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Real Vampires Have Curves (Glory St. Clair, Book 1) Mass Market Paperback – February 5, 2008

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Gerry Bartlett (Author)
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Gerry Bartlett (Author)
4.1 out of 5 stars 82 customer reviews
Book 1 of 11 in the Glory St. Clair Series
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Product Details

  • Mass Market Paperback: 336 pages
  • Publisher: Berkley (February 5, 2008)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0425220966
  • ISBN-13: 978-0425220962
  • Product Dimensions: 4.2 x 1 x 6.9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 5.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (82 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #989,119 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

4.0 out of 5 starsGotta love Glory (No plot spoilers)
By H. Harrelson on March 10, 2007
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
When I first started read this book I wasn't sure I was going to like it. The main vamp (pun intended), Glory, seemed to be all over the place and a little too vapid for me.

However, she grows on you. Quickly. She becomes a bit more "real" as you go on and start finding out she's a vampire with a complex about her thighs and is semi-bothered by the fact she let a stripper talk her into a spray-on tan. She also has a smart alec guard dog named "Valdez" (Valdez the 112th, she thinks, because she names all her dogs "Valdez") who talks like John Travolta from "Get Shorty". See what I mean? She grows on you.

I ended up reading the entire book in one sitting and am glad I have the next book on order. More than once I caught myself giggling out loud at something. The cast of character is not the usual vampire fare and Bartlett has changed around the vampire powers and blood drinking rules to suit her setting which I like. There's no angst and doomed tone at all which is rare in a vampire novel, and frankly, it was much appreciated.

My only complaint was that the reasonably bright Glory missed some patently obvious incidents I felt she would have seen right through so occasionally it seemed like she went from bright to just utterly clueless which bugged me.

Overall, a very entertaining little book and I'm looking forward to the next one. I will recommend it to friends who like the vamp romance/mystery novel as something to give a look.
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2.0 out of 5 starsUnbelievable
By Mithrea on April 21, 2007
Format: Paperback
What did I miss? I read the great reviews of this book and if there was even one dissenting opinion, I wouldn't be writing this at all, but I feel like I got duped by the good reviews, so I'm writing one that's a little different.

I am probably spoiled. I'm a huge fan of the Betsy books by MaryJanice Davidson, and the Sookie Stackhouse books by Charlaine Harris. They have very little in common, so my disappointment with "Real Vampires Have Curves" has nothing to do with it not fitting into the genre. My biggest problem is that it just wasn't believable. Even in fantasy, with fantastical characters, the characters and stories have to seem believable. There were too many holes in the spectacularly cliche and boring plot, including a few strange passages where whole bits of time pass for no reason. The characters don't develop at all and I really wanted Glory to develop because I found her to be shallow, insecure and dim.

In my opinion, if you are going to reference another work in your title, you are going to set some expectations. I expected Glory to be proud of her curves, or at least become proud of them. I did not expect her to claim she was just "bloated" on the day of her turning or to constantly be down on or suspicious of anyone who is attracted to her because they are attracted to her. Bloated and curvy are not the same thing.

The mind-reading was severely overdone and the talking dog was so hokey, it all added up to me not ever being able to see these characters as real life entities. The whole time I was reading it, they appeared in my mind as cartoon characters, unrealistic (within the genre), disjointed and flat.

I wanted to like this book so much and I'm really bewildered about the whole experience. Apparently people like the book.Read more ›
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3.0 out of 5 starsPotential in Danger
By Anna Hope VINE VOICE on February 17, 2008
Format: Paperback
Real Vampires is an entertaining story that has some fresh and imaginative thoughts to add to the Vampire genre. Unfortunately it has some of the trite stumbling blocks that seem to plague the books of even some of our favorite authors of late.

While the characters can be fresh and witty the heroine sleeps with just about anything, has a few unreal stumbling blocks ( she never once in 400 years has considered learning a single vamp power when she was surrounded by a powerful family full of vampires? But now suddenly they have appeal?), and the ending of both the main plot in the book as well as the smaller side plot are both glaringly evident well before you get to them.

Similar to Savannah Russe or Kimberly Raye our heroine is a clothes fiend, but in her case she's collected so many clothes and other items over the years that she decides to go into business selling her 'vintage' pieces. She has a psychic/bionic dog for protection and a handsome and powerful near husband who turned her. She continues to both draw him close when its convenient and push him away when its not in an immature fashion similar to her love and hate relationship with drinking blood.

To sum up: Some will get staked, Some will act heroic, and they'll be a good deal of dirty lust in between. It's an entertaining read to pick up, it just won't revolutionize your way of looking at the genre or otherwise rock your world.
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4.0 out of 5 starsA full-figured vampire? Sign me up!
By Cozmic Book Junkie on October 13, 2014
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I’ve had this book on my Amazon wish-list for years, and I finally purchased it. And I’m so glad I did. “Real Vampires Have Curves” was a quick-read that I read in about four hours, but it kept me entertained, and laughing the whole time.

The main-character, Glory St. Clair is a fashionable, full-figured vampire who’s moving to Austin to open up her own antique shop, “Vintage Vamp Emporium” with her talking dog, Valdez. Her on again, off again lover, Jerimiah Campbell aka Blade, is a hunky Scottish Vamp with an overprotective streak. He warns her that a vampire hunter is on the loose, and that she needs to be careful. The basic plot of the novel is her trying to find and defeat the vampire hunter. Not to spoil anything, but it has a few deaths, along with some laugh-out loud moments, and some quirky, interesting characters.

I fell in love with main character, Glory. I loved her voice, and dialogue in the book. It felt like I could hear her speaking in my head while I was reading, which was a good thing because the author really executed the character’s voice. Glory’s sassy, independent, and fun personality made her very likeable to me, but I could see how it could be annoying for some. She’s one of those characters or people that you either like them or you don’t. No real in-between.

Glory also had a couple of insecurities about her weight, and body at times, but I felt that it made her realistic. It made her feel like she was like every other women in the world. At times she annoyed me because she made stupid, naïve decisions, but she got better as the story progressed.

There is a slight love triangle in the book between Glory, Blade, and Damian, her roommate’s brother. But Damian comes off as sort of an arrogant arse so hopefully she chooses Blade.Read more ›
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Most Recent Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5 starsOn-again, Off-again Goodness

I love glory, and her on-again, off-again relationship makes for a good plot. There's also a nice, non-romance plot, which I like.

Published 1 month ago by Andrea Hall
5.0 out of 5 starsClair met and fell in love with Angus Jeremiah Campbell III

What does a slightly curvy vintage shop owner from Austin, Texas and a hot Scotsman have in common?...about 200 years of an on-again, off-again romance. Glory St. Read more

Published 3 months ago by karen metcalf-pugh
5.0 out of 5 starsA great book

A great book

Published 6 months ago by gypsy
5.0 out of 5 starsFive Stars

Love it

Published 9 months ago by addie
2.0 out of 5 starsLoved Glory… But the writing was awful.

It’s really hard for me to write a bad review of a book because I can understand the amount of time and effort that writers put into their work. Read more

Published 10 months ago by Pretty Little Book Reviews
5.0 out of 5 starsGreat series! Don't pick up the first one if you're not prepared to...

Love this series! I have them all on my kindle and reread them at least twice a year. I wish they would do a spinoff with Valdez, Ray or Glory's parents (oops, spoiler alert)... Read more

Published 13 months ago by Melissa DeWitt
3.0 out of 5 starsThree Stars

enjoyed the book, have ordered the second set of three

Published 13 months ago by R. Asher
5.0 out of 5 starsFive Stars

Awesome book! Came as shown online and was very prompt!

Published 16 months ago by Angela Hetherington
5.0 out of 5 starsFive Stars

Great read.

Published 19 months ago by Quinne Hanson
3.0 out of 5 starsThree Stars

bought as gift

Published 19 months ago by Prime addict

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