Look Before You Leap: A Premarital Guide for Couples (Paperback)

~ Sandra L. Ceren (Author)
Key Phrases: personality disorders, Look Before You Leap, New York, Personality Quiz Responses (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Product Description

Ready to Tie the Knot?

Originally published as a highly recommended professional text for premarital counselors, the research based quizzes, exercises, and case examples are now available for couples planning to marry. The materials can help you discover more about yourselves and your partner and determine readiness for marital challenges.

Discover who you really are

Find out more about your partner

Determine the quality of your relationship

Learn how to meet difficult situations

Gain skills to resolve conflicts

Acquire better communication

Achieve a satisfying and enduring relationship

Therapists' Acclaim for Look Before You Leap

"Dr. Ceren shares her forty years of experience in helping couples to reduce and prevent relationship problems before committing to marriage. The book is a remarkable roadmap to a healthy relationship and insight into self, written by a therapist who combines experience and skill in improving the lives of others."
-Rosalee G. Weiss, Ph.D., Diplomate, American Board of Psychological Specialties

Product Details

• Paperback: 156 pages
• Publisher: Loving Healing Press (September 15, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1932690751
• ISBN-13: 978-1932690750
• Product Dimensions: 8.8 x 6 x 0.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #489,983 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Wealth of Information, October 13, 2008

By	Reader Views "www.readerviews.com" (Austin, Texas) - See all my reviews

Reviewed by Carol Hoyer, PhD, for Reader Views (10/08)

Dr. Ceren has written a guide for everyone who is contemplating getting married or even delving into a committed relationship. The easy-to-understand language coupled with her forty-years of experience is a must read for all couples.

"Look Before You Leap" provides readers with important questions to ask prior to getting into a relationship and stresses that one should know themselves well before making a commitment. Many times couples go into relationships and have no idea what they want or what their roles should be; nor do they have good communication skills. Oftentimes, as Dr. Ceren states, couples rush into marriage and end up having problems down the road.

This guide originally was used as a professional text for marriage counselors; however, it is a good guide for all couples to utilize even if they are not in couples therapy. The easy-to-read chapters, quizzes and recommendations should be on every therapist's and couple's bookshelves. Dr. Ceren's ability to come across as interested and compassionate is found throughout the book. Many other books like this make one sometimes feel guilty and at fault for choosing the wrong person.

The first chapter talks about what makes a good relationship or marriage. One important fact in this chapter is that we cannot change our partner; we can only work on ourselves. In addition, she recommends that when one takes the quizzes they share their responses with their partner. This opens up the lines of communication.

Chapter 8 was a very interesting and important chapter to read. The chapter deals with Personality Disorders, which is something this reviewer feels many couples do not address. Dr. Ceren discusses the anti-social personality disorder; the hypersensitive personality, as well as the borderline and paranoid personality. She provides easy-to-read and understand case studies of couples. As a psychologist, I thought the examples were excellent and made me think of my own daughter who got into a relationship with a borderline personality. These relationships are doomed from the start and unless one knows what to look for, one partner can become a victim in the relationship.

The appendix provides a wealth of resources that includes financial help and different types of therapy. I am a firm believer in using movies in therapy as this allows an individual to watch in the comfort of their home and make comparisons to their own relationship. Sometimes it is easier for couples to discuss issues presented in the movies while not directly focusing on themselves. In addition, Dr. Ceren gives recommendations on how to watch the movies, providing questions to ask such as: "Which character did you relate to? Were there some attributes that you would like to develop?"

"Look Before You Leap" by Sandra L. Ceren is an excellent book that one can read over and over and make new notes each time.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars An Important Premarital Guide, October 14, 2008

By	RebeccasReads.com "Rebecca's Reads" (Austin, Texas) - See all my reviews

Reviewed by Kam Aures for RebeccasReads (10/08)


"Look Before You Leap: A Premarital Guide for Couples" was "originally published as a highly recommended professional text for premarital counselors." Now, it is an excellent resource available to couples that are planning on marriage. The book begins by taking a look at just what qualities and factors make for a good marriage. The main points are exemplified by case examples looking at the relationships of various couples. The case studies presented add a lot to the book, as it is always nice to have points expanded upon with interesting scenarios.

After the introduction, there are quizzes to take in order to better examine the couple's compatibility. The first quiz is a "Personality Quiz" which both partners are to fill out and then to exchange with one another. Some of the questions on this quiz are "If you could do anything you wanted, what would you do?" and "How do you usually respond when someone shares feelings with you?" After the quiz questions, the next chapter gives detailed insight into how you or your partner may have answered. Following this is the second quiz, which is a "Relationship Quiz." This one contains questions such as "At times do you feel suffocated by your partner?" and "What do you quarrel about?"

I think that these quizzes will definitely provide important insights into exactly just what kind of people you and your partner are, and whether or not you will have a fulfilling relationship that will last. There are too many marriages that end in divorce and I think that if all couples were to read this book or participate in pre-marital counseling then statistics would be much improved. The book touches on many important areas that are helpful to know about your partner before you rush in to marriage.

After the quizzes are chapters discussing communication and conflict resolution, and then suggested solutions in which different scenarios are presented and ideas are given on how to handle the situations. The final two sections focus on personality disorders and the different types of people that you may meet (e.g "old souls" and "over-givers").

If you are not yet married and are considering it, then this definitely is the book for you. You will learn a lot about your future husband or wife to be! Although I am already married, I really enjoyed this book. I always like books that have interactive elements, as I am one who learns best by doing. I think that even couples that have already taken the "leap" would benefit and learn new things about their partner if they were to sit down and go through the quizzes in the book. This action in turn may help to strengthen your existing relationship.

4.0 out of 5 stars Elvis Isn't the Only One to Blame!, July 18, 2009

By	Rebby (Illinois) - See all my reviews

What's the reason behind the growing divorce rate? It must be Elvis performing marriage ceremonies at drive-thrus in Las Vegas, right? Well, that's one theory. Another is that couples are not learning the necessary information they need to know about their partners in order to answer the ultimate question: "Is he/she the one?" Nowadays, it is easy to get caught up in a whirlwind romance and find yourself married six weeks after initially meeting. While these relationships can stand the test of time, it's not common. There are preventative measures you can take in order to lessen the chance that you'll be sitting across the table from your spouse five years from now arguing over who gets the dog. Many couples choose to attend premarital counseling in order to work out any issues or problems that might arise once they're married. If the mention of counseling sends your partner running for the door or gives you the nervous sweats, there are other options that can be just as beneficial. Sandra L. Ceren's Look Before You Leap: a Premarital Guide for Couples is one of the most affordable and stress-free of those options.

This book provides all the soul-searching questions that you'd be posed in counseling, but allows you to give your answers in a safe, comfortable setting. Not only does Ceren make it easy to understand what's necessary for a relationship to work, but she makes learning more about your significant other fun! The book gives basic information about what it takes to make a great relationship that you've probably already heard a thousand times before (communication, respect, love, etc.). Then, Ceren explores different real-life couples, both those that are still going strong and those who ignored her advice. This really gives you the unique opportunity to take a look at compatibility from the outside. For example, it may be easy to convince yourself that the age gap isn't affecting your relationship, but after reading about a similar couple, you may recognize yourself or see how others see your relationship.

The fun stuff begins with a personality quiz that you complete and share with your partner. Most of it is basic, but key information that could make a difference in your marriage, but you never thought to ask about. Do you know how your partner feels about children? What about the role religion will play in their children's lives? How good is your partner at handling money? When I completed this quiz with my boyfriend, we didn't learn anything new about each other, but that's because we've lived together for four years. Most couples who have dated for a significant amount of time will already know their partner's answers to these questions, but you might come across one you never thought about. There is also a relationship quiz that works much in the same manner, but focuses on compatibility issues.

The book also provides guided discussion questions for you and your partner, a list of comprehensive resources you might want to check out, and solutions for how to work out some of marriage's biggest road blocks. This is a nice book to use, especially if you are uncomfortable with the thought of sharing personal information with a professional. I honestly think it gives you everything a counselor could, if not more. My only concern with Ceren's guide is that it will only be marginally helpful to couples who are in long-term relationships. Most of the information is directed to couples who are early-on in their relationships and haven't discussed marriage. Like I said previously, my boyfriend and I have lived together for four years and we only picked up a few things we hadn't known before.