The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures (Paperback)

~ Dossie Easton (Author), Janet W. Hardy (Author)
Key Phrases: public sex, ethical sluthood, group sex environments, Resource Guide, San Francisco, Existing Relationship (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Product Description

For anyone who has ever dreamed of love, sex, and companionship beyond the limits of traditional monogamy, this groundbreaking guide navigates the infinite possibilities that open relationships can offer. Experienced ethical sluts Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy dispel myths and cover all the skills necessary to maintain a successful and responsible polyamorous lifestyle--from self-reflection and honest communication to practicing safe sex and raising a family. Individuals and their partners will learn how to discuss and honor boundaries, resolve conflicts, and to define relationships on their own terms.

From the Publisher

* The essential guide for singles and couples who want to explore polyamory in ways that are ethically and emotionally sustainable.
* Revised and updated throughout, with new strategies for single sluts, advice for opening an existing relationship or marriage, and exercises for thinking about and discussing open relationships.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 296 pages
• Publisher: Celestial Arts; 2nd edition (March 10, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1587613379
• ISBN-13: 978-1587613371
• Product Dimensions: 9 x 6 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (13 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #5,211 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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  #23 in	Books > Health, Mind & Body > Sex > Sex Instruction
  #48 in	Books > Health, Mind & Body > Relationships > Love & Romance

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

37 of 39 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing, essential book for all relationships, April 24, 2009

By	IReadInTrees (San Francisco, CA, US) - See all my reviews

The Ethical Slut is incredible!

I first read The Ethical Slut (first edition) as part of a college course. As an undergrad, I was already well on my way to being a proud slut - I did the usual versions of short-term college dating, hookups, friends-with-benefits, threesomes, and the like, with or without a committed partner at various times. It all felt natural and right, but there were invariably awkward moments of poor negotiation, misunderstood communication, and mis-handled jealousy.
When I read The Ethical Slut, I found an amazing wealth of information and suggestions on how I could make my various relationships work better and more smoothly. I wished I'd had this book all along - it would have saved so much trouble! If only I'd known that an agreement to "see other people" wasn't nearly complete enough! The Ethical Slut lays out all the things to think about in having open relationships of various sorts. I've been called a slut since I was 14, but it was this book that gave me the idea that being a slut could be a good thing - and now I couldn't be happier with my fabulous life as a proud slut.

The Ethical Slut is an entertaining, readable, real-life explanation of all the options in relationships. Whether you want to be single or partnered or grouped, poly or monogamous, or whatever else, this book helps you figure out all the possibilities better. It's THE relationship book for anyone who wants more options than a "leave-it-to-beaver" relationship.

If you're just starting to explore open relationships, or you're even just thinking about it, there's no better place to start than with this book. And if you're already immersed in poly life, it's got the "advanced level" information you need. For those who know and love the first edition, the second edition is definitely worth adding to your collection. There's a ton of new information on the really crucial details of how to make all sorts of poly and open relationships work.

The second edition now has exercises exercises, taken from Dossie Easton's work as a therapist with poly folks, that you and/or your partner(s) can work on together. I loved the new section on living as a single slut - which makes the point that sluthood and open loving can be an identity that doesn't require a conventional partnership to secure or ground it. It also offers ideas on how to get one's needs met from a network of friends and lovers - useful information for pretty much anyone. The new segments on handling jealousy and conflict are especially good for those of us who have been involved in poly relationships for some time and need the more detailed info, from the voices of experience, to help through the rough spots. I feel like I'm always learning in poly relationships, and every time I go back to The Ethical Slut, there's some tidbit that helps with the complicated, hard, or unexpected parts of a generally fabulous poly life.

Whether you've read the first edition or not, this is definitely a book you should own. I've read it 3 or 4 times now, and I keep going back to it to check out certain sections that become more relevant as I encounter new poly challenges.

Rather than offering generalities and theories, The Ethical Slut speaks from many people's experience over many decades. It's the real-life information that you need to make all your relationships amazing!!

(and, speaking of making sex and play and relationships amazing, check out some of Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy's other books - The Topping Book, The Bottoming Book, When Someone You Love Is Kinky, and Radical Ecstasy!)

26 of 29 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars opened my mind to new possibilities!, March 10, 2009

By	Jenny Gilbert (Athens) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

I have always loved sex, but growing up in the South, felt a bit guilty about that. Even though I had open-minded parents, the society around me shaped my beliefs more than I often like to admit.

I found this book very helpful as it showed me that I am not the only one to feel as I do about sex and, more importantly, that I'm not a "bad" person for feeling this way.

Whether or not you are interested in having more sex, or justifying the sex you already have, this book will help you to work with the mental issues around that.

Being an "ethical slut" is about much more than sex though-- it's about having the courage to express your feelings and following your desires. It's about expanding yourself to new levels and going way beyond the limits society has set for you.

Of course, that is my definition. One of the great things about this book is that it allows you to define "ethical slut" for yourself. The authors throw it all out there. Bisexuality, multiple partners are once, marriage, leather, bondage, and more is included here. You pick what works for you. You're also free to change that at any time.

Good book. Very progressive and certainly not for everybody. The book encourages you to follow your own road though, so if you read it, do so knowing that it's perfectly ok for you to disagree.

A related book, which I also love, and I think you will also, is Just Fk Me! - What Women Want Men to Know About Taking Control in the Bedroom. Something else to make you question everything and come up with your own thoughts.

8 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars More of the same wonderful advice on how to be an open, respectful, and honest slut, June 10, 2009

By	Sacramento Book Review "SacramentoBookReview.com" (Sacramento, CA) - See all my reviews

This is a second edition book, branching off of Easton and Hardy's 1997 book, The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Possibilities. This second edition expands to include new topics, such as polyamory. The original Ethical Slut has been touted as "the open relationship Bible" -- a must-read for anyone wanting to open their relationship. The expanded edition gives us more of the same wonderful advice on how to be an open, respectful, and honest slut. Opening up a relationship, you can imagine, is not one of the easier things one would do in their life. The are probably so many cheaters in this world, because it's simply easier to cheat than to put forth the effort to go about having an open relationship in a healthy and respectful way.

I enjoyed reading the first edition as much as this second one, and have always recommended this book, even if you're not looking to "be a slut." Easton and Hardy offer practical guidelines for any type of relationship, for all relationships must have the foundation of trust and openness in which to build upon.