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149 of 190 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
This and That, March 3, 2007
First of all, this book is not so much about that, despite the title. The title almost immediately sets you up for an anti-climactic rest of the book. The title is good marketing, but not necessarily truth in advertising. This is ok. Buying this book is not about that.
Think about why you bought it first. You bought it because you really like Rob Bell, and in your mind you run through conversations that you'd like to have with him when you two are hanging out at Starbucks, which I'm sure he'll have time for. Given that that's what this is about, just realize that you're getting the next best thing. You're hanging out with him. He's talking about what's on his mind. You get to listen in. Even though it's a monologue, it kind of scratches that itch that all of his fans have been having.
So for that reason, it's a pretty good book.
In keeping with the postmodern, emergent ethos, which Bell leads while disavowing, the book is not linear. He starts out with a provocative introduction which broaches the sacramental without using that word, and then a powerful first chapter that reaches into our deepest longings for the dignity for which we were created. Immediately we are on board and want more. Particularly in hopes that he gets to the s-e-x.
The second chapter skirts around our "disconnection" from the created order, which makes me wonder if we're walking through a systematic theology of creation, sin, salvation (I was soon dissuaded). I'm also wondering if we've taken on a neo-Tillichian doctrine of sin-as-victimization, but I don't think the book's theology is quite so intentional.
The third chapter I like even better, as a modern discourse on the first three chapters of Genesis and the thoughtful suggestion that our sexuality is poised between our place as animal and angel, as physical and spiritual beings. Now I'm really into this book. Chapter four plays with the temptations and addictions that throw us off course from that dignity we wanted at first. Chapter five looks at our reaching out for love to fix the hurt, portrayed through the clever and playful illustration of a little girl running away from Rob Bell when he asked her to dance in Junior High. I think we're supposed to say, "Oh, good choice, girlie, look where you'd be now." The cross is God's act of making himself vulnerable to our rejection in the same way.
Now here's the break. From here on out, the structure is not too clear to me, and, from what I read, to other reviewers. Six is about couples needing to submit to each other rather than women to men. Seven is (subtly) about retaining the mystery of sex within marriage. Eight is about loyalty, nine is an implied analogy between heaven and marital intimacy, and ten is an offer of forgiveness for those who have failed.
Then I realized what I was reading. It's not systematic theology; it's the emergent "Why Wait?" program. Which is fine. I just wanted to hang out with Rob Bell, and when I got the chance, he had sex on his mind. Cool. I like listening to him, whatever he's talking about.
My only two suggestions for his third book are these. First, the endnotes are not cute, and it is not impressive to see how many books you can recommend. They perforate a book that already requires attention. Secondly, pensees do not need to be released in hardback at twice the cost of a paperback.
Those aside, it's a worthwhile recommendation for the religiously exposed who don't really understand Christian mores regarding physical intimacy.
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10 of 10 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
It's time for a sexy party, September 17, 2008
Yes, this book is about that.
Rob Bell delves into the link between our sexuality and our spirituality, and the result is a work that will open your eyes to the relationship that God seeks with humanity.
The basic premise is that we are all broken, always seeking a connection with others since our connection with God has been severed. We all want to be known and accepted as we are. Only God can provide us with this, but sex is the next best thing. So we all walk around with distorted concepts of who we are, searching for that connection through physical relation rather than spiritual.
The book is engaging, and Bell has a talent for teaching by using stories(sound familiar?). He is able to weave Bible history, Jewish customs, and contemporary culture together to form a picture of the relationship God desires with mankind. I especially enjoyed a passage on page 70 that describes that Garden of Eden as good, and for it to be truly good, it couldn't be forced on people. Hence, the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.
A few criticisms, however:
On page 63 Bell describes the universe as unfinished. He claims that "God's intent in creating these people was for them to continue the work of creating the world, moving it away from chaos and wild and waste and formlessness toward order and harmony and good."
I just can't agree with that statement. When God created the universe, it was good. He rested on the seventh day, content with His creation. There was "order and harmony and good." Then we, humanity, screwed it up. I get the gist of what he's saying, but the statement just doesn't make sense.
The other problem is on pages 20 and 22. Bell discusses a passage in which Jesus says "If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away." Bell later states "And that's Jesus' point with the "gouge out your eye" teaching. His point isn't that you should mutilate your body if you find yourself lusting after someone. His point is that something serious--sometimes hellish--happens when people are treated as objects, and we should resist it at all costs."(p.22)
I agree with him on his thoughts on people(specifically women) being treated as objects, but I don't think Jesus is just saying that bad things will happen when we sin. To me, Jesus is calling us to a higher level of spirituality. He goes on to say it is better to lose parts of your body than to lose your soul(paraphrased). This means that a life dedicated to God means a neglect of yourself.(Read more about this at The Humble Way blog) I think Bell slightly twists a verse to suit his topic.
Bell is also reluctant to name the author of epistles such as 1st Corinthians, etc. I don't know why, and it's not a big deal. I just wonder why. And, on a more petty note, this guy drops geographic names like Carmen San Diego:
"...I was in Canada..", "...stayed at a wildlife lodge in Africa.", "I was in London..". These are just some of the examples. I'm just saying, dude travels a lot. Maybe I'm just jealous.
But seriously, this is a book I would actually recommend spending money on, and it's also worth your time. Some people criticize Rob Bell for being weak theologically, and I can see their point. I wouldn't go to him for Bible commentary. But he definitely has insight into relationships, especially those concerning people and God. Read this expecting the relational side of God's love to be revealed.
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87 of 111 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars
Not quite there, July 30, 2007
This is my first book to read by Rob Bell and it will probably be my last. It's not a bad book, but Bell just seems to be an inch off of the target. I would read two or three pages and be able to follow his reasoning and then he would hit a point that just was off in left field. I know a lot people like him, maybe because he makes this strange and, at times, unbliblical statements (or at least riding the fence) that make you just stratch your head.
Certain things like where he says that in the Old Testament sex meant you were married because when I man raped a girl he had to marry her. From here he makes the conclusion that God may not be against cohabitation if the cohabitors are sincere and loyal to one another. He said it this way, "sex, in the ancient world, was marriage." I just see that as unbiblical because for the very reason that the link between marriage and sex was severed the man must now be forced to recognize and respect that link. It is not about having sex is equal to being married; it is that marriage and sex are connected and when you separate them and deny this connection, you deny their sacred nature of both. It is things like this in almost every chapter where he is a little off.
One more instance is where he says that being sexual is being intimate or connected with another. I like what Rich Mullins said much better when he said that we have made the mistake in this generation to think that to be intimate with somebody we must have sex; Christ was very intimate with people but he never had sex. I think what Bell is doing is taking the word "sexuality", which in it has the implication of connection, and saying that being sexual is not about physicality. With Bell's definition a logical conclusion would be that Jesus was very sexual even though he never had sex. Again I think it may just be Bell trying to be controversial and changing the connotation of the term "sexual" and thus raising some eyebrows. If you want a good book on Christianity and sex look elsewhere ("Real Sex" by Lauren Winner or something), he just doesn't quite get it I think.
Philip
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