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97 of 109 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars
Darned If I Know, February 7, 2010
First, the good news. This book is available at a generally low price for a hardback and it is a fast, fast read. The ghostwriter and editor did a fantastic job in insuring that the prose never got too purple and the sentences stayed blunt and to the point. As reads go, it gets no easier.
Second, I have no idea why on earth I read this book. Although I live in South Carolina, I have to admit that I have never had any feelings about the Sanfords one way or the other. Until the "Hiking the Trail" incident, I thought he was a rather colorless but efficient executive, and Jenny Sanford a good public speaker. That's about all. And I did approve of her refusing to play the "martyred wife" when he disclosed his affair, choosing instead to go into semi-seclusion at the family beach home with her four sons and initially eschew voracious local media coverage. But when I finished this book, if half of it is true, I concluded that the title should not be "Staying True" as opposed to "The Weirdness of What Happens Behind Closed Doors." And, just to satisfy myself, I wrote a friend of mine who has been active in precinct level Republican politics in South Carolina for a long, long time. I was very surprised that he was less than flattering about both of the Sanfords, which, oddly enough, lent a certain credibility to what I read, even as he admits that he was disgusted by the whole affair and expressed the wish, in no uncertain terms, that the story would just "go away."
Jenny Sanford's biography reveals a tough, genteel woman of old New England aristocracy, about as blue-blooded as one can be. But as she tells her story about the failure of her marriage, I had to wonder why on earth she remained in it so long, something I don't think she explains very readily. Her portrait of her husband is one of a self-absorbed skinflint who had the passion of a bowl of Cream of Wheat and the sensitivity of a trashcan rat. And she obviously relishes telling all manner of stories to back up this claim. For example, his taking a favorite diamond necklace from her because it was too expensive and he regretted his ostentation in purchasing it, or leaving her alone as she underwent a tubal ligation to avoid the danger of a fifth pregnancy when her fourth proved both dangerous and unusually arduous. And this litany of anecdotal claims goes on and on. For far too long. I honestly have to wonder if she thought about whether or not any of her sons would pick up this book one day and have to live with the knowledge that their father was a philandering cad and - to be perfectly candid - such a "weirdo." Maybe she was being justifiably cathartic, but some of this verged on vengeful. I do not hold that against her. I am not Jenny Sanford, and I cannot stand in her shoes, and she was obviously scorched by these events. But the low level of truly poisonous penmanship I found rather frigid to the point of making her an almost unsympathetic person. She is only saved by the fact that her husband - allegedly - makes her look positively Pollyanna-ish in comparison. Still, too much of the smoke of burning martyr sends its clouds off the pages at points. She did not break her silence. She threw a baseball bat through it.
Still, the latter part of the book is far more gentle where she begins to discuss what she will possibly do with her future, even if she is less than clear. Some mention is made of her possibly going on the evangelical talk circuit, or perhaps working in politics herself. Nothing is resolved, nothing made clear. And again, perhaps that's fine. It is entirely possible she does not know herself as of yet. And that kind of human uncertainty goes far in making the larger book a shade more palatable. And the other saving grace, I think, is while the four chlidren are mentioned throughout the book, they are really not discussed in any way I found exploitative.
But, still, I unmistakably heard two voices come out of Jenny Sanford's mouth - the "woman scorned" and the woman who seems to want to say she has made sense of it all but obviously has not. And this left me dissatisfied and even a little confused. And where I wanted her to speak in detail the loudest - about why she remained with her husband knowing his odd selfishness as she did, for example, or telling us what she really thinks about the travails of being a wife of a pol caught in a sex scandal - the book is strangely flat. This gloss is certainly not because of her lack of intelligence, since she is, quite obviously, extraordinarily well-educated and a woman of powerful opinions. Perhaps she is not ready. Perhaps she never will be. Her regional social background is one where great disclosures of emotion and publicly exposed marital chaos are often less than welcome. Maybe it should have stayed that way. I honestly don't know, and when the book ended, I was just rather relieved.
So, I would recommend it if this story interests you, but with reservations. I have a funny, funny feeling that this is not all of the story by half, but I am certainly not interested in knowing more. A sad read about a family's tragic ending that perhaps needs to end with this book and Mark Sanford's continuing silence. Maybe in silence the two of them will find some measure of peace when the Klieg lights go out and the rapidly diminishing public who remain interested move on because, in the end, most all such stories tend to end up one way - mercifully forgotten.
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28 of 33 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars
SHE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER !!!!, February 8, 2010
When he left her the car and instructions on how to reach the house in South Carolina, that is when she should have headed north on the very next plane home.
Instead, she lost all sense of herself by marrying this man.
He is a manipulator and a control freak. She can talk all about how he is earnest in his beliefs for this country, but that is not the case.
He sees people as a useful tool for himself and a means to an end.
I think Jenny was a push over to all of HIS wants and needs.
The last straw for Jenny was the tan lines this jerk found in Argentina. I would not be at all surprised that the Argentina tan lines were not the first time he ever saw tan lines in this marriage.
I am just suprised she stayed in this so called marriage for 20 years. He told her what to do and she did what she was told. The old excuse that she did it for her boys has been used way too many times.
It would have been a different story if she would have stood up to him and let him know exactly how she felt about many situations he put her in and many things she was told to do by him. Love can blind a person and she sure was blinded throughout this marriage.
I would be curious to know just how much quality time he spent with his sons. Since he was hardly home I don't see what kind of father he could possibly be to the boys. His TRIP to his soul mate was on Father's Day weekend.
Throughout the entire book she describes his penny pinching ways. The diamond necklace was a shocker to me. What kind of a man and husband would do that to his wife? She put up with a bunch of BS from him since the very beginning of the marriage. She was a very educated woman that had tremendous self esteem and he tore that from her. She should have, many years ago, taken her boys and went back to a family that loved and respected her.
She will come away from this so called marriage with peace of mind and great respect for herself for not STANDING BY HER MAN!!!!!!!! She stood by him for far too many years. The only time she STAYED TRUE was when she packed her bags and left the governor's mansion.
I hope she remarries and finds the love that she and her boys both deserve.
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27 of 32 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
A Must Read!, February 10, 2010
This book was impressive! I pre-ordered it on my Kindle and could not wait to read it!
Some people may purchase it in hopes that it will give all the sorrid details of our Governor's affair---save your money. Jenny Sanford is a spiritual, classy, funny, and smart woman. She recognized that there were problems early on in her marriage and was very honest about her choice to ignore them. Instead of being a whining "woe is me" book, she takes personal responsibility for many things that perhaps she could have done differently.
I never really gave much thought to Jenny Sanford, my perception was that she was a wealthy GOP wife and not much more. I now know that she is so much more than that! I am proud that she is the First Lady of South Carolina and she is a wonderful example of what the words "Staying True" mean. She could have stood by her man, but after reading the book you will realize that her spirituality and drive to be an example for her children would not allow it.
As of late, I haven't been a proud "South Carolinian"(Governor Sanford, Joe Wilson, Lt. Governor Bauer) but I am proud to have a dynamite First Lady in Jenny Sanford. She serves as a fine example for women everywhere!
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