Customer Reviews

comeback - a mother and daughter's journey through hell and back

5 star:		(91)
4 star:		(14)
3 star:		(6)
2 star:		(4)
1 star:		(8)

 

 

The cover shows a little girl, aloft. Her mother's open hands are at the bottom of the photograph. It's a lovely, joyous picture. And one that every parent can relate to. Because the picture is a complete metaphor for our idealized relationship with our kids --- we launch our children heavenward, and revel in what we see: beautiful purity backed by a pure blue sky. What comes next is certain --- we'll catch them. Without fail. Because that's our first, our most important mission in life: to serve our children and protect them until they're able to take flight on their own.

But in Chicago, in the early '80s, Claire Fontaine --- for legal reasons, a pseudonym --- makes a seemingly innocent mistake, the kind made by any number of young women in love: She marries the wrong guy. Nick is a Golden Child of Mayflower stock. Well, not so golden. He smokes as much dope as he grows. And his family has views about sex that are --- well, "progressive" might not be the right word for it. "Sick" and "incestuous" come closer.

Claire and Nick have a daughter, Mia. Nick, who has long enjoyed nude gardening, now likes to wander about the house in the buff, pressing his two-year-old daughter against him. Clair objects. Nick has a stunning comeback: "Sex isn't something children should be protected from, Claire. It's like protecting them from good food or music." And, soon, he moves on to abuse his child. And, of course, to beat his wife and wreck their home.

Claire is confused, numb, slow to bolt. Taking Mia to the doctor is a defeat --- the pediatrician, impressed by Nick's name, defends him. Judges prefer more tests to making definitive rulings. No professional cares to hear from Mia, who remembers everything and is now terrified of her father. Finally --- at great length --- Nick is ordered to undergo therapy as a condition of seeing his child. He declines.

When Mia is five, Claire meets Paul. He is handsome and decent, and he loves Mia the way a father should. Off they go to Los Angeles, where Mia becomes a top student at a prestigious private school and Claire establishes herself as a screenwriter. The past? Buried.

But life turns out to be like a horror movie; when you least expect it, the monster returns. When Mia is 15, she runs away. Her true friends and her real life, she says in the note she leaves behind, are on the streets. Oh, dear parents, don't worry: "I have a Swiss army knife and mace."

Right. A double life. Claire and Paul have missed it. The weight loss, the red faces, the pictures of dead punk heroes and books about street kids --- hey, she kept her grades up. And now Mia's off in the rain, probably to Venice Beach, where castaways find free drugs in exchange for free sex.

It gets crazy from here. How low can a girl fall? To a van. To skinheads. To heroin. And the thing about the bottom...well, as Emmylou Harris sings, "One thing they don't tell you about the blues/When you got em/You keep on falling cause there ain't no bottom/There ain't no end." There's always worse, always greater degradation.

It hurt me --- I mean: physically --- to read this stuff. I wanted to kill Nick. To shake Mia. Claire? I don't know. I'm a parent. Of a daughter. Mostly, I kept muttering, "Please, God, not me...."

But then there's sunlight: a tough love school run by Americans in the Czech Republic. It's like a jail. You don't talk without permission. You earn tiny privileges by observing the rules to the letter, go back to square one if you screw up. And the administrators are in your face 24/7.

But do not think for one second that this is a story about the reclamation of screwed-up teens. This is a book about families, and the parents are on the hook too. Indeed, they're on a much bigger hook. For not only must they learn how to adjust whatever behavior that contributed to their kids' spectacular delinquency, they must learn to relate to the very different child who will be coming home. In short, they must undergo a mirror of the therapy their kids are getting.

I don't think I'm the only reader who --- at midpoint in this book, when the therapy kicks in --- stops reading a book about Mia and Claire and starts reading one that's much more personal. There are no spectators here. Some of the failings you're reading about --- if you're like me, they're yours too. And so the book morphs into a harsh, raw and yet altogether loving confrontation. A wake-up call. With a message that comes down to this: Look at what's there. Look how you deal with it. Look how it affects others. And, hardest of all, look what you get out of it.

To say there's a happy ending of this joint memoir is wrong. There's a happy beginning. When you get to the end, you'll want to cheer.

You don't have to be a parent with a death-bent kid to need this book --- just a parent who knows it's possible to communicate better with your child, but doesn't know quite how. Which is pretty much all of us.

This memoir was one of the hardest books i have ever had to read and I am a big reader of this genre.

The story of a mother who does not seem her 15 year old self desctruct in front of her own eyes. Is nothing short of brilliant.

What I liked most was the raw honesty in this book. From the compelling beginning where the parents admit they "never had a clue" (scary) to the denial that anything was really bad to admitting that life was never going to be the same again.

A wonderful read.

Come Back is a great read! The story is gripping, and filled with rich moments--I laughed and cried. But the power of the story goes much deeper than that. As a teacher, I work with troubled teens, and have seen their parents go through hell the way Claire Fontaine did. This is an important book, because the events leading to drug-addicted Mia's capture and her ultimate healing are true, and they offer fresh insight into what it takes to help this generation. The "cowboy therapist" who held a mirror to Mia while she was in the tough love program showed me the balance of limit-setting and authentic caring that is effective in helping kids like Mia. I loved that we hear both voices-- mother and daughter. Each is an exceptional writer--I was amazed. Sometimes their perspectives are in sharp discord. But as the story unfolds, and Mia begins to reclaim her innocence and her joy, they find a genuine harmony.

We purchased this book based on recommendations from a parent forum associated with residential schools. Our daughter is currently in one of these schools so we read it with intense focus. Not only did this book give us a perspective that was interesting and informative to us, it is also very well written. I picked it up on Friday morning and finished it on Saturday evening using every waking minute that I was not busy with work or chores.

This book depicts the school environment quite accurately. We are very grateful that these residential schools exist, and grateful for this wonderful book.

I believe the main purpose of this book is to show an example of how one's parent(s) must go to every extreme to save their child from drugs; even if that includes taking them against their will.
The program that she belonged to didn't seem too harsh at all. What some people forget to realize is they are dealing with DRUG ADDICTS. Besides using, we've perfected the art of manipulation when it comes to getting what we want & bending any rule to get it.

The bittersweet part of this book is that unfortunately, only the affluent can afford this type of program. This leaves most middle and all low income out in the dust. So, while it is a beautiful story about the bond between a mom & her daughter, it cannot be ignored that this type of care is not available to all. That is a shame as every life holds the same value.

I do highly recommend this book. It's easy reading & goes into the thoughts of Mia Fontaine and her mom, Claire. Both are going thru emotional rollercoasters. This book is also suitable for adolescents.

Every once in a while, I read a book so moving, that I find myself in awe. For me, this was one of those books. Five years ago, I graduated from Spring Creek Lodge after spending nearly two years in the program. To this day, memories of my experience play a huge role in my life. The sad thing is that no one ever talks about it. And even of those who are willing, only the people who have experienced it can truly understand. To read something that is so straightforward and honest... something that truly captures the essence of the experience was truly refreshing. So many people have so many negative things to say about their experience (understandably), but so few people are willing to listen to the stories of the people who the program helped. I, for one, am thankful for this book. Almost everyday in my life people ask me about my experience in the program, but I find myself hard pressed to come up with an adequate description. I have always joked that it would take a book for someone to truly get a glimpse of my experience, but I never thought that book would exist. Well... here it is. Enjoy!

I hate using superlatives, but this book blew me away. I picked it up because I liked the cover and didn't leave my friend's apartment for another four hours. Besides being an incredible story, the writing was beautiful and the message profound. I'm a professional now and though I wasn't quite as rebellious as a teen, I was no angel. I liked that it's a joint memoir because while Mia's voice was the one I could relate to, what Claire wrote gave me an idea of what my mother went through - a bit of a wake-up call for me. Not many books stay with me after i'm done - this one did.

No doubt. This is the most insightful parenting resource on the market. I have two daughters, so I could relate to some of the relationship issues that mothers and daughters face. The perspective gained by listening to Claire's thoughts followed by Mia's thoughts was so overwhelming and calming at the same time. As a mother I could see myself clearer and how I don't SEE my children for who they are, but as an extension of me. Sometimes we need someone to hit us over the head with a shovel to really get something that is so clearly in front us. On a side note...I don't think you have to have a child in distress to gain from this book. This is one of those books that gives you the answer to "would things have been different if I knew then what I know now?. I don't know about you, but I could do without the shovel!!

Comeback is a stunning achievement. You know when you read this page turner this is hard to believe but all true; all from the heart, and perhaps all a mother-daughter relationship at its best is really supposed to be - despite the hell Claire and Mia go through. They are never really alone in a frightening world. They never give up on each other. And they come out of it strong.

It's thrilling when you can make that rare connection with a book, reading long into the night, excited to get back to it the next day. This breath-taking memoir, written alternately throughout from both the mother's and the daughter's experience, tells of their gut wrenching journey through hell and back, when the 15 year old sinks into a world of drug abuse and all the manipulative behavior, hostility, lies, family sickness, and frustration working with the system that comes with it. It is extremely well written, open and honest, mercifully bringing a generous amount of humor into the mix. Every parent and child is going to find something to relate to here on some level. The story is about a seemingly well adjusted happy couple with an A-student child that slowly disintegrates into a nightmare one can only hope never touches one's life...but often does. It is presented in a way that is insightful, instructive, painful and redeeming, ugly and beautiful, funny and brutal, and always entertaining. Reading "Come Back" was a powerful experience for me; it made me eager to work toward becoming a better person, not an easy task for any book. My thanks to the authors Claire and Mia Fontaine for presenting their story so very well.