Becoming Parents: How to Strengthen Your Marriage as Your Family Grows (Paperback)

~ Pamela L. Jordan (Author), Scott M. Stanley (Author), Howard J. Markman (Author) "Researchers who study married couples have found that the way couples handle conflict is an important predictor of their chances of divorce..." (more)
Key Phrases: hidden issues, friendship time, Speaker-Listener Technique, Problem-Solving Process, Problem Solution (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

The minds of parents-to-be are occupied by many topics: labor and childbirth, infant care, nursery colors. Few anticipate the pressure parenthood can put on their marriage and how they'll feel uncertain, exhausted, overwhelmed, and downright afraid. Now, from the authors of Fighting for Your Marriage, comes a book designed specifically to help couples improve their relationships in preparation for parenthood. In Becoming Parents: How to Strengthen Your Marriage as Your Family Grows, Pamela L. Jordan, Scott M. Stanley, and Howard J. Markman offer essential advice to new parents on surviving this potentially trying time. It will help you communicate more clearly, better manage conflict, create lasting solutions to problems, identify underlying issues and expectations, and understand how morals and beliefs impact everyday communication.

Becoming Parents also delves into the larger issues of commitment, forgiveness, and intimacy, and explores the role of fun and friendship in happy relationships. It even tackles very touchy subjects: who gets up when the baby cries at night, the division of household tasks, and sex--all the stuff of everyday arguments. Through real-life examples and useful exercises in each chapter, the authors help you to better understand yourself and your partner. These are tools to use in your daily conversations, so you can build a happy, loving home for your baby. --Kelley Smith --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Review

"...this book is likely to be an asset to any new parent." -- Counselling & Psychotherapy Journal, February 2001

"Becoming Parents teaches survival skills necessary to raise your child, while managing to thrive in your marriage. If you're thinking about having kids, read this book." (John Gray, author, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

"Marriages, like children, need constant care and nurturing if they're going to thrive and develop. This book offers all parents a clear, concise, and wonderfully insightful program that will go a long way toward making marriages?and families?stronger and healthier." (Armin A. Brott, author of The Expectant Father: Facts, Tips, and Advice for Dads-to-Be and A Dad's Guide to the Toddler Years)

"Anyone can figure out how to put a diaper on a baby-but how do you keep your marriage strong and stable as you become parents? Finally, a book that teaches survival skills to help couples who are on the road to parenthood stay connected and happy." (Suzanne M. Lewis, Lamaze Certified Childbirth Educator)

"Becoming Parents zeroes in on the problems that can strain a marriage and offers practical techniques to help couples talk and solve problems. Research-based and clearly written, this book will increase the joys and decrease the stresses of parenthood." (Penny Simkin, coauthor, Pregnancy, Childbirth and the Newborn: The Complete Guide)

"...really believe that much can be gained from reading, studying, and discussing it." (International Journal of Adolescent Medical Health, Vol.13, No.4, 2001)

"...this book is likely to be an asset to any new parent." (Counselling & Psychotherapy Journal, February 2001)

"...really believe that much can be gained from reading, studying, and discussing it." -- International Journal of Adolescent Medical Health, Vol.13, No.4, 2001

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Product Details

• Paperback: 336 pages
• Publisher: Jossey-Bass; 1 edition (April 9, 2001)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0787955523
• ISBN-13: 978-0787955526
• Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 6.1 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 15.7 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #551,861 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

28 of 28 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars I wish I had this book before I had my child., November 24, 1999

By	Kris Blackledge (San Francisco, CA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Becoming Parents: How to Strengthen Your Marriage As Your Family Grows (Hardcover)

"Becoming Parents" is not for the light-hearted or for those who are hoping to hear what may not be realistic. As I read this book, I often found myself putting it down just to think through the material. I needed some time to think about the content and what it meant for my marriage. I purchased this book after having my son and after completing a Master's degree in Marriage and Family Therapy...and I learned a lot from it. I wish I had this book before I had my child. It would have strengthened my half of the marriage which, I believe, would have helped my partner. This book displays the importance of a partnership and to make the partnership a priority over everything else that is going on in life. I know, it's difficult to put anything else before this life growing inside you...but this book (together with more understanding of marriage through my graduate studies) helped me to realize - three years after having my son and three months after completing my program - that my relationship with my partner is the most powerful factor in my child's life. I hope you will feel the same.

17 of 17 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A MUST-HAVE FOR PARTNERS BECOMING PARENTS!, November 30, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Becoming Parents: How to Strengthen Your Marriage As Your Family Grows (Hardcover)

This book is a realistic approach to helping parnters solve problems in a systemic and healthy way. It teaches effective skills to be used in the event that a problem situation should arise. Although we all have different relationships with our partners, this book is in NO way a pessimistic or unrealistic look at becoming parents. It is a helpful guide to help make your relationship stronger and more stable - especially during the most trying time...having a first child! This book is a must-have for all people with children. The skills taught are even helpful for those who do not and are not going to have children. P.Jordan, S.Stanley, & H.Markman deserve an award!

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Becoming parents, August 24, 2001

By	Joav Merrick (Israel) - See all my reviews

Pamela Jordan is an associate professor at the Department of Family and Child Nursing at the University of Washington in Seattle, who developed the “Becoming parents program”. Scott Stanley is codirector of the Center for Marital and Family Studies at the University of Denver in Colorado, who together with Howard Markman, professor of psychology at the University of Denver, have developed PREP (Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program, which comprise chapter 1-12 in this book) and also together authored the best selling books on “Fighting for your marriage” and “A lasting promise”. The book has four major parts and a total of 16 chapters: Handling conflict and protecting you marriage, Going deeper and dealing with core issues, Relationship enhancements and maintaining the great things with the final section on Creating a healthy lifestyle. In one of the chapters the authors give us a warning: “Do not try parenting by yourselves”, which together with “It takes a village to raise a child” are both true statements that many parents can learn from. Besides from these popular statements the book is full of examples, practical advice and ideas on how to make marriage and parenthood a “better business” for you. This book is intended for first time parents and we really believe that many parents can gain from reading, studying and discussing the contents...