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8 of 10 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars
Death rays, sea monsters, and murder by spear gun..., April 27, 2004
Okay, I certainly had no illusions of grandeur when I popped this one into the DVD player, and neither should you. The Phantom From 10,000 Leagues? A more apt title would be the Guy in the Cheap Monster Suit From 20 Feet (or 0.00109730 Leagues, if you want to get technical)...The film, directed by Dan Milner and presented by Samuel Z. Arkoff and James H. Nicholson (hence the incredibly cheapness of the entire affair) stars Kent Taylor, who also starred as Boston Blackie in the television series of the same name along with various cinematic wonders as The Crawling Hand (1963), Brides of Blood (1968), Satan's Sadists (1969), The Mighty Gorga (1969), and Brain of Blood (1972). The film also stars Cathy Downs, who later appeared in films like The She Creature (1956), The Amazing Colossal Man (1957), and Missile to the Moon (1958), Michael Whalen (who also appeared with Ms. Downs in Missile to the Moon, Rodney Bell, Phillip Pine, Vivi Janess, and Pierce Lyden as Andy, the janitor. The film opens with a fisherman casting a net off a small dingy, I guess, to catch some fish. Underneath the boat we see a man in a somewhat elaborate, yet highly unresponsive, monster suit. He pushes some on the bottom of the boat, and this causes the man to let out a feeble yell and fall into the water. The creature then proceeds to...the best way I could describe this is to say the creature began having relationship with the man in the water. I suppose it was meant to look like it was attacking the fisherman, but it surely didn't...anyway, the next scene shows the fisherman's corpse and his dingy on the beach, and we meet out main character, Dr. Ted Stevens (Taylor), or, as he's calling himself Ted Baxter, for reasons of his own for now, discovers the body. As the good doctor is looking over the body, government man William Grant (Bell), or Mr. Grant as he's known throughout the film, arrives and starts questioning Ted Baxter about what he's doing. Ted Baxter? Mr. Grant? I know, I know...if characters named Mary Richards and Murray Slaughter show up, we got us a full blown episode of The Mary Tyler Moore show...anyway, it appears the fisherman died of burns produced by exposure to radiation. So the pre-martial activities with the sea serpent were just salt in the wound? Bleeech... The story progresses, and we learn that a professor of a local university, Professor King (Whalen) is working on some secret project, one of great interest to his secretary Ethel Hall (Janiss) and the professor's opportunistic assistant George Thomas (Pine), both whom he doesn't trust, for good reason. We also meet the professor's daughter, Lois (Downs), who really has no other purpose in the movie other than looking good and being a romantic foil for Taylor's character. Apparently the fisherman who turned up charbroiled wasn't the first victim, and the locals have concocted a story about a phantom(?!) haunting the cove, taking people. What is this, a Scooby Doo mystery? And what's Dr. Stevens role in this story? Turns out, as an expert in atomics and `death ray' technology (I kid you not), he was assigned to investigate, but no one told Mr. Grant, who is also looking into the matter. Apparently Professor King has developed a way to mutate normal sea creatures into monsters, and now one is guarding and feeding off a fissure of uranium within the cove, and killing anyone who comes near it. Also, it seems the Professor's assistant George Thomas is working with some unknown group to steal the Professor's plans, whatever the heck they are, and get paid big time. As for the Professor's secretary Ethel, well, she's just nosey, and we all know what happens to nosey secretaries, right? They get shot with a spear gun in the back. Oops...I give too much away...oh man, this is too good...who's the killer running around shooting a spear gun at people? It's no big mystery, as the culprit is highly moronic...I mean, a spear gun? Anyway, this mess of a movie shambles along, some more people die, people commit acts of idiocy, and the whole thing gets resolved about twenty minutes later than it should have, filling out the 80 minute run time. The whole film is just so very cheap...the cardboard sets, clunky and unwieldy expository dialogue, utterly inane characters, and the complete predictability of the plot. It may seem like I've given things away in my review, but I really haven't, as you'll see most of what I talked about coming long before it does... The print here looks really shoddy, being washed out, grainy, and just all around generally poor. Is there a better source print out there? Perhaps, but who's going to bother finding it? Retromedia does provide a good amount of extras for its' release including Drive-In Antics featuring Fred Olen Ray and Miss Kim (there is a bit o' nudity here, so don't let the kiddies watch), intermission spots, the kind you used to see in theaters and drive ins spouting the virtues of the snack bar and removing the speaker from your car window before leaving the drive-in, a still gallery for the film, Drive-In Antics bloopers/outtakes, and a whole slew of trailers of highly dubious films like the one on this disc along with trailers for Beast of the Yellow Night (1971), Curse of the Vampires (1971), Invasion of the Blood Farmers (1972), Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers (1988), Fatal Justice (1993), Evil Spawn (1987), and Scalps (1983). I guess if I take one thing away from this film it's if you're going to choose a weapon to murder someone, a spear gun probably shouldn't be your first choice. I mean, if you miss, it just takes too long to reload, and you completely lose the element of surprise. There are several releases of this film out there, so features subject to change. Cookieman108
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