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Protecting the Gift: Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe (and Parents Sane) Paperback – May 9, 2000

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Gavin de Becker (Author)
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Gavin de Becker (Author)
4.7 out of 5 stars 254 customer reviews
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 352 pages
  • Publisher: Dell; Reprint edition (May 9, 2000)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 9780440509004
  • ISBN-13: 978-0440509004
  • ASIN: 0440509009
  • Product Dimensions: 6.1 x 0.9 x 9.1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (254 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #17,257 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

3.0 out of 5 starsSome good info, but take with a large grain of salt
By Aaron Thompson on November 2, 2012
Format: Paperback
I would like to start off by saying that, had I read just the first couple chapters, I would have given the book one star. I think it's important to read the whole book before reviewing.

There were things I liked about the book, and other things I did not. I will start off with the positives.

The author explains in detail the signs that someone is trying to manipulate you, which can be applied to fraud, sexual predators, kidnappers, etc. They boil down to Forced Teaming, Charm and Niceness, Too Many Details, Typecasting, Loan-Sharking, The Unsolicited Promise, and Discounting the word "No". I won't go through each of these. You'll have to read the book for that.

The author talks about how the "never talk to strangers" rule is harmful to children. He says on p.82, "In addition to the fact that it doesn't work, The Rule actually reduces safety in several ways. One is that within the message Never Talk to Strangers (because they may harm you) is the implication that people you know will not harm you."

He offers really good questions to ask babysitters, nannies, daycare, school, and doctors.

He feels it is very important to teach your child about touch, the body, boundaries, communication, assertiveness, and sovereignty over the body. I was very pleased to see this, as I have always been told that kids who know these things are far less likely to be abused. It concerns me when parents label their child's vulva/vagina "cookie" or something similar. Imagine, "Teacher, Johnny touched my cookie." Doesn't sound very alarming, does it? Replace it with, "Teacher, Johnny touched my vulva." That gets a lot more attention.

He is supportive of victims of sexual abuse. On p.Read more ›
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5.0 out of 5 starsDon't Procrastinate!
By Kym on April 30, 2002
Format: Paperback
I hate reading anything that makes me feel anxious and initially this book sat on the shelf for weeks before I actually picked it up. I was so glad I did because there is such valuable information in here and I actually feel better about my child's safety than I did before.
Protecting the Gift: Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe and Parents Sane is about how to teach your child to trust her instincts when it comes to safety. Since 90% of child abuse and abductions occur by people well-known to your child, teaching her to talk to strangers just doesn't work. Instead, the author gives you detailed and logical steps to take, starting as early as toddlerhood, so you'll know how to help your child learn to follow her instincive feelings about whether someone is safe or not.
Crucial information about how to be prepared for (God forbid but we should all be prepared just in case) the event that your child may be seperated from you in public. Examples include making a daily detailed mental note of the clothing your child is wearing, keeping large photocopies of your child's picture and name in your purse/wallet so you can hand them out to security personel within seconds of your child's disappearance and an action plan for immediate implementation.
There is SO much in this book - every bit of it worth reading so you can protect your child - and I can't recommend it strongly enough. Read it NOW and be prepared.
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5.0 out of 5 starsIf you care about kids, you should read this book!
By A Customer on July 13, 1999
Format: Hardcover
Gavin De Becker's new book is a valuable and important extension of his excellent "The Gift of Fear." I teach high school psychology and had my classes read TGOF, which proved to be an eye-opening, empowering tool for teenagers. "Protecting the Gift" expands on these ideas by specifically focusing on child and teenager safety. While I agree with some minor criticisms that the new book repeats some older material, the repeated material is worth hearing again, and the new book provides the most thoughtful and specific advice I have heard on how to talk to children about self-protection. As I new parent, I am grateful for De Becker's instructions. My own parents are wonderful, but as I suspect is true of the vast majority of families, they never talked to me as a child about how to recognize, prevent, and report sexual abuse--or how to trust my intuition and say no to adults in any number of questionable circumstances. By teaching us how to engage in this dialogue, De Becker is doing the public a great service!
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5.0 out of 5 starsBuy it for yourself and those who take care of your child
By Craig Stephans VINE VOICE on November 13, 2003
Format: Paperback
While expecting our first baby and then as new parents, my wife and I received loads of excellent advice from friends and family regarding childbirth, doctors, baby-care, day-care, formula brands, etc. Last week, as a father with 8 weeks of experience in parenting, I had my first opportunity to offer advice to an expectant parent. I suggested she visit two day care centers I had liked, visit the pediatrician my wife and I chose, and read Protecting the Gift by Gavin de Becker.

Gavin de Becker makes his living predicting and preventing violent behavior. His firm provides security and consultation to celebrities, athletes, world leaders, the CIA, U. S. Supreme Court and other security organizations around the world.

In Protecting the Gift, de Becker introduces parents to startling statistics revealing the violent reality of our culture: one in four girls and one in six boys will be sexually molested by the time they reach adulthood; 90 percent of sexual abuse is committed by someone the child knows; the most common age that sexual abuse begins is when the child is three years old. Most parents live with a mindset that denies or ignores this reality. But as de Becker shows in his book, our children are living in this reality everyday.

De Becker's purpose in this book is two-fold: 1) to hit parents in the face with the real dangers awaiting children, and 2) to teach parents how to avoid fruitless worry and to take meaningful steps to protect children. On both points, de Becker succeeds.

Parents are raising children during an age when an FBI child-pornography sting indicts teachers, coaches, pastors and judges. It is an age of guns and date-rape drugs.Read more ›
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Most Recent Customer Reviews

4.0 out of 5 starsGood

Good

Published 8 days ago by Shannon AA
5.0 out of 5 starsIlluminates myths that parents need to stop believing

Exposed many many popularly beliefs as false and as being widely misreported.

Published 20 days ago by Amber Jenne
5.0 out of 5 starsHighly recommended

This is frightening to read, but has some excellent information. It has definitely changed how I interact with others and how I watch out for my kid. Read more

Published 1 month ago by KMac
5.0 out of 5 starsFive Stars

Perfect if you want to protect and educate your children regards predators.

Published 2 months ago by Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 starsFive Stars

Every parent needs to read!!

Published 3 months ago by BigBen
5.0 out of 5 starsFive Stars

A must read for all young parents. Who can your kids trust.

Published 3 months ago by Robert Kearney MD
4.0 out of 5 starsFour Stars

Great training tool.

Published 4 months ago by Malorie L Miller
2.0 out of 5 starsAppears to be mostly stories and raw opinion

Much of this book is composed of anecdotal information - ie, stories that the author has heard of about abuse and/or kidnapping of children. Read more

Published 4 months ago by Jack London
5.0 out of 5 starsfull of truly useful, insightful

A must-read for caring parents, as well as young women. Not your average book of advice about child rearing; full of truly useful, insightful, educational, forward-thinking,... Read more

Published 4 months ago by M.Blake
5.0 out of 5 starsHe is brilliant and his work is unequalled

EXTRAORDINARY! Gavin De Becker gives the MOST spot on advice for protecting children and yourself. He is brilliant and his work is unequalled. Read more

Published 5 months ago by Andie

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