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5 of 7 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Oh the humanity!, April 15, 2004
I rarely have problems watching a shot on video production. I figure budding new filmmakers have to start somewhere in the quest for a Hollywood career. If that means picking up Mom and Dad's camcorder and shooting a film with your buddies, so be it. It's not like you can walk into a Tinseltown studio with a script tucked under your arm and get a job making a summer blockbuster by the end of the week. Making films is a lot like writing; it takes a great amount of time and effort to create something other people will want to experience. I have seen plenty of movies where the director had almost nothing to work with yet created a truly engaging picture. Look at David Cronenberg's "Shivers," for example. He had so little money that he couldn't film anywhere other than in an apartment building, yet the movie works nicely because the idea is original. Unfortunately, "Camp Blood" is an example of the other extreme, a prime example of sloppy filmmaking, bad acting, and a horrible and highly derivative script. "Camp Blood" looks bad, feels bad, and is bad. I find it incredible that you can rent this atrocity at the video store. A group of young people (sigh) decides to camp out in the woods near an abandoned summer camp that the locals in the area have since rechristened Camp Blood. We know the place is dangerous because a couple looking for rare flora and fauna die horribly at the hands of killer clown (!) before the kiddies get there, and the locals tell our hapless heroes not to go there. Well, one local tells them, a guy dutifully fulfilling the cliché ridden Crazy Ralph role seen in the early "Friday the 13th" films. As the campers arrive on the scene-two guys and two girls-they meet up with their "guide," a tough looking chick with a sinister attitude who seems to know more about Camp Blood than she is willing to let on. The gang tramps out into the woods, sets up a few tents, and promptly falls prey to a guy shuffling around in the woods wearing a cheesy clown mask. Everyone expires except one of the girls, a portly young lady whose screams of terror must rank as the funniest expressions of terror ever recorded on celluloid...oops, I mean videotape. The "twist" ending is so incredibly thickheaded that I felt not only robbed of the few cents I spent renting this clunker, but actually considered shelling out a few more bucks to hire a private detective to track down everyone associated with the film so I could personally tell them what I thought about the movie. I didn't bother watching "Camp Blood" in its 3-D format since I don't have the necessary eyewear. Doing so wouldn't have made much of a difference anyway. The movie reeks, period. Everything you could imagine going wrong with a movie happens here. The acting, for example, is downright awful. One of the guys on the trip is such a mouthy jerk that watching his performance is the equivalent of dragging daggers over a chalkboard. He's always yelling at the top of his lungs, swearing at somebody, or threatening to harm his friends. Never mind the fact that he's a skinny little runt who would drop like a stone at the first punch. The second place award in the "most irritating" category is the heroine of the film, a whiny gal who constantly berates her friends about the trip. She also takes center stage in the lamest scene in the film, the all-important chase at the end between her and the killer. I've seen people with walkers move faster than these two. And she wails away like a siren the whole time. Even worse, the actors reappear at the end playing entirely different roles without any explanation. As for the special effects, cinematography, and pacing-forget about it. A bit of blood shows up from time to time, but not enough or done well enough to get fired up about. The cinematography, strictly home movie camcorder all the way, looks like a three year old planned it. The pacing slows down to a snail's pace within seconds of the opening credits. I think the movie only ended up running for roughly seventy plus minutes, but it felt like I could have read "War and Peace," "Moby Dick," and "The Count of Monte Christo" in the time it took to watch the picture. I have already said it, but it bears repeating-nothing about "Camp Blood" works. The only mystery in this movie has little to do with the killer's identity but everything to do with how I could sit still long enough to watch this car wreck from start to finish. I am not strongly urging you to avoid this film; I am ordering you not to watch it. Just keep moving right along when you see the case on the shelf at the video store. The DVD contains a few extras, mostly trailers for a couple of other schlock shot on video films like "Hunting Season" and a zombie picture. I got the impression from the trailers that the same people behind "Camp Blood" had a lot to do with these two films. If so, I know I won't watch them anytime soon. Why? Life lasts only so long, and there are other things I could do with my time. Like cleaning my navel, organizing my sock drawer, and polishing the plastic tips on my shoelaces. I guess we should give it up for "Camp Blood" in the end, though. By making such an atrocious film, every other film now has a standard against which they can judge their own innate badness (or goodness). Give this one a wide, wide berth.
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