"Why Do I Love These People?": Understanding, Surviving, and Creating Your Own Family (Paperback)

~ (Author)
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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

The 19 families profiled in this absorbing book face a familiar litany of domestic dysfunction: infidelities, substance abuse, teen pregnancy, messy divorces and the intergenerational estrangement of immigrants. Novelist and social documentarian Bronson (What Should I Do with My Life?) finds the solutions to their dilemmas in the good old-fashioned elements of character and action, as people take stock of themselves and their motivations and painstakingly piece together their relationships and lives. Bronson's is an unromantic view of family life; its foundations, he believes, are not soul-mate bonding or dramatic emotional catharses, but steady habits of hard work and compromise, realistic expectations and the occasional willingness to sever a relationship that's beyond repair. But he also has an optimistic view of today's crazy-quilt of blended and unconventional families, reassuring commitment-shy young adults that "the golden era of family is not in our past, it's in our future." Bronson occasionally lapses into shallow pop psychology, as when he chalks up one husband's philandering to the oxytocin "high" caused by sex with someone new. But usually he offers a probing, clear-eyed, hopeful narrative of familial problems that many readers will recognize. Photos.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

From Booklist

Bronson interviewed 700 people, 19 of whom are chronicled here. His book is "about decoding the mystery of family life." The stories center on men and women who lead satisfying lives with their families despite destructive childhoods, people who overcome their impulses to repeat what was inflicted upon them, and those who heal in their own particular way, not conforming to any fashion. There are some relationships rescued from the brink and some people whose lives improved after a much-needed divorce or break from their parents. Some couples created compromises by which both get their needs met and contribute equally to the family culture. Others take responsibility for the rest of their lives and no longer let themselves be victims of their experiences. The author examines such subjects as divorce, death, illness, money, prejudice, and abuse. The author of What Should I Do with My Life? (2002) posits that to give and receive love during hard times, it helps to have been shown how beforehand. George Cohen
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 400 pages
• Publisher: Random House Trade Paperbacks (December 26, 2006)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0812972422
• ISBN-13: 978-0812972429
• Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.1 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (34 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #209,898 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

22 of 22 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Inspires you to commit to your relationships, April 2, 2006

By	Kanishka Sinha "Prometheus' Odyssey" (Mumbai, India) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Why Do I Love These People?: Honest and Amazing Stories of Real Families (Hardcover)

I think the most striking part of this book is that you feel comforted by the fact that the problems you're facing in your own relationships are commonplace. They're not dysfunctional. Every family has its share of issues and you don't need to feel overly guilty for yours. The book's underlying theme is that families that honesty, consideration, character, belief and perhaps above everything else - resilience, can get you through the worst debacles and that at the end of the day it's probably (though not always) worth the effort.

Stories include:
Resentment about controlling parents who appear to display conditional loving and also about appreciating how much of their lives parents sacrifice to bring the kids up; the search for redemption after abandoning a kid or cheating on a wife, the courage required to break relationships that are dead and the perseverance required to bring one back from the dead (and the effect on kids), dealing with the families of your in-laws and family objection to marriage, how to deal with kids who are falling into bad habits when you feel powerless to influence their decisions because they no longer respect you or listen to you, dealing with the death of a child, how we feel obligated to spend time with our families rather than actually wanting to spend time with them and what we are losing, etc.

Although it may seem that most people cannot relate to these situations... actually I felt an amazing amount of empathy for the families and came away with a renewed conviction that I can get the perfect family life (with all it's frustrations and headaches) and balance it with everything.

If you have any relationship, friendship that you have a certain amount of frustration, resignation about then I strongly recommend this book. It is one of those books that if it hits you at the right time - it could change your relationships and your life.

26 of 28 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A great treasure!, January 23, 2006

By	Ian M. Enriquez "Counselor and lover of life" (San Francisco, California United States) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This review is from: Why Do I Love These People?: Honest and Amazing Stories of Real Families (Hardcover)

Life can be quite a maze of great joys and incredible pain, but every step of the way the greatest thing one can hope for is the capacity to learn and grow. Unfortunately, this is easier said than done. Pain is a great obstacle and most of us find ourselves trapped for most of our lives by our past.

This book is a true blessing. The book is filled with tons of stories from a multicultural array of relationship experiences where people learn to overcome the life's great obstacles and capture the true meaning of being alive. This book came to me at a low point in my life, when hope was slowly fading from my heart. This book gave me faith that pain is not an end, but a bump in life's journey. It is impossible to read this book and not come away inspired and nurtured by the stories of the people in its pages.

Do not miss the opportunity to experience this treasure as it will nourish your soul, but be warned-- you will be moved to buy this book for the people you care most about in life because this truly blessed experience is not meant to remain a secret.

12 of 12 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Wonderful biographical vignettes, April 1, 2006

By	Donna Delaune "donnaread" (Jeanerette, LA, USA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This review is from: Why Do I Love These People?: Honest and Amazing Stories of Real Families (Hardcover)

Po Bronson's WHY DO I LOVE THESE PEOPLE?, is exactly what the subtitle says...honest & amazing stories of real families. Many of them will open your eyes...some of them will bring tears to your eyes. This book is a must for any troubled family, or anyone who wants a "real" look at families around the world.