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Real Vampires Hate Their Thighs (Glory St. Claire, Book 5) Paperback – February 2, 2010

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Gerry Bartlett (Author)
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Gerry Bartlett (Author)
4.5 out of 5 stars 31 customer reviews
Book 5 of 11 in the Glory St. Clair Series
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 352 pages
  • Publisher: Berkley; First Edition edition (February 2, 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0425232239
  • ISBN-13: 978-0425232231
  • Product Dimensions: 5 x 0.9 x 8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (31 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #498,734 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5 starsWhat would you be willing to sacrifice to loose weight? Chocolate? Sugar? Carbs? Your lover? Your life?
By Terri Richison on February 2, 2010
Format: Paperback
For vampire Glory St. Clare weight loss has never been an option, since vampires go through all eternity with the exact same body they had on the day they were changed. Work-out, starve yourself, get a tattoo, a piercing - doesn't matter - one night of healing sleep and you're back to the exact body you started with.

Four hundred years ago, when her on-again/off-again boyfriend Jeremiah (Blade) Campbell III turned her vampire, Glory's voluptuous body was ideal for that time - fast forward to the 21st century and now she's slightly cubby. And that's bad enough when you are running a vintage dress shop in Austin, Texas, but in Hollywood Glory can't help but feel self-conscious of her size twelve body in a size zero world.

Newly turned vampire, rock star Israel Caine (Ray to his friends), was literally dumped on Glory's doorstep and she became his mentor, teaching him how to survive his new `life'. Soon the tabloids link Ray and Glory together and to defuse the gossip they pretend to be engaged. Ray has been nominated for a Grammy award and Glory accompanies him to Hollywood to walk the red carpet at his side. Of course, the tabloids are having a field day making fun of Ray's fat fiancée.

Enjoying the active Hollywood nightlife, Glory learns of a new weight loss drug for vampires. In spite of the astronomical expense, she starts taking the drug. The very first night, Glory wakes before sunset and, if not for the intervention of her body guard, she would have fried in the sun's rays. Unfortunately, there are even more potentially fatal side effects.

Blade insists Glory stop taking the drug because its inventor is a MacDonald and the MacDonalds and Campbells have been feuding for centuries.Read more ›
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2.0 out of 5 starsGlory needs to get over her weight obsession
By Tygerkat on November 24, 2015
Format: Paperback
I've read the other books in this series but unless Glory finally gets over her obsession with being "overweight" by the end of this one, this is the last in the series I'll read. My gosh! So she's a size twelve! She has all the hot guys lusting after her and telling her she's gorgeous, that they love her body, but because the society says she's overweight she thinks she is. This was annoying enough in the other four books but it's the entire plot of this one and I don't know if I can stand it long enouh to finish the book. Yes, I understand not being happy with your size but when the guy who's loved you for 400 years tells you you're beautful the way you are and the hot rock star, the Casanova, the random guy on the street tells you you're hot, LISTEN TO THEM and not the stupid people who think only a size 0 is beautiful. Yeesh, Glory!
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3.0 out of 5 starsDon't Diet or Hate Their Thighs? Which is It?
By Barbara Pringle VINE VOICE on April 23, 2010
Format: Paperback
I've enjoyed this series for the most part. Glory is an interesting woman, aside from being a vampire. She has the same sort of troubles the average American woman has - romantic problems, money problems, career problems. The ususal.

Having said that, I was disappointed with this book. There is the obvious: why do we have to have a diet book? Real Vampires Don't Diet! Aside from that, I didn't think the characters felt "real" the way they have in the past. I just didn't buy Glory's willingness to do "anything it took" to be thin. I can see other women doing that, but it didn't feel like Glory to me.

On the other hand, the family feud subplot was interesting and I will be interested in seeing how that plays out in future books.

If you're already a Glory fan, you might as well pick this up. If you're new to the series, begin at the beginning!
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5.0 out of 5 starslove it
By Chelsie on March 4, 2015
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I love these book! They are a must read!! It's got everything books should have in them!! The violence, love, hate, mystery, sex, and romance!!! The best part is it's got paranormal stuff! Vampires, werewolves, werecats, shifters, ghosts, and all that other awesomeness!!!💛💛💛💛
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5.0 out of 5 starsi love it
By cat on February 4, 2014
Format: Kindle Edition
this book keep you into it to see what happens next . when you start reading it you wont to put it down. and you will fall in love with this book it not the same old vampire books. i cant wait to see what happens in the next books
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4.0 out of 5 starsLighthearted urban fantasy
By A Customer on February 4, 2010
Format: Paperback
In Hollywood Glory St. Clair loves the nightlife especially hitting the bloody in spots with boyfriend, Jeremy Blade aka Jeremiah Campbell. When she meets Ian MacDonald, he swears he can help her meet her forever fantasy goal of losing weight. Being a vampire she assumes she cannot change her body type, but his diet works.

However, Jeremiah's clan has been blood feuding with the MacDonald brood for eternity. Glory has side affects from her diet like suffering nightmares that are even more shocking as she has not had a dream in four centuries. She protects Ian from Jeremiah and his kin as the loss of weight makes him her hero. Besides he is also working on another drug solution to enable vampires to remain awake in daytime.

Still obsessed over her waistline, Glory rejects the notion that Real Vampires Don't Diet when she accepts help from a MacDonald, which angers her boyfriend's clan as the feud has been on going for centuries. Lighthearted with an underlying message to diet healthily, fans of the series will enjoy this pleasant read as the lead character tries pharmaceuticals to lose the weight.

Harriet Klausner
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Most Recent Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5 starsSelf Image Issues

Poor Glory and her struggle to accept herself. She's in trouble again. Fortunately she has friends to help her.

Published 1 month ago by Andrea Hall
5.0 out of 5 starsFive Stars

I love Gerry's books! Highly Recommend.

Published 9 months ago by Gina G. Stout
5.0 out of 5 starsHollywood Highlife

Love this series... I could not attempt the crazy antics of Glory, but it sure makes a good read.

Published 21 months ago by Cbree6
5.0 out of 5 starsAbsolutely Love HER!

Glory really IS everywoman with fangs. Totally rooting for her. This whole series is laugh-out-loud funny. I highly recommend it.

Published on April 6, 2014 by Ablesd1
5.0 out of 5 starslove

I thought it would be an ok read but I can't put any of then down. She is a badass vamp

Published on March 28, 2014 by Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 starsOMG funny

Such a great read, love this series. Great fun reading make time wizz by! It got here fast considering the crazy weather! Thx and enjoy!

Published on February 28, 2014 by Lorna J. Dodge
2.0 out of 5 starsReal Vampires Hate Their Thighs

I really didn't care for this book or the series. I found it boring and just plain sdtupid. There was to much sex and not enogh storyline, for me.

Published on January 9, 2014 by Catherine Dugan
5.0 out of 5 starsLoved it

I love the series but wish it listed which book came 1th and so on so I would have been able to read them in line...not backwards.

Published on April 4, 2013 by Donna B. Falgout
5.0 out of 5 starsLove that Glory St Clair!

All of the stories about Glory are fun to read and enjoyable. She is like most average-sized women and hates her thighs and extra cellulite. Read more

Published on December 27, 2012 by Wanda C. Mackey
5.0 out of 5 starsExcellent service and book in excellent condition

Thank you so much. I have gotten hooked on her books. I was able to continue reading because the book came to me in good shape and in a speedy timely manner. THank you.

Published on August 6, 2012 by Elaine Sherman

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