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Dead Clowns
 
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Dead Clowns (2006)

Starring: Lucien Eisenach, Kimberly Lynn Cole Director: Steve Sessions Rating: R (Restricted) Format: DVD
1.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (17 customer reviews)

List Price: $14.98
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Frequently Bought Together

Dead Clowns + The Clown Murders + Fear of Clowns
Total List Price: $39.93
Price For All Three: $36.95

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  • This item: Dead Clowns DVD ~ Lucien Eisenach

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  • The Clown Murders DVD ~ John Candy

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  • Fear of Clowns DVD ~ Jacky Reres

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Product Details

  • Actors: Lucien Eisenach, Kimberly Lynn Cole, Debbie Rochon, Jeff Dylan Graham, Brinke Stevens
  • Directors: Steve Sessions
  • Format: AC-3, Closed-captioned, Color, Dolby, DVD, Subtitled, Widescreen, NTSC
  • Language: English
  • Subtitles: English, Spanish
  • Region: Region 1 (U.S. and Canada only. Read more about DVD formats.)
  • Number of discs: 1
  • Rating: R (Restricted)
  • Studio: Lions Gate
  • DVD Release Date: July 31, 2007
  • Run Time: 95 minutes
  • Average Customer Review: 1.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (17 customer reviews)
  • ASIN: B000QCQUN8
  • Amazon.com Sales Rank: #92,228 in Movies & TV (See Bestsellers in Movies & TV)

Editorial Reviews

Product Description

As a hurricane approaches the small coastal town of Port Emmett, an innocent group of residents are visited by an unspeakable horror. Fifty years ago a bridge collapsed in the small town, plunging a circus train into the dark water below. The clown car was never recovered. Tonight the zombie clowns emerge from the bay to exact revenge on the descendants of those who left them buried under the silt and mud for half a century.

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Customer Reviews

17 Reviews
5 star:
 (1)
4 star:
 (1)
3 star:    (0)
2 star:
 (2)
1 star:
 (13)
 
 
 
 
 
Average Customer Review
1.5 out of 5 stars (17 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

 
10 of 13 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars OH BROTHER..., August 6, 2007
By LeviDevi "Bubman" (Frankfort, KY USA) - See all my reviews
  
I have decided I am TRULY in the wrong profession. If the people involved with this major catastrophe can get money, we ALL need to go the route of the movie industry.

I will say one thing: the majority of "indy" horror productions sell their movie with packaging. I picked this up and thought, "hey; interesting cover. I'll give it a try." STUPID, STUPID, STUPID. This movie is the WORST movie I've ever seen--and I've seen plenty of stinkers in my 54 years.

Supposedly set in Port Emmett, Florida, "Dead Clowns" is about (I should have read the back of the disc) a terrible tragedy involving of all things a clown car being dumped into the bay--never to be recovered. It's said, mind you, that on certain nights you can hear the sound of a calliope wafting over the waters...

Obviously shot on a shoe-string budget (not to mention a wing and a prayer), there is actually no story at all. There's some boring footage of a hurricane, the same old shot of wind blown palm trees, traffic lights, and stop signs. Yep; that about sums up the movie. Oh...I forgot. Seems that--for whatever reason--the clowns are now zombies and they have picked this particular night (keep in mind they've been buried for over 50 years) to show up and eat people. The effects are at an all time low: think Herschel Gordon Lewis--but WAY worse. The extras in this movie (and I absolutely refuse to refer to any of them as actors) have as much stage presence as a dead ferret. The editing, pacing, and directing are all horrible. The majority of the cast members do not even speak--probably for good reason.

This complete waste of time lasts 95 minutes and was distributed by Lionsgate. People, keep this up and you'll be as defunct as Orion Pictures. It was directed and written by Steve Sessions and probably shot on his one night off from Jack-In-The-Box. This movie should be pulled from the shelves and sent back to its distributor. It is not worth one star. Possibly the only movie I would give a negative rating.
STAY AWAY!!! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars headache, October 29, 2007
By ribcage (Lantana, Florida United States) - See all my reviews
DEAD CLOWNS is just a headache waiting to happen. The story is that all these clowns on a train fell into the bay during a hurricane, and the town just didn't care to spend the money to look for them or remember them so now another hurricane rolls around and the clowns are back after 50 years or so to seek revenge.

Only they're not very funny. Really, what's the point of putting clowns in your movie if it's going to be a COMPLETELY humorless film. I don't pick up a clown film because I think it will have a good story, I don't pick them up for the great character development, I pick them up to see clowns killing people in clown-like ways. And zombie clowns? Well, thats brillaint. Except they screwed it up by letting them just be zombies dressed as clowns. I was expecting imagination, I got nothing.

The characters are boring, cliche and annoying and the dialogue is dull and drawn out to death. The pacing is all wrong. The only relief comes in waiting for the occassional stock hurricane footage because at least that was filmed well. Only it's the same shots over and over so that gets pretty awful too.

But yeah all of that I could've ignored for the most part if these clowns had actually been clowns and killed with imagination. That would have left the problem of the film being unbearably slow, poorly and weirdly lit with bad sound, and generally headache-inducing, but at least I would've thrown down two stars for the interesting deaths.

As is, there's no reason to watch this, let alone buy it.

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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars What a sh**y circus, October 13, 2009
By Sid the Elf (North Pole) - See all my reviews
With review number Dan Q on the Octoberfest horror season we decided to go with a little of the clown horror variety. Now let us explain that never have we been the type to jump on the bandwagon when it comes to liking or disliking a film. We couldn't care less about what someones opinion is, but just about everyone was spot on here. This one's easily on par with world's top horrific films like Rise Of The Scarecrows and Halloween Night. No matter how b or how low the budget is Sid can find the enjoyment in almost anything, except a piece of trash like this. In all the disasters we've watched this one sits in the top 5 and will make an appearance on the "He's Gone the Evil's Gone from Here" list.

Dead Clowns (aka Man that looks like a dead bear) takes place on a home video camera somewhere in Florida. A hurricane is coming into the area and dominates the first half hour making you wonder if you watching a b version of the weather channel. All you get is landscape shots of the storm along with some mindlessly boring dialogue. You're literally seconds away from throwing in the towel when something actually happens. For some reason the storm resurrects a bunch of dead clowns from the sea who died in a bridge collapse. That's it folks, that's your movie. Now please thank Sid for saving you the hour and a half you could have spent doing absolutely anything besides watching this. So obviously we think this one blows and would have no matter what age we were in the past. When you return this one give it the right treatment and scream "he's gone, the evil's gone from here!"

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Most Recent Customer Reviews

1.0 out of 5 stars anything is better to waste your money on then this.
no actors, directors, screen writters, make-up artests, or professionals were used in the making of this crap. none were asked for advice either. Read more
Published 4 months ago by gespect

1.0 out of 5 stars Finally... I ahve seen the worst horror movie ever
This DVD is just plain awful. The setting is horrible. The storm scenes are terrible. The dialogue is non-existant and the actors deliver them with little emotion. Read more
Published 6 months ago by Paul

1.0 out of 5 stars So so so misleading
Im really not into giving movies bad reviews, for everybody has their own vantage point. Although i will say dead clowns is very misleading. Read more
Published 13 months ago by John Parrish

4.0 out of 5 stars I Can't Wait to Be Burned At the Stake for Liking This Movie!!?
I had to save this movie from its scathing reviews...I honestly like it. Now keep in mind that the director was interviewed and kept referring to it as not a low-budget movie,... Read more
Published 14 months ago by Noir Man

1.0 out of 5 stars All I have to say is...
..this was the biggest piece of suck that ever sucked. Did I mention it sucked? It did.
Published 15 months ago by ljmerr

1.0 out of 5 stars Why?
OK I'm not quite understanding why anybody would ever give this flop of a movie 5 stars. Cult classic my @$$. Never in a million years would that ever happen. Read more
Published 22 months ago by Leo

1.0 out of 5 stars WHAT THE ....????
honestly i'm at a loss for words for this movie. i really don't know what to say. dead clowns, dead movie, dead it should stay. man, i can't believe it. Read more
Published 23 months ago by horrorqueen

2.0 out of 5 stars What category is below B-movies?
This was just not good. In the world of straight-to-DVD movies, this is one of the worst I've ever seen. Read more
Published 23 months ago by Icarus Falls

1.0 out of 5 stars Ugh!
I have seen this movie. Only the existence of`"Manos, the Hands of Fate" keeps this from being the worst movie ever made.
Published on October 2, 2007 by Dorothy Carter

1.0 out of 5 stars boooooring
I generally find something to like about every movie, even just that 1 split-second scene. This movie making it to the mainstream market is what you can a "racket" - and should... Read more
Published on September 11, 2007 by Michael C. Mash

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