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Baby Love: Choosing Motherhood After a Lifetime of Ambivalence Paperback – March 4, 2008

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Rebecca Walker (Author)
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Rebecca Walker (Author)
3.6 out of 5 stars 62 customer reviews
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 240 pages
  • Publisher: Riverhead Books (March 4, 2008)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1594482888
  • ISBN-13: 978-1594482885
  • Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.5 x 0.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 7 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (62 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #601,111 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

4.0 out of 5 starsAmbivalent Review
By J. Aragon VINE VOICE on August 5, 2007
Format: Hardcover
I read this book in two sittings and have meant to write the review for several days now. I can't decide if it mostly narcissistice drivel or just occasionally dripping with narcissism. I enjoyed some parts of the book, but my copy is filled with comments penciled in the margins. I'm still processing the book.

I will say that some parts of this book would have made more sense if the reader read her previous book, _Black, White and Jewish_ where she tears into her mother and offers a memoir that will make you vacillate between feeling sorry for her and then wondering how in the hell she could be so damn egocentric.

That said, this book is like the book end to the previous book with the diatribe(s) against her famous mother. She is obviously working through her issues regarding too much freedom that she was given by her parents. What has troubled me between those two particular books (and I have read her other books/anthologies and many of her essays) is the way that she places full blame or most of the blame for her ambivalence and sense of not being loved on her mother.

Is it easier for her to attack her mother or does she just make it easier? I'm not sure what the answer is, but I think that she is overly harsh or perhaps not harsh enough on her dad.

Granted, her mother has said some unbelievably cruel things to her. Her mother was trying to raise her w/ choice, independence, and in the process didn't give her enough attention. And, it appears that RW blames her ambivalence and failed relationships wholeheartedly on her mother. I could have done with less of the Alice Walker blaming and more of her musings.

What really troubled me w/ this book was the poor editing.Read more ›
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4.0 out of 5 starsTo Have or Not to Have a Baby
By Story Circle Book Reviews on April 22, 2008
Format: Paperback
Rebecca Walker writes honestly and eloquently of the many feelings and beliefs she has carried over the years about becoming a mother. The subtitle of her book, choosing motherhood after a lifetime of ambivalence, together with her main title, telegraphs the denouement of her story; namely, that her ambivalence takes a decidedly positive turn at some point in her story. Her change of heart is not a simple matter, and she shares the complex and often subtle experiences that ultimately change her.

The book is written as a diary in a style that is informal and pleasantly conversational. The topics are many, such as working versus motherhood, fears of having a baby, indecision (once deciding to have it) as to where to have it (at home or in a hospital), the complexities of relationship, and so many more. None of theses are new issues, to be sure, but each is pondered thoughtfully from differing aspects and the reader is invited to ponder them as well.

I was impressed by Walker's willingness to share her vulnerabilities, to reveal the lessons she has learned over time such as her tendency to "mother" others--to shower others with the emotional support that she craved but had not received as a child. She credits Glen, the man with whom she eventually would have her child, for much of her increased self-understanding, for his help with her moodiness, her depression, her sometimes disabling insecurities. He is consistently present and supportive, though never agreeing simply to please her. His intelligent rebuttals to some of her ideas bring an additional depth and dimension to the story.

Walker makes no secret of her antagonistic relationship with her own mother (author Alice Walker).Read more ›
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2.0 out of 5 starsBirdcage Lining
By Mother on March 25, 2007
Format: Hardcover
The narcissim, banality and lack of intelligent thought in this book is simply stunning. I am a new mother, and I cannot fathom how this book would have been useful to me during pregnancy; certainly not in retrospect. Because I also share a lot of Walker's racial/sexual/class/political experience I bought this immediately. I was deeply offended by a lot of her claims about feminism and what she insinuates about lesbian vs. heterosexual parenting, but truly jaw-dropping is her assertion about biological vs. non-biological parenting. She is so unable to get past herself, and so unable to recognize that her first stab at "parenting" was more playing house with an immature rocker and less the stuff of intentional motherhood. Perhaps that is part of what undermines the bond with her son that she then goes on to universalize. The revelations about the breach with her mother are frankly embarassing, and again, feel self-serving--like a desperate stab to hook a readership that she can't otherwise win and hold.
1 Comment 64 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
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1.0 out of 5 starsthere's no "there" there
By L. Helw on May 13, 2007
Format: Hardcover
I think the author seemed confused rather than ambivalent... the book offers no clear thinking through her own motives for this constant theme through her work: one-sided blaming. The writing is one dimensional and ascribes a lot of dark motives to many, except Rebecca.

Something cutting about her piecemeal narratives, esp her cold claim about the only kind of 'real' experience of being a mother is to give birth. She's a couple years shy of 40 years old and sees her body aging...well. What can be said about that. So much of the material here sounds like a 12 year old rather than a mature woman equal to her years.

For new mothers, I would recommend Ann Lamott's work, all of it. She is a very real mother who writes with deep love about various kinds of ambivilance and certitude regarding her precious son; she a single mother. Lamott has the gift of simple narrative that is literature without grunting with the effort to write litter-a-toor as Rebecca seems to try to do.

The thing is, there's a dearth of writings for new mothers, and mothers to be and adoptive mothers... fanning peacock writing like 'baby love' wont cut it for most.

If 'baby love' were a book by a person named Rebecca Smith, I think few people would look at it. Considering her tiresome writing m.o. of dissing her mother, (which also has this odd gloss to it; it just doesnt ring true... her examples of how badly she's been treated sound like a spoiled child complaining they only got everything except two things they wanted and they are really mad. Truly abused children carry an entirely different timbre) I wonder why she didnt keep her father's name instead.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5 starsTHE “THIRD WAVE” AUTHOR CHRONICLES THE BIRTH PROCESS FOR HER

Rebecca Walker (born 1969) is a writer who was a contributing editor to Ms. magazine for many years. Read more

Published 2 months ago by Steven H Propp
5.0 out of 5 starsTHE “THIRD WAVE” AUTHOR CHRONICLES THE BIRTH PROCESS FOR HER

Rebecca Walker (born 1969) is a writer who was a contributing editor to Ms. magazine for many years. Read more

Published 2 months ago by Steven H Propp
2.0 out of 5 starsThe writing was fine. It was a let down after her first ...

The writing was fine. It was a let down after her first book. I found her to be offputting and hypercritical. Read more

Published 8 months ago by JHM
2.0 out of 5 starsAn easy read. I am not very picky when it ...

An easy read. I am not very picky when it comes to what I read but I had to force myself to finish this book. Luckily, it was short and east to read. Read more

Published 14 months ago by C. Stebbing
1.0 out of 5 starswaste of my time

This books title is very misleading. It does not talk about the decision to have a child, it just talks about her and her baby. Read more

Published 19 months ago by Stephanie Kister
4.0 out of 5 starsThis is a good book that I enjoyed reading because

This is a good book that I enjoyed reading because, presumably, I'm Ms. Walker's target audience. It is very good at addressing the ambivalence many women feel at a certain age,... Read more

Published 19 months ago by Vav
4.0 out of 5 starsRaw, Honest, Beautifully Written

I loved Rebecca Walker's deeply honest and beautifully written story of her journey into Motherhood. A must read for anyone considering motherhood.

Published 23 months ago by Lucy C Jones
5.0 out of 5 starsHeartwarming

it was heartwarming to read how a young woman prepared herself for motherhood, and to see how she drew me into her "world."

Published on November 20, 2013 by Denise Pate
2.0 out of 5 starsI wanted to like this book...

Really, I did. I think that Rebecca Walker has an amazing voice, and she's someone who I wanted to be able to relate to. Read more

Published on September 10, 2013 by Juniper
5.0 out of 5 starsEvolution + Desire Tempered by Mommy Issues

To have a child, to not have a child? To merely survive or thrive after a high impact marquis mother? Read more

Published on January 9, 2013 by Holly Gleason

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