American Thighs: The Sweet Potato Queens' Guide to Preserving Your Assets (Hardcover)

~ (Author)
Key Phrases: magic fingers, cute shoes, giant cow, Mary Katherine, Miss Lydy, The Cutest Boy (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Starred Review. Having previously written books on finding a man, planning a wedding, raising kids and coming through a divorce, Browne's latest offers hilarious tips on enjoying our inexorable trudge into Geezerdom. Browne is already checking off the days until November 23, 2012, when she turns 60 and can move into a retirement home; at 80, she plans to start smoking again. Looking back at her youthful follies (like slathering on baby oil for all-day tanning sessions), she warns, Karma is listening and she has ears like a bat. She and her sister have a pact to Get the Pillow (smother the other in her sleep) when the time comes. In Browne's case, that will be if I start watching reality TV, quoting Dr. Phil, riding roller coasters and seem to have forsaken bacon in favor of anything soy. While exhorting the pleasures of giving in to comfortable sandals and roomy underwear, Browne, in her best book yet, offers laugh-out-loud, slightly off-topic digressions (she passionately defends the term brick shithouse and rebukes tummy-control swimsuits). (Jan.)
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Product Description

"If I can save one woman from these thighs, I will not have lived in vain," #1 New York Times bestselling humorist Jill Conner Browne writes in American Thighs, her handbook and memoir for the Hot and Flashy. Whether young enough to look "hot" or of the age to only feel that way (in flashes with buckets of sweat), every woman has given, or will give, ample thought to preserving her best "assets" (thighs included), so that the dread transition from "cute girl" to "ma'am" won't be quite so unsettling.

Here are stories of growing up and learning about life -- usually the hard way! From disastrous haircuts and color jobs to fashion or verbal faux pas committed, from the kiss wished for but never gotten to the one that should have been skipped, these are the moments that mark each of our journeys from what we thought back then to what we now know. Since to say that Youth is wasted on the Young has got to be the understatement of all time, it falls upon Browne, as one older and wiser, to take a "Hit and Run" down Memory Lane for the sake of offering "Asset-Preserving Tips," with astonishing disclosures about:

Why women have risked their lives just to get a little bit blonder

How the muumuu has been fashionably resurrected as the "patio dress"

Why it's important to always have a good photo of yourself on hand -- just in case

How, no matter what skin you're in, to make it last a lifetime

Why you can never trust anyone over eighty-five

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 320 pages
• Publisher: Simon & Schuster; 1 edition (December 30, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0743278380
• ISBN-13: 978-0743278386
• Product Dimensions: 7.6 x 5.8 x 1.1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (8 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #83,707 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

7 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars still laughing, January 15, 2009

By	Patricia Don Diego "IMZORRO" (Stevensville, Mt. United States) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

What a great book. I laughed so hard and so often I scared my dogs.
When something is this enjoyable to read, why, it just makes any day a little brighter and happier. And of course there are the recipes! What more could one ask for? Laughter and food! This book has it all!

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A funny observation of American society and women's culture, March 15, 2009

By	Midwest Book Review (Oregon, WI USA) - See all my reviews

AMERICAN THIGHS: THE SWEET POTATO QUEENS' GUIDE TO PRESERVING YOUR ASSETS comes form a humorist contributor to the New York Times and provides a handbook and memoir for women on being flashy and attractive. From why women risk their lives for blonde hair to how the muumuu has become the ordinary 'patio dress' and how to let loose one's 'inner hooker', AMERICAN THIGHS is a funny observation of American society and women's culture, recommended for any general-interest lending library.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars GREAT BOOK!, March 2, 2009

By	S. Glusko "RedNole" (Tallahassee, FL) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This book lived up to her previous works and I could not put it down until I read it cover to cover! HRH has another winner!