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The Posi-Machine

Crucial Youth Format: Audio CD
4.4 out of 5 stars 5 customer reviews
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MP3 Music, September 11, 2001
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Audio CD, September 11, 2001
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Vinyl, Import, May 15, 2012
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$14.26 & FREE Shipping on orders over $49. Details Only 2 left in stock (more on the way). Ships from and sold by Amazon.com. Gift-wrap available.

Track Listings

Disc: 1

  1. Intro
  2. Youth of the World
  3. Caffeine
  4. Just One Beer
  5. Positive Dental Outlook
  6. The Scene Is Like a Bowling Ball
  7. Big Mouth
  8. Keep off the Grass
  9. 4 Food Groups
  10. Suburban Streetwise
  11. Scarlet M
  12. Face Plant
  13. Just Say No
  14. Me and Mr. T
  15. Turn the Other Cheek
  16. 4 Rules
  17. I'm Proud
  18. Cross at the Green (Not in Between)
  19. Honor Roll
  20. Posi-Machine

Product Details

  • Audio CD (September 11, 2001)
  • Number of Discs: 1
  • Label: New Red Archive
  • ASIN: B00004TGGY
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #509,098 in Music (See Top 100 in Music)

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Amazon's Crucial Youth Store

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Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5 starsNot a paraody band
By x_gamma on December 30, 2010
Format: Audio CD
I don't mean to disrespect any other reviewers (that wouldn't be very positive), but Crucial Youth was NOT a parody of straight-edge bands. I've been a fan for 20+ years; I ordered their "Possie-Machine" cassette from a Maximum Rock & Roll ad back in the 1980's for $3. Yes their lyrics were hilariously over-the-top, but that was a method of their madness; they were serious about what they were saying. It's OK to be straight-edge, drink milk, and laugh about it too. A-TEAM JAM!!!
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5.0 out of 5 starsFunny Youth Crew to BUST to!!
By A Customer on October 24, 2002
Format: Audio CD
This a old school youth crew album, with lyrics about being straight edge, being clean, and brushing your teeth. It is a joke album but the music is for real. If you're in to Youth of Today, Chain of strength, but have a sense of humor, get this album.
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3.0 out of 5 starsDental Hygiene is so Punk!
By Evan A Genest on August 2, 2004
Format: Audio CD
I'm listening to them (on an old cassette) right now. i can only hope that this CD re-issue still comes with the comic book satirizing all things straight-edge. You'd have to be straight-edge to get the jokes. The singer apes Ian MacKaye well on their main credo, singing:

Be Straight!

Don't be late!

Bench your weight!

Don't masturbate!

I am pleasantly surprised that some record company is still pressing this obscure little bit of hilarity. Give it as a gift!
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4.0 out of 5 starsMilk=good; Beer=bad; Crucial Youth=hilarious sXe fun
By J. Holmes on February 5, 2006
Format: Audio CD
ahhh...this one brings back some memories. in an age where bands were seriously touting themselves as the most "positive" band ever (now what the hell could that possibly mean?)...comes this joke band that satirizes every harcore, posi-core, sXe band that ever existed up to 1988. the really funny thing is that Crucial Youth outplay every one of those bands that they are making fun of...beating them at their own game. this music was at a time before terms like "metalcore" and "mathcore" existed. this is really just straight up hardcore with lyrics promoting dental hygiene, good grades, and condeming (beyond the drugs and drinking) acts of littering, and profanity. the comics inside the booklet are as hilarious as the lyrics and are probably really really funny if you were ever once straight-edge in your past...you sellouts!!! you betrayers of the XXX brethren!!! haha. time for a drink.
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5.0 out of 5 starsFrickin' amazing!
By Joshua C. Harper on September 6, 2009
Format: MP3 Music
Crucial Youth was the premiere fake straight edge band of the 80's and 90's. Songs include anthems decrying the use of foul language, jaywalking, poor dental hygiene, and masturbating. Posi sing alongs abound, including such classic lyrics as "be straight, don't be late, bench your weight, and for goodness sake please don't masturbate!" You must buy this record, and then build yourself a Youth Brush. Amazing.
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