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The Disease to Please: Curing the People-Pleasing Syndrome Audible – Unabridged

Kate Redding (Narrator), Harriet Braiker (Author), McGraw-Hill Education (Publisher)

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People pleasers are not just nice people who go overboard trying to make everyone happy. Those who suffer from the Disease to Please are people who say "Yes" when they really want to say "No". For them, the uncontrollable need for the elusive approval of others is an addiction. Their debilitating fears of anger and confrontation force them to use "niceness" and "people-pleasing" as self-defense camouflage.

Featured on NBC's Today, The Disease to Please explodes the dangerous myth that "people pleasing" is a benign problem. Best-selling author and frequent Oprah guest Dr. Harriet Braiker offers clear, positive, practical, and easily do-able steps toward recovery.

Begin with a simple but revealing quiz to discover what type of people-pleaser you are. Then learn how making even small changes to any single portion of the Disease to Please Triangle, involving your thoughts, feelings, and behavior, will cause a dramatic, positive, and long-lasting change to the overall syndrome.

As a recovered people pleaser, you will finally see that a balanced way of living that takes others into consideration but puts the emphasis first on pleasing yourself and gaining your own approval is the clearest path to health and happiness.

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Product Details

Audible Audio Edition
Listening Length: 4 hours and 20 minutes
Program Type: Audiobook
Version: Unabridged
Publisher: McGraw-Hill Education
Audible.com Release Date: February 23, 2006
Language: English
ASIN: B000EQDE0S
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
- #154 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Mental Health > Codependency
- #500 in Books > Audible Audiobooks > Health, Mind & Body > Family & Relationships
- #696 in Books > Self-Help > Self-Esteem

Customer Reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars

5 star		70%
4 star		19%
3 star		3%
2 star		4%
1 star		4%

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Top Customer Reviews

THE DISEASE TO PLEASE

By Carlyn Arnold on February 3, 2001

Format: Hardcover

This book is one of the most important and helpful self help books which I have ever read. I felt as if it were written directly with me in mind. The author has been a practicing clinical psychologist for 25 years and gives examples through her patients' history's of problems and how they have been helped. In addition to that, she gives very specific ways that you, the reader, can apply these principles to your daily life. You might think that women have this problem more than men but that is not necessarily true. My husband is now reading this book and my grown children are also. You find that it helps you to understand not only yourself better but others as well. She writes in an easy to understand way. This is a book where you find yourself reading every word. There is nothing here which is not relevant or to the point. It has become, for me, a kind of textbook which I refer back to. In fact, she encourages the reader to read with a highlighter and to use the book as you would a textbook. I recommend this book to everyone except those who already feel that they know everything.

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Insightful!

By Rolf Dobelli HALL OF FAMETOP 1000 REVIEWER on October 17, 2001

Format: Hardcover

Why do some people try so hard to please others that end up pleasing no one - including themselves? Harriet B. Braiker anchors this phenomenon in early childhood problems, such as guilt or low self-esteem, and shows how it harms adult relationships, including those at work. Although she emphasizes interpersonal relationships off the job, executives, managers and employees at all levels will still find her book helpful in life and in work. Braiker describes three primary manifestations (compulsive behavior, distorted thinking, and avoidance of negative feelings) of being a people-pleaser, and notes that this problem can stem from a personal mind-set, a habit or an intense aversion to conflict. Most helpfully, she explains strategies for more productive behavior. Sometimes the explanations and self-help quizzes become repetitive, but her examples keep the book's pace flowing. Thus we [...] recommend this book as - dare we say it? - a real crowd pleaser.

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Extremely well done, very helpful

By j garr on October 4, 2007

Format: Paperback

As opposed to many self help books, Braiker has written a book that has substance instead of "rah-rah" fluff, and is very well written so you can actually apply the concepts into your daily life.

She does not assume that everyone has the same challenges. Reflecting that premise, at the beginning of most all sections she provides a list of questions for the reader to answer so they can tell how much they may or may not need the concepts that follow. You don't have to read it from start to finish. Instead, take the first test and jump right to sections that will provide you the most help.

Her ideas are very well thought out and clearly written. The "light turns on" as you read a paragraph and ponder how it applies to you.

If you want everyone to like you and it bothers you when they do not, or if you are addicted to pleasing your employer and work excessively, this is one of the first books I would read.

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So Helpful

By Jane Edward on January 11, 2008

Format: Paperback

This book was recommended to me by my counselor. The book is full of insightful information. It was amazing how many times I said to myself "that is exactly how I feel" Trying to please everyone all the time gets in the way of so many things on so many levels and this book helps you see and understand those things...People with the disease to please think they are doing all these good things by being so kind and helpful and loving when in reality, it can be pretty eroding to their own self esteem and their close personal relationships without them even realizing it because of the underlying reasons as to why they lay aside their own feelings about something in order to please everyone, keep peace, avoid conflict, etc. The step by step plan to help the pleaser move away from the mindset that makes him/her sacrifice so many things to please others is excellent. While not complicated or something revolutionary, it helps the reader to truly focus on thoughts and motivations and take steps to readjust your thinking. It is a must read for anyone who thinks they have even the slightest tendancy to be a people pleaser whether on the job or in thier personal lives.

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Doormats Rejoice!

By JinDallas on June 10, 2009

Format: Paperback

If you've ever spent time as an unhappy, people pleasing doormat then this book is for you. I disagree with a previous reviewer who criticized the book stating that "nice" was a personality trait and not a disease. That person either didn't read the book or completely missed the point. The book in no way suggests that niceness in its true form is a disease. People pleasing to the point of self-neglect and self-destruction is a disease. A nasty one. And this book offers treatment. It sheds light on why we do this and what we can do to stop the cycle. You can stand up for yourself, express your needs and still be a nice person. It's not about changing personality traits but destructive thoughts and behaviors. Bravo.

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3 Parts Symptoms to 1 Part Solution

By Todd Billingsley on December 30, 2012

Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase

Great title...well written...and nice design. This book is really geared toward those who have yet to discover they are struggling with approval addiction. It lays out very well all the symptoms, thoughts, and feelings one may have and experience when craving approval.

If you already know you struggle with this problem, it can become frustrating sifting through all the symptoms to get to the solutions (which are too brief) of how to handle various situations. It might have helped in the design of the book to have designated "Ta-Da!" moments or very clear "here's the solution" boxes. Otherwise, you can miss them once you move into scanning mode.

There is definitely helpful content, but the book overall is a ground-rule double rather than a homerun.

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Most Recent Customer Reviews

Great self help book for anyone that is a people ...

Great self help book for anyone that is a people pleaser. Will ultimately help you to change that behavior if you really want to change.

Published 23 days ago by Retta

This is a really great books. Great section on children's experience...

This is a really great books. Great section on children's experience with troubled, less-than-perfect parents. Read more

Published 1 month ago by DAG

Five Stars

Great eye opening book!

Published 1 month ago by Ms. Lady

Even though I had a difficult time reading the book, it provided me with support that I needed at the time. Read more

Published 2 months ago by Amazon Customer

Life Changing Book

You can come back again and again to the 21 day action plan and put strategies into practice to really disuade yourself from your people pleasing habits... Read more

Published 2 months ago by Amazon Customer

Five Stars

great

Published 2 months ago by debra overcash

intendes for women

Don't buy if you are a guy. Be a man lol

Published 3 months ago by Max Prezio

Fantastic book

I learned so much from this book. It was uncanny how many times I found myself reading about exact situations and outcomes I have experienced as a people pleaser. Read more

Published 4 months ago by SLSBIN

Five Stars

She really opens your eyes

Published 5 months ago by ocean22

Five Stars

Excellent for those of us with this disease

Published 5 months ago by Guy M. Mersereau