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12 of 14 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars
Strange casting decisions quickly sink this Conan sequel, December 28, 2003
The 1982 film "Conan the Barbarian" is the film that gets the credit (or blame) for turning Arnold Schwarzenegger into a movie star, but it should be remembered more as the best Sword & Sorcery film produced to date. The main reasons, besides Schwarzenegger cutting an imposing figure as Conan, flexing his muscles and swinging his big sword, was that director John Milius treated the characters seriously and avoided descending into camp. But for the 1984 sequel "Conan the Destroyer," the key factor seemed to be coming up with casting in a similar vein to the logic that had landed Arnold the role. The story of "Conan the Destroyer" was by Roy Thomas and Gerry Conway, a pair of writers for Marvel Comics. Thomas was the writer for Marvel's "Conan the Barbarian," often adapating Robert E. Howard's stories, whether they were originally Conan stories or not. The story is a basic quest story where Conan escorts a virgin princess to bring back a powerful gem from a crystal palace, which will then be returned to a queen (Sarah Douglas), who turns out to be evil and wants to sacrifice the princess so the gem can used to summon an ancient demon, at which point wackiness will ensue. The problem is not in the story, which certainly allows you to string together a series of Sword & Sorcery adventures, but in the casting. The princess is played by Olivia d'Abo, who simply looks too young (i.e., Conan was forever leaving pregnant princesses behind in his various adventures but there is not chance for that sort of chemistry here). Her body guard, Bombaata, is played by basketball Hall of Famer, Wilt Chamberlain, while Zula, the warrior woman who joins the group is played by Grace Jones, the singer/dancer/model/crazy woman. Comic relif, which was relatively absent in the orignal film, is provided by Tracey Walter as Malak. With such casting the descent into camp becomes inevitable. Besides, there is nothing in this film even close to rivaling Arnold's best moments in the original (especially since the final shot of the old King Conan is recycled from the first film). Those who have actually read the originally Conan stories will also find it rather distressing that Toth-Amon, the great Stygian wizard who was Conan's biggest enemy in the Howard stories, is reduced to a pit stop on this quest (I remember thinking at the time that this was the equivalent of Darth Vader being one of the guys that got dispatched at the Cantina in "Star Wars"). Thomas and Conway were upset by Stanley Mann's final screenplay, as well as the finished film, and ended up turning their story into the graphic novel "Conan and the Horn of Azoth," with art by Mike Docherty (all the names got changed to avoid any confusion). Ultimately, "Conan the Destroyer" gets three stars because we round down simply to make sure that it is clear that "Conan the Barbarian" was a better movie. Besides, this 1984 film pretty much killed the franchise, although Milius is apparently preparing a 2005 film "King Conan: Crown of Iron," which there being a lot of speculation as to who will play Conan now that Arnold is Governor of Cal-e-fornia (the hot names are apparently all wrestlers).
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11 of 13 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Hail Conan, the Destroyer!, November 3, 2001
A Kid's Review
The Hyborian Age, when shinning kingdoms lay spread across the world like blue mantles beneath the stars and powerful sorcerors cast mighty spells, and a man lived by his sword. And on to this, Conan, destined to bare the jeweled crown of Aquilonia upon a troubled brow, and who had recently made motion picture history with his previous success "Conan the Destroyer", was hired by director Richard Fleischer, and cast along with Grace Jones, Wilt Chamberlain, and Mako. Hence this rousing fantasy-adventure, with wizards, princesses, and warriors a plenty! Yes, that's right, folks, that sword-wielding, Crom-worshipping Cimmerian is back, and this time, he's on a quest to help a princess retrieve a magical horn (don't worry, it's better than it sounds). Although this is definitely not as good as it's successer, this is still one good movie that will keep you entertained. It does get corny at times, and the acting does get a bit sloppy. But I still stick to my review. Basil Pouledouris does it again, with another great musical score. They should make another sequal, that shows how Conan becomes king of Aquilonia. But that is another story!
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10 of 12 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Great Depiction Of Conan's Character, August 16, 2002
Following the phenomenal success of both the original "Conan The Barbarian" movie as the following record-breaking smash with "The Terminator', Schwarzenegger found himself reluctantly under contract to film the first of three originally planned sequels to the Conan movie, "Conan the Destroyer". Yet this time it would be quite a different movie, more of a comic book approach to the pulp-fiction hero, with the emphasis on special effects and attempting to appeal to younger viewers. Indeed, the director of the original movie, John Milius, was not brought back to reprise his oversight, and the new director had very different ideas about how to interpret the character and the storyline. Arnold had come in a little lean yet muscular, and the director was less than thrilled. He insisted Schwarzenegger bulk up to more huge bodybuilding proportions, and delayed filming while Arnie quickly bulked up more than 30 pounds by training like a madman for three months or so. The result is a movie in which Conan is reduced to a comic book type figure, and all of the dark and brooding nuances of the character as depicted in the original film are absent. That much said, Arnold looks absolutely terrific, very big and quite muscular, and some of the action scenes, especially in the beginning and toward the end, are quite reminiscent of the first film. The special effects are quite good in spots, although some of the sets and dialogue are a bit wooden and unrealistic. There is a lot of good humor in the film, and the supporting cast has luminaries like Grace Jones, Wilt Chamberlain, and Olivia D'Abo cast well for some interesting hijinks along the way. The plot seems silly and contrived, and the only saving grace seems to be the final confrontation with the creature summoned up from Hell by the sorceress to conquer the world. The ensuing struggle between a mere mortal like Conan and the supernatural creature seems right out of the Robert Howard novels, and serves to redeem the movie in the lat moments. This is not something I would recommend for children, as it is quite frightening at points, and it also has a lot of dialogue referring to "D'Abo's "virtue" or chastity, which gets to be a bit much as it is repeated again and again. But any chance to see Conan seemingly come to life as only he can through the magic of movies is worth all these quibbles, and I have turned this on for some rather mindless action entertainment perhaps more often than I want to discuss publicly. It isn't a particularly well-made film, and it has a few plot holes that even an idiot could think his way through. Yet it also has the saving grace of giving us Arnold playing the part of Conan as only he could, after all. And as the character says in one of Howard's most famous stories about him, "Who dies first?" Enjoy!
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by Robert E. Howard
