Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior, Freshly Updated (Hardcover)

by Judith Martin (Author), Gloria Kamen (Illustrator) "WHEN PEOPLE complain about the rudeness of others (and surely you don't think they are lining up here to turn themselves in), they like to..." (more)
Key Phrases: Miss Manners, United States, New Year's Eve (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review
Miss Manners' down-to-earth collection of wisdom and pithy wit is a joy to read. Under the chapter on Table Manners, she notes "the inevitable slippage of spaghetti from the fork back onto the plate is Nature's way of controlling human piggishness" and suggests "a quick motion of the wrist, such as one uses to shake down a thermometer, will remove excess ketchup" from French fries. From common courtesy and proper attire to the etiquette of weddings, Martin knows right from wrong and sensible from rude. But this is no prissy, preachy tome. Miss Manners is very funny and has impressive insight into life. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Publishers Weekly
Evoking the vaguely Victorian voice her "gentle readers" no doubt expect, Miss Manners imparts her personal brand of wisdom along with a lady-like amount of wit in this updated look at propriety. Martin, author of the "Miss Manners" columns and a variety of related books, speaks to readers' behavioral concerns typically by introducing a general topic area with a sharp-tongued essay, as she does with "Houseguests," which describes perfect and not-so-perfect guest behavior. She then provides her responses to a limited selection of questions related to the general topic. For instance, regarding guest behavior: When can one stop writing a frequently visited friend thank you notes? Her answer: Only when they appreciate being taken for granted. Though Miss Manners frequently refers to her "gentle readers," there is nothing gentle about her treatment of them. She never shies away from finger-pointing (or wagging), as she does when she chides a woman who engages in one-night stands for complaining about the lack of social follow-up on the part of her discarded men. Unlike etiquette books that take a more preventive approach, offering an encyclopedia-type reference to potentially awkward situations that allows readers to get quick, definitive advice, Miss Manners seems to assume the "gentle reader" has a lot of time for reading-and for puzzling through the answers to divine truly proper behavior or to find a way to apply it to their own situation. And while the questions reflect an updated look at today's etiquette conundrums-from email correctness to dealing with the unmarried pregnant women in our midst-the responses seem to convey weariness over the arrival of such new opportunities for graciousness. In the end, much of Miss Manners' advice can be summarized as: just grin and bear it and leave the snide remarks to pros like myself.

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 864 pages
• Publisher: W.W. Norton & Co.; Freshly Updated edition (April 25, 2005)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0393058743
• ISBN-13: 978-0393058741
• Product Dimensions: 9.2 x 7.1 x 1.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 3 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars See all reviews (26 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #206,951 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

42 of 42 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars "What is the correct way to eat corn on the cob?" "Left to right.", August 11, 2005

By	Allen Smalling "Constant Reader," (Chicago, IL United States) - See all my reviews (TOP 500 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)

Shape up, America! Miss Manners (a/k/a Judith Martin) is back with a fresh updating of the original MISS MANNERS' GUIDE TO EXCRUCIATINGLY CORRECT BEHAVIOR from the 1970s. And she lays down the law -- only when necessary. She's more interested in deriving principles of correct behavior for everyday life; yet somehow her writings still manage to hold the conceit that the writer is just a little old mid-Victorian lady, quietly sobbing in her lace handkerchief over some new egregious violation of the canons of etiquette.

In short, Judith Martin is more pragmatic than many people give her credit for. People who want only to "do the right thing," wedding-wise, are sometimes unfortunately in thrall to the stereotype of a Hollywood film wedding, "circa 1948." If the numbers and relative sizes of the ushers don't match those of the bridesmaids, well, better to work something out than adhere to a strict model that was idealistic and perhaps a touch bogus to begin with. Miss Manners is against all this "pseudo socializing" at work, especially when people get nickled-and-dimed to death for gift recipients they barely know; but she's for uniforms on kids because otherwise they would look "so drearily alike" in their t-shirts, jeans and sneakers. She's against the kind of complicated and expensive stationery kit that bills itself a "stationery wardrobe"; note cards and letterhead are plenty for most of us, she avers, and don't waste money on preprinted "thank you" cards. Soon-to-be-married couples who suggest that they prefer money to presents deserve neither, in her estimation, especially if it's a second marriage. And she makes each case -- and so many others -- with ironclad logic and penetrating wit.

I must take gentle exception to the feeling that the advice in this book is more suitable to the Fifties than nowadays. Miss Manners deals quite well with blended families, moms-at-work, e-mail etiquette and other modern-manner topics. She correctly identifies the kind of clothing that today counts as "formal," in varying degrees, and depending on time of day. (A tuxedo is not necessarily "less formal" than a cutaway, it doesn't compete with the former because one is for day, one for night.) Yes, she tells how to serve "a la Russe" for fantastic multi-course dinners, but she gets the basics down first. There are definitely times when the humor is so tongue-in-cheek it sounds almost like a parody of those very strict etiquette guides so prominent in American life between the 1920s and the 1960s, but she invites us to laugh along.

This book is a great bargain and will serve as a complete guide for most Americans (well, almost, riding-to-hounds isn't dealt with, but I said "most" Americans). The extra zing from the humor and occasional high dudgeon of Judith Martin's alter ego make the trip all the more enjoyable. About half the text of the original 1970s EXCRUCIATINGLY CORRECT book is extant, but updated so carefully that I never felt we were being served leftovers.

51 of 53 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Not Just for Table Manners, April 5, 2002

By	Peter A. Greene (Franklin, PA United States) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This review is from: Miss Manner's Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior (Paperback)

This is most certainly NOT Emily Post at work here.

Miss Manners is excrutiatingly correct and absolutely thorough in this best of all the entries in her series of books. But even if you don't care about Proper Behavior, this book is a great read. Miss Manners is a great writer; her work is pointed, sharp and funny. She has the gift of making me laugh out loud as I read about matters that I don't even care much about, and hardly a chapter went by without my learning something useful.

Someone wisely chose to include letters written to her column; it's in her byplay with her readers that she shines brightest. A great read for any fans of fine, tight column writing, no matter what the subject.

42 of 44 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Required Reading for all young people, June 13, 2002

By	APIMom1999 "wolfsky" (Memphis, Tn United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Miss Manners' guide to excruciatingly correct behavior (Paperback)

I first purchased this book when I was in 10th grade, and it served me well throughout many social occasions, situations etc. Now as an adult, I've purchased the only copy I could find (used on amazon.com) for my children. This book covers it all, from how to properly eat at a formal place setting, to the proper way to introduce people. She offers smart sassy comebacks to those who need them, and a bit of a chuckle for those of us who were raised with proper manners (unlike the offerings I've seen here at the University where I work among the students!!!)
Enjoy