Most Helpful Customer Reviews
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49 of 58 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars
The Mirror Effect Is Not a Breakthrough, April 1, 2009
I admire Drew Pinsky so I must reluctantly say that his latest effort The Mirror Effect is a disappointment. My disappointment is doubly bad since I had high expectations based on his intriguing discussion of this book on a local NPR interview. The problem is with the book's thesis or premise: Celebrities are worshipped more and more even as their behavior pushes the envelope of the definition of pathology and dysfunction and we, as their admirers, live vicariously through their actions and long to be like them. It is a bad trend, Pinsky argues, when the masses model themselves after celebrity narcissists.
I agree with Pinsky (what's there NOT to agree with?), but to base a book on the premise that celebrity behavior is not worthy of our aspirations is over familiar and self-evident and as such is not worthy of an entire book. The moral lesson is too simplistic.
What happens after Chapter One in which Pinsky defines the Mirror Effect (as I have above) is give countless "examples" of celebrity dysfunction from the usual suspects: Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan. Instead of learning any valuable lessons, the bulk of the book feels like reading gossip from US magazine.
If you're intrigued by the premise that outrageous celebrity behavior is a bad influence on society and you want lots of juicy details of that behavior, then this book is for you. On the other hand, if the premise is too obvious to be intriguing and if you're numb to celebrity stories of self-destruction, you may, like me, find this book to be a major letdown.
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28 of 33 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Putting a broken culture back together again..., March 19, 2009
The Mirror Effect is the rarest of kind of book and the fact that is it very good is particularly impressive considering the odds. For a book of broad, social criticism written by a television personality to not only be scientific and well supported, but also calm and compassionate is a true feat.
The premise of The Mirror Effect is bold. Pinsky writes that the convergence of reality television, lowered libel standards and constant connectedness have combined to create a market for an awful kind of celebrity (Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton). When this collides with the void left by pervasive divorce, childhood trauma and drugs, we have a society that encourages and supports narcissism. To continue the Mirror Analogy, society and celebrity are both mirrors and when put together create an endless chain that recreates the same initial problem. A child who develops narcissistic tendencies because of a negligent parent sees narcissism rewarded in the famous people they respect and the celebrity interprets that attention as approval for their own dangerous and indulgent behavior. Neither is incentivized be responsible, mature or healthy.
The thesis would be significant if it were simple social criticism but it is much more than that. Pinsky and Young actually bothered to do the research, subjecting hundreds of Loveline guests to a narcissism study they later published in 2006. They didn't stop there. The Mirror Effect is full of connections to existing and well respected psychological findings, making the book both fascinating and substantive. Also, due to Pinsky's place in popular culture, it is (thankfully) current. As opposed to the religiously based arguments of someone like Rabbi Schmuley Boteach, The Mirror Effect was written with an inside line on the celebrities it criticizes. Chapters begin with quotes from relevant celebrities and Pinsky draws from an array of anecdotes and examples possible only by someone who is more than just an observer.
If there is one weakness in the book it's the publishers push to make it appeal to a mass audience - something that though deserved, takes away from its academic credibility. There is the massive photo of Dr. Drew on the cover and the fact that it has a whopping three total contributing authors. (check the cover page, Jill Stern is also credited). Despite all the research there is no bibliography, index or even footnotes.
But those are small consequences considering the implications and quality of The Mirror Effect.
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Book of the Year?, September 7, 2009
I didn't expect too much.
But, I thought it was worth a read. Almost exclusively, the only thing I knew about Drew Pinsky before reading this book is that he is a psychologist who seems to turn up on all those bad shows I see while channel-surfing: celebrity re-hab shows, an MTV show with Adam Corolla (roll eyes.) However, he appeared to be addressing a subject in this book which, if done well, could be extremely helpful to modern people.
So, I was willing to take a stab at reading it.
You see, just look it up on Amazon: modern books about narcissism tend to fall roughly into one of two categories: 1) scholarly books which are written mostly for those who do or should (like therapists) have a working knowledge of narcissism, or those who are victims of narcissistic abuse who are so intrigued by the subject that they want to know all they can about it--probably because it was so painful that they don't want such abuse to sneak up on them again (I'm a good example) or 2) books written more for laypeople to help them understand and cope with the narcissistic people they find messing up their lives in some way. Such folks previously didn't know what the sam hill narcissism is or that it ever existed. They probably thought what they were going through was just people being mean or lacking empathy but instead have figured out that there is a human phenomenon called "narcissism" and "narcissistic personality disorder." They don't want to be scholars or therapists: they just want to figure out how to deal with a narcissistic person in their lives before they resort to killing him or her (yes, I'm being facetious.)
What I have seen is tremendously lacking is this: books which attempt to bring the subject of narcissism into the public arena where it really, really, really, really needs to be discussed if things are ever going to change for the better on the narcissism front in society. You see, narcissistic abuse and the damage narcissism does to society in general is so common in great part because *"the average person" doesn't recognize what it is and doesn't know it when they see it.
Thirty or forty years ago women were more subject to sexual abuse and sexual discrimination because society in general--or the "average person"--had no or little working knowledge about it. Today, in most workplaces, the "average person" knows sexual abuse and discrimination in the workplace when they see it. The "average person" in the street, in the office or in the family in contrast 1) doesn't know what narcissism is 2) is unaware of how prevalent it is in America and 3) is unaware of how devastating it can be to individuals, families, institutions and to society as a whole.
With this effort, Drew Pinsky has attempted to write such a book. And in my opinion he hit it out of the park. Will this book win a Pulitzer or any other "book of the year" award? Of course not. Those are usually saved for the more "scholarly" or "artistic" efforts. But, in terms of a book that could possibly help make the average person, institution, business or family become healthier, then this book is my candidate for "book of the year." I'd give Pinsky at least three stars for even *trying* to do such a thing. But, since he did such a superb job, then this book warrants at least five stars. Furthermore, it is apparent to me that Pinsky "has a heart for" the people who are hurt by narcissism. It's obvious he didn't write the book just to capitalize on his MTV or reality show fame. Instead, he capitalized on his fame in order to genuinely help people. The man has a lot of empathy: well, we know then that *he* doesn't have NPD.
The authors write " Each one of us falls somewhere on the spectrum of narcissism. We are all born as complete narcissists and then, based upon our emotional development in early childhood, we arrive at our adult expression of these traits. A secure attachment to a parent nurtures empathy, high self-esteem, and self-awareness. But when traumatic experiences short-circuit the delicate process of empathic development, individuals become locked in patterns of grandiosity and emotional disconnection." (page 108)
The above paragraph is the best succinct definition of narcissism I've ever read--and it's aimed at the "average person." Beautiful.
One part of the book I did not care for: the first eighty-six pages or so when it seemed like I was watching an incessant "Entertainment Tonight" show. It was not all that pleasant to read all that--but, I was excited about it nevertheless because I could tell where he *may* be going with it all. Another good reason it was a superb idea to begin the first eighty-six pages the way they did is because it's information the average teen, twenty and thirty-something may be interested in. Pinsky writes about this celebrity and that celebrity all the while interjecting slowly but surely new terms related to the subject of narcissism. Excellent, superb job--although it nearly bored me to tears to read it.
Anyone older than forty or fifty years old can see a big difference in our culture since that time. Eighteen years ago or so Bruce Springsteen sang about "57 Channels and nothing on..." Look at the junk (my opinion) that's on television now:
"Big Brother" was one of the highest rated shows last week...Sheesh! And all the non-stop celebrity shows--yeah, I'm looking at you E!Channel. "Chelsea Lately" for months has been a show I have recorded in order to watch at my leisure. I have had many gut laughs--and we all need them--while watching the show. However, I will never watch the show again without this book in my mind. You see, the show is basically about four people making fun of celebrities and other people who do the goofy things goofy people do. And people like myself are eating it up (Handler just signed a huge contract based on the show.) Personally, it gets on my nerves how she treats Chuey: I sure hope he gets paid a lot. Just don't mess with "The Soup."
Pinsky's point is that we have become too preoccupied with exalting celebrities and we have gotten d*** good at kicking them when they're down:"kick 'em when they're up, kick them when they're down" (Don Henley) Pinsky gives an excellent example with how so many of us--and not just the press and paparazzi--have harshly treated Britney: not with empathy but with contempt and "haha, she's finally getting what she deserves." He cites a "South Park" episode in which our hypocrisy and narcissistic traits are there for us to see as we watch "Britney" just tries to be a human being.
Then and only then do the authors begin helping the average person to begin to have a working knowledge of narcissism and it's causes which always comes back to early childhood trauma with their chapter "The Genesis of Narcissism." As a side note, I have to wonder if Alexander "the Great" had had a more empathetic father in Philip of Macedon whether he would have found it necessary to prove to himself and to the world how "great" and "special" he was. It would have saved a lot of other people in the 4th century B.C. a ton of grief along with their lives. "Alex" would have been happier too.
You see, narcissism has been messing up a lot of lives for centuries. And Pinsky helps to convince me that the phenomenon is probably more prevalent today than it ever has in human history.
Why is this? Pinsky gives us his take on it: "It is childhood trauma that makes individuals most vulnerable to unhealth levels of narcissistic traits, and that allows narcissistic behavior to take hold and flourish. The incidence of childhood trauma has increased by more than 40 percent over the past twenty years, and as a result, we are all feeling *the effects of a generation with deep narcissistic wounds.*" (page 143)
I greatly applaud Pinsky for bringing the DSM-IV into the discussion, helping teens and others to understand the traits of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (pages 98-99.) Awesome...And he does a great job at it, too. To really effectively deal with NPD you have to understand it and see it when it is present. I applaud Pinsky for taking the bull by the horns on this one.
Pinsky also address the fact that narcissism and NPD, though very much present, is hard to detect to the untrained eye (thus the essential need to bring the DSM-IV's expertise into the book.) Pinsky writes "I can't help but conclude that there are many more individuals suffering from unhealthy levels of narcissism than there are patients diagnosed with narcissism as a psychological disorder. Another reason NPD can be difficult to diagnose is that narcissism, even at NPD levels, doesn't stop people from attaining positions of power, wealth, or prestige. Narcissists often develop attractive or persuasive social skills to help them maintain the persona they have constructed to get what they want from the world...Finally, diagnosis can be challenging simply because it's extraordinarily difficult to convince a narcissist that he needs psychological help. Any challenge to a narcissist's unrealistic self-image is likely to provoke rage, disdain, denial or other protective behaviors, as the individual struggles to protect the pseudo-self at all costs." (page 100.)
I might add also that narcissists are drawn to power and fame like a moth to your backdoor light. And they don't really deep down know why they are, being that they are some of the least self-aware people you'll ever come across.
Allow me to point out one of the many pages I have marked as having especially insightful thoughts. Pinsky writes on page 139 "...studies have shown a decline in religious affiliation and beliefs, especially among America's youth , who...
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