that pops up as a significant point in a turdfest of a film like this....

I give this -65 stars.

But, man... It is definately worth buying, if just to own a copy of something so uniquely horrible. I got it as a Christmas gift this year, and honestly it is one of the most treasured items I own. No, I haven't watched it over and over again since I got it. I actually only saw it once. But I stick by my point that owning something like this is an honor. Buy a copy for a friend today!!!!

Or maybe someone you hate.

A lot.