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Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea Paperback – December 29, 2009

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Chelsea Handler (Author)
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Chelsea Handler (Author)
4.1 out of 5 stars 1,141 customer reviews
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 272 pages
  • Publisher: Gallery Books; 1 Reprint edition (December 29, 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1416596364
  • ISBN-13: 978-1416596363
  • Product Dimensions: 5.3 x 0.7 x 8.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1,141 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #18,370 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5 starsOne of the funniest people in America
By D. Buxman TOP 500 REVIEWERVINE VOICE on April 16, 2008
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
I actually bought this book for my wife, since she had enjoyed Chelsea Handler's previous book, "My Horizontal Life." When the book arrived yesterday, I picked it up to peruse it and I couldn't put it down. This book is laugh-out-loud funny. The book contains stories from the author's life from around the age of 9 through adulthood that are funny from the perspective of men and women alike. As should be clear from the title, this book isn't for kids and the content can be pretty racy. If you aren't easily offended, however, it will probably be the most humorous book you read this year. I'd give it more than 5 stars if I could.
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1.0 out of 5 starsVery disappointed...
By Vince A. on July 16, 2008
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
Note to Kindle owners - download the first chapter of the book. If the first chapter makes you laugh then you may enjoy the book. If you're not laughing at that point it doesn't get much better.

I've just finished reading the book and it was one of the hardest times I've ever had finishing a book. Although there are a few laughs here and there, the book wasn't hilarious to say the least. You might laugh once and then wait another chapter or three before the next one comes along. I bought the book because of all of the "rave - laugh out loud" reviews I saw from other readers.

I didn't have a problem with the language, the off-color humor or any of the "offensive" things that were said in the book - it was just boring and not funny. What made it even worse is when some of the gags were used multiple times. For example in one story someone looks like they have Buckwheat in a leg-lock, a few chapters later someone looks like they have a clown in a leg-lock. Again, I was compelled to review this book because I couldn't believe so many people rated it 5-stars. I like her on TV, but the book was a snoozer.
16 Comments 180 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
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5.0 out of 5 starsI laughed a LOt
By Harvey on May 4, 2008
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
This is a laugh-out-loud book, great for the beach, not so good for a plane where your laughing will wake babies and make the other passengers jealous they don't have a copy. I got mine for my Kindle and I read it in one sitting. Seriously, pretty freaking funny.
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4.0 out of 5 starsCutting Edge Funny Stuff
By D. Muron on May 4, 2009
Format: Hardcover
Having seen Chelsea doing stand up and on Girls Behaving Badly, I was anxious to see how her wicked sarcastic wit would translate into text. It's fantastic! A seriously gifted writer, who combines funny and uninhibited raunchiness better than any woman. And it's not just the sheer ridiculous circumstances she encounters. She reflects about her mindless journeys and the meaning of life in such an amusing, self-deprecating and cynical manner.

Filled with funny anecdotes, she has that trashy comedienne's gift of saying everything we think about but are afraid to say. And she manages to share absolutely horrifying events and somehow make them hysterical!

There are some hilarious and uncomfortable family situations. Her father was quite the provider of wisdom, selling used junkyard cars out of their front yard, while making inappropriate sexual innuendos towards his daughters.

There's some really funny and humiliating youth debacles and misadventures. My favorites; her embarrassing and preposterous fake celebrity elementary school tale, a LOL birthday party for a friendless girl full of re-gifting, pretending to be honeymooning with her father in order to upgrade to first class. The Mini-Me and Prison Break chapters are just classics. Frankly if she wasn't successful, she may have ended up a basket case.

At some points in a story, I laughed so hard, my husband kept trying to steal the book from me. I didn't want the book to end. Everyone can find something to relate to in one of these stories.

If you are sensitive or quick to take offense, I would pass on this one. If you have a repressed wild side, you'll dive in headfirst and relish her antics and live vicariously through them.Read more ›
2 Comments 51 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
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2.0 out of 5 starsWhat went wrong?
By Laura Jean on May 3, 2008
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
Let me first be clear that I love Chelsea Handler. I DVR her show every night, I've even been to a taping in her studio and I even have tickets to her upcoming standup appearance.

Her first book was hilarious, but this one just misses the mark. Yes, there were a handful of times that I burst out laughing - she is a brilliant comedian. But the book is extremely disjointed and it was a struggle to see it through to the end. Was she just trying to fill up space? And why is Chuey all over the cover (my guess - to sell books) he's not mentioned once in the book (except for in the Acknowledgements).

I really can't figure out if she tried too hard, or didn't try hard enough.

Blah...I recommend saving your money. Sorry Chels...
6 Comments 104 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
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1.0 out of 5 starsWell ... she got the lying part right.
By Yinzer Grrl on April 21, 2011
Format: Paperback
Chelsea is touted as one of the top comedy writers in the industry. This book is touted as "hilarious."

HOW can that BE?

At best, I may have smiled a time or two in the first few chapters (and honestly, that's as far as I got). What bothered me the most? She'd reference certain periods of time and consistently got facts wrong.

The book opens in 1984 with her lying to a boy about being a movie actress, in which she claims to have read everything about the making of the Breakfast Club. Odd, since that movie wasn't released until 1985. She finds herself in prison at the age of 21 (1996), wondering if they have Internet there. Odd, since, in 1996 most people had only a slight grasp of the internet (via AOL) and since it wasn't the easiest thing to navigate back then, the only ones addicted to it were geeks. During the strip search, she claims no one laughed at her "junk in the trunk" reference. Well that's most likely because no one USED that phrase back then. She goes on to say that after her release from prison, she'd (sarcastically) planned on researching the name of the woman for whom the jail was named, by googling it. Um. Come ON. There WAS no Google in 1996.

So is the entire book just a poorly written, poorly researched lie? How did this end up on ANY bestseller list? I couldn't take any more and stopped reading. I'll donate it. Maybe someone somewhere needs a good door stop.
8 Comments 69 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
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Most Recent Customer Reviews

3.0 out of 5 starsAnd I thought I was a hoot...

I like the honesty of her story..her active imagination and stories were hilariously funny. I laughed out loud on the subway.

Published 7 days ago by Matrice & Semaje
5.0 out of 5 starsFun light hearted and made me laugh out loud on ...

Fun light hearted and made me laugh out loud on multiple occasions! Good if you are looking for something that's enjoyable but not going to keep you obsessed.

Published 9 days ago by AshTunn
5.0 out of 5 starsLooove!

I need more Chelsea in my life!

Published 14 days ago by Gretchen
5.0 out of 5 starsclassic Chelsea

If you know who Chelsea is, then you probably witnessed her mouthy, yet funny way. Her books are always fun to read. Hers life stories are a laugh after laugh. Read more

Published 14 days ago by Raechel B.
5.0 out of 5 starsExcellent book! Excellent seller!

I am totally addicted to Chelsea Handler, especially after reading this book. Would do business with seller again.

Published 15 days ago by Jennifer
5.0 out of 5 starsFive Stars

So funny

Published 25 days ago by florida girl
5.0 out of 5 starsFive Stars

Chelsea is refreshing. :)

Published 28 days ago by Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 starsFive Stars

Love her books!

Published 29 days ago by Andrea windhorst
5.0 out of 5 starsHilarious!

Love this book. So well written. I laughed out loud and I can't remember reading another book that has done that.

Published 1 month ago by ginger berkelhamer
5.0 out of 5 starsChelsea has a way of writing that makes you feel like, "That could...

One of the most hilarious books I've ever read. I cannot put it down! I've only read one other title by her, but after finishing this one, I will certainly be buying more. Read more

Published 1 month ago by Josh and Annie

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