Ready to buy?
Digital Delivery
(How does this work?)

The King of Retail
 
See larger image 

The King of Retail, an Amazon Short
by Grant Jarrett (Author)
4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)
Price:  $0.49
Length:  9,921 words, 34 pages
About Amazon Shorts:
  • Amazon Shorts content is available exclusively at Amazon.com/Shorts.
  • Amazon Shorts are delivered electronically and available in PDF, HTML and text e-mail formats.
  • You are free to print Amazon Shorts to read in hard copy form at your convenience.
About the Author
Grant Jarrett spent the first twenty years of his working life as a professional musician and occasional standup comic, and ... Read more
Product Details

Editorial Reviews

Product Description

Before realizing I could earn a substandard income as a writer, I ran a bike shop on Manhattan's Upper East Side. Ah, retail. If you've never had a job in retail you really are missing something. What you're missing is exhaustion, discontent, irritable bowel syndrome, bitterness, athletes' foot, free-floating rage, crotch rot, depression, chronic bedwetting, and a powerful urge to tear the eyelids off complete strangers. I was the King of Retail. And it was a good life. Well, it might have been...if not for the customers...and employees. "Heeeere, King."
The Complete Works of Grant Jarrett
Most recent titles listed first
Friendly Rejections Friendly Rejections January 16, 2007; 8 pages
There may be nothing more discouraging to the aspiring author than trying to get published. In fact the submission process is... Read more
You Were Right You Were Right May 24, 2006; 8 pages
It's so much easier (and far more fun) to see the flaws in others than to examine our own shortcomings. And... Read more
Punishment Punishment May 24, 2006; 17 pages
We need to live with ourselves. So we seek ways to adjust our own moral boundaries when we find ourselves on... Read more
Philip Waning Philip Waning November 22, 2005; 13 pages
My father was more insulated from his emotions than anyone I’ve ever known. If he felt anything at all, it was... Read more
gas 'n snack gas 'n snack October 20, 2005; 30 pages
This is a story about insanity. Or maybe it’s really about lust, or vengeance, or perhaps it’s more of a love... Read more
More Towels: In Between the Notes More Towels: In Between the Notes August 15, 2002; 268 pages
One of four younger brothers of a world-renowned jazz pianist, our less exceptional protagonist begins his peculiar journey of discovery at the age of seventeen, leaving his home in Pennsylvania's Pocono Mountains to work with a laughably bad, self-contained show band. Read more
About the Author

Grant Jarrett spent the first twenty years of his working life as a professional musician and occasional standup comic, and the six years that followed managing a small business and working on a memoir about life on the road. For the last eight years Mr. Jarrett has made his living as a writer, editor and ghostwriter. In addition to his memoir, More Towels, which was published in 2001, he has written two novels, a collection of short stories and a novella. Mr. Jarrett now lives in New York City.
 

Customer Reviews

5 Reviews
5 star:
 (4)
4 star:    (0)
3 star:    (0)
2 star:    (0)
1 star:
 (1)
 
 
 
 
 
Average Customer Review
4.2 out of 5 stars (5 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
Share your thoughts with other customers:
Most Helpful Customer Reviews

 
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious, a bullseye. , October 25, 2006
You don't have to have experience in retail to appreciate the humor in this laugh-out-loud story of frustration, rage, sadness, and despair. If you've worked, gone to school, or lived, you'll understand the angst Jarrett suffered. But Jarrett somehow manages to find the humor in everything (see his story "You were right"). For the reviewer who had trouble with the details, I'm afraid you missed the point. The details here combine to create a mood and a reality that makes the reader see, understand, identify with, and care about the character. Did I forget to mention how funny this is? I think Grant Jarrett is one of the funniest, most versatile writers around. Give it a shot.
Comment Comment | Permalink | Was this review helpful to you? Yes No (Report this)



 
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Painfully Funny!, June 12, 2006
By Apache Wind "Bookaholic" (Somewhere Over The Rainbow) - See all my reviews
I was all set to be offended with Mr. Jarrett's four letter words needlessly used at whim, but he won me over with them because those four letter words helped him describes EXACTLY how one feels and more importantly how one THINKS if you [are or have] ever worked in RETAIL.
He writes with a telling sign of his former life as a stand up comic, and makes the story something more then just another "b*tching and moaning" drama session. I really enjoyed his choice of words and his sense of humor, I wait anxiously now for his next venture in AmazonShorts. Great work!, Mr. Jarrett.
Comment Comment | Permalink | Was this review helpful to you? Yes No (Report this)



 
3 of 4 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Hell made hilarious, June 9, 2006
By Whatever (Portland, OR) - See all my reviews
Anyone who's had a job in retail or waited tables, anyone who's dealt with the public or simply experienced the existential panic that working at an unsatisfying job can ignite will relate to the tortured character in The King of Retail. This story, a mix of hilarity and despair, begins where the last morning dream ends and ends when the night's first dream begins. Very funny and pitch perfect. Another hit from Jarret.
Comment Comment | Permalink | Was this review helpful to you? Yes No (Report this)


Share your thoughts with other customers: Create your own review
 
 
 
Most Recent Customer Reviews

1.0 out of 5 stars In the Mood for Annoying OCD Drivel?
Does anyone really need to know all the tiny, uninteresting details of another person's life? Surprisingly, quite a few Amazon Short readers have decided that this is the oeuvre... Read more
Published on October 22, 2006 by Skipster

5.0 out of 5 stars Jarrett pushes my "laugh button!"
After reading Gas and Snack, I had to give this short a try. The author, Grant Jarrett, really has a sense of humor. And it seems he can find it anywhere ... Read more
Published on July 14, 2006 by Betty L. Dravis

Only search this product's reviews


Customer Discussions

This product's forum
Discussion Replies Latest Post
No discussions yet

Ask questions, Share opinions, Gain insight
Start a new discussion
Topic:
First post:
Prompts for sign-in
 


Active discussions in related forums
Search Customer Discussions
Search all Amazon discussions
   
Related forums

Listmania!

Create a Listmania! list

So You'd Like to...

Create a guide

Tags Customers Associate with This Product

 (What's this?)
Click on a tag to find related items, discussions, and people.
 
(1)
(1)

Your tags: Add your first tag
 
See most popular tags

 

Feedback

If you need help or have a question for Customer Service, contact us.
 Would you like to update product info or give feedback on images?
Is there any other feedback you would like to provide?

Your comments can help make our site better for everyone.


Your Recent History

 (What's this?)

After viewing product detail pages or search results, look here to find an easy way to navigate back to pages you are interested in.