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Living with Your Husband's Secret Wars Paperback – October 1, 1999

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Marsha Means (Author)
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Marsha Means (Author)
3.7 out of 5 stars 42 customer reviews
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 224 pages
  • Publisher: Revell; Reprinted edition (October 1, 1999)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0800757106
  • ISBN-13: 978-0800757106
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.6 x 8.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12.5 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (42 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #368,014 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5 starsThe way to healing
By A Customer on March 23, 2001
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
IN the last year I have read many books on this subject. This is the best one so far written for the wives of sexual addicts. It does not focus on HIS problem, the why's and how's of his motives and recovery. It is not written in a way that caused me to relive the pain through the stories of other women's pain. It has helped me to see a way for MY recovery from the pain his addiction has caused. To see hope and healing no matter what the outcome of the relationship. It is filled with stories of other women who had made through to the other side of this awful journey. As well as comments from the husbands that hurt them. Some remained married, some didn't, but all found healing. The strong biblical basis is exactly what I needed. It was practical, encouraging, honest, and very helpful. It will lead YOU on the road to recovery from the betrayl and suffering caused by your husbands infidelity.
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5.0 out of 5 starsRight ON
By A Customer on April 14, 2000
Format: Paperback
I was so relieved to find this book. My husband has struggled with sexual addiction since before our marriage. It is such a confusing subject, especially in todays accepting society. I was so thankful to know the truth concerning the damage pornography has on intimate relationships. It is a relief to find such honesty. Women discuss the pain this type of addiction has caused them. I now know that my feelings are valid and I am not crazy to be upset about my husband's use of pornography. It has and is doing real damage to all concerned. I am seeking help now for codependancy on my part. The book reccomends paths to healing which I am eager to begin. Thanks Marsha!
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2.0 out of 5 starsOff the Mark
By A Customer on August 8, 2003
Format: Paperback
I was totally disapointed with this book. After reading lots of reviews for this, as well as other books on this topic, I decided I'd have to take a chance with it. I guess I shouldn't have. The majority of the book was about support groups; finding and/or starting one for (you the reader) having spouses with sexual addictions... This book seemed to be more geared towards actual physical unfaithfulness such as sex with prostitutes, random sexual affairs, etc. If you are looking for a book on pornography and internet affair issues, I wouldn't recommend this book.
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1.0 out of 5 starsNot for wives of husbands who want to change
By here in the southeast on March 11, 2005
Format: Paperback
I read this book for a friend and it was nowhere near as good as Breaking Free (by Russ Willingham) that my husband and I read to address the same problem. From what I gathered, Marsha Means has never herself experienced sexual betrayal, just the fear of it. She has some basic info on codependency in the book, but I would argue that the wife chapter in Breaking Free is just as practical without all the scary stories with no resolution. If your husband wants to change, read Breaking Free together and leave this one on the shelf. You might find yourself loving your husband through his not-so-secret wars, not just living with him.
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5.0 out of 5 starsAt last...
By Trish G on May 26, 2004
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
At last a book that really speaks to my heart. This book covers so many of the different types of sexual addiction out there. Yes, it does have a Christian foundation in the recovery process, but that is what I needed. When testimonials are given by other women, they speak to my heart and help with the grief. Sexual addiction is a struggle of morality. It violates our wedding vows, it makes you wonder who you have been lying next to in bed, going to church with, and eating family dinners with. This book has helped me understand this is not my problem, but I can be there for him. So many books send the message that it's his problem so I should go off and take care of myself, to heck with him. This book gives a hope to repair my broken heart and be there for him.
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1.0 out of 5 starsReady to Run...
By A Customer on September 3, 2001
Format: Paperback
I purchased this book as a guide to understanding and coping with my husbands sex addiction. After reading 3/4 of the book I couldn't read anymore. I was becoming more and more depressed about my situation and ready to run from it. The night I read this book I ended up getting in a fight with my husband, accusing him of sleeping with prostitutes and freaking out that I might have gotten aids or some other disease from him. This book is filled with distorted examples of various couples' situations and how the woman has chosen to deal with it and what the results of her decision were. It is in no way a guide to understanding or dealing with the addiction as it offered very limited information on the subject and the root causes for it (which have nothing to do with the woman). There was nothing pleasant or reassuring about it. I don't think it was written to help you cope with the situation but rather to be afraid of it and run!!! I would not recommend this book to any woman in this situation as it caused even more hostility and distrust between my husband and I.
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5.0 out of 5 starsHonesty is scary
By A Customer on March 16, 2002
Format: Paperback
As a Christian this is one of the books I've read on sexual addiction that has caused me to look at myself and how I am not being honest with God or myself. Having a spouse with this addiction is shameful to them and yourselves. This book helps to give steps to feel it, deal with it, and get past it. But you have to be ready to honest with yourself.
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4.0 out of 5 starsYour first step: a must read
By Woman moving on on June 27, 2002
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I read this book when I first found out my boyfriend was a sexual addict. Thank God we found out 1 and one half year into our relationship. This book was helpful to me because it showed the exact nature of the addiction. Things that I saw in him and myself.
THE CODEPENDENCY part of it for me was astounding because I had never thought of myself in that way. Then I was able to start counseling for myself and give over to GOD the entire situation (with him in his own counseling of course)without the codependent curse of 'trying to fix' his problem and making his problem the source of my depression and frustration.
So now I can refer to other literature on Codepence and help myself. This book is great for someone just finding out about the sex addiction. I couldnt give it 5 stars because it doesn't really tell you how you can actively move on and progress without sinking into deep depression.
I am thankful that I am finding out about myself now and my needs so that if I choose to remain with my boyfriend I know that I will be ok no matter what happens with him, or if i move onto a new relationship, hwatever attrated me to a sex addict or an addictive personality in the first place will not affect me again
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Most Recent Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5 starsFive Stars

great

Published 6 months ago by slg
5.0 out of 5 starsFive Stars

A good book on this subject matter. Helpful, hopeful and encouraging.

Published 7 months ago by Loretta
5.0 out of 5 starsDivorced the jerk and so much happier now. This book helped me become...

Divorced the jerk and so much happier now. This book helped me become strong and get rid of toxicity that was prevailing my life!
Thanks

Published 11 months ago by ashourina woods
5.0 out of 5 starsFive Stars

FAST SHIPPING

Published 12 months ago by ANDREA
5.0 out of 5 starsI would recommend this book to anyone who is going through with ...

Very informative. I would recommend this book to anyone who is going through with this type of issue

Published 14 months ago by Marretha
5.0 out of 5 starsFive Stars

Great

Published 14 months ago by Rose
2.0 out of 5 starsBuy Marsha Means newer book. "Your Sexually Addicted Spouse ...

Buy Marsha Means newer book. "Your Sexually Addicted Spouse." Will help you with the trauma much more.

Published 16 months ago by tmthiessen
2.0 out of 5 starswaste of my money

I was under the impression the book was a husband's personal story. I found it to be more of a documentary. I didn't get past 3 pages...waste of my money.

Published 17 months ago by Cathy Duvall
3.0 out of 5 starsDoesn't address issues of PTSD for the wives, so ...

Doesn't address issues of PTSD for the wives, so it is a bit outdated.

Published 20 months ago by I. E. Batstone
1.0 out of 5 starsNOT helpful at all

I couldn't read it I was so disappointed in it. She's never experienced this issue herself and seems to focus on women being co-dependent and encouraging the reader to start her... Read more

Published on November 4, 2013 by Amazon Customer

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